Baby Shower Dilemma - Help Please?

txmorris3

We are having 2 showers - one hosted by my girlfriends and one hosted by some friends of my parents.  

My mother-in-law also offered to throw a shower, but we declined since we thought 3 showers would be overkill (she has also had some health problems and is living out of state, so we were worried about the stress for her). I thought one shower could be for my friends and one could be for our parents' friends, since this is the first grandbaby on both sides and they are very excited.

My parents' friends initially said we had an "unlimited" guest list, but recently chose a smaller venue and we will have to limit after all. I want to give an equal number of invites to both my mother and mother-in-law, but my mother is very upset about having to "cut back" her list. She says since the hosts are her friends, she shouldn't have to cut back or give an equal number of invites to my mother-in-law.

It's too late for my mother-in-law to host a shower now because she already bought us an expensive piece of furniture for the nursery in lieu of a shower.  I think my mother is being unreasonable and petty, but does she have a good point? What is the fair thing to do here?

rcanales

IMO, just because they are your mother's friends doesn't mean she has "rights" to more invites. If she's not paying for it then she doesn't have a say so. I have the kind of relationship with my mom that I can flat out tell her "too bad, this is how it is.", but if you don't maybe you can tell her, that is the amount she gets for now and if MIL has a shorter list then you can pass them along to her.  Also, take into consideration its rare for 100% of a guest list to show up.  So if she sends out a couple extra she'll probably come in even.  

salbert79

I think your mom is being petty about things. I'd go with what pp said. Maybe tell her how many invites she gets without telling her how many invites MIL gets?

debdebtx

That is tough. My suggestion would be to ask your mother in law if she would like to host a sip n see after your little one arrives. It doesn't have to be more than opening her home for a couple of hours to show off her new grand baby to her friends. No decorations needed, no games, and really no food needed, just your hubby, you and your baby allowing her friends to come ooh and aah over you and your baby. That should satisfy everyone. Tell her honestly, that there is a limited amount of room and that you are thankful that she wants to do something to celebrate. Or better yet, you host a sip and see for her friends to come by. Just put out some punch and a plate of cookies and allow her to invite her friends. Good luck.

txmorris3

Thanks all for the advice!