Hey guys,
Did anyone else get pregnant before marriage? I am going to be 39 this week, DBF is 38. We are together a year and it happened. I'm grateful as we were going to start a family at some point but friends and some family keep asking "When are you getting married". My future MIL told us she was very unhappy with our decision to wait until after the baby is born-and later apolgized cause she knew we were pissed. Although we are going to do a justice of the peace ceremony so as to be married prior-then hopefully next December have a church ceremony with a reception. I have been married before but DBF wanted a big reception so I don't see why we can't do it after the baby is born. My future MIL wanted me to plan a wedding in 6 weeks, meanwhile I've had awful morning sickness and feel yuck. And I was bleeding at one point. We decided it was more important to take care of me and the baby than plan a wedding. I just get tired of the questions. Sorry for the rant.
Re: Preggo before Marriage
Marriage is not a necessary part of having a baby. It is a choice that should not be rushed into, nor should anyone make you feel guilty for not being married. The important thing is that you and the daddy-to-be are in a stable, loving relationship and that you both are ready to bring a baby into that relationship.
Congrats!
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
Thanks for the support guys! I feel the same way! We had intended on getting married in 2012 anyways and the baby came along. I think future MIL is worried about what people will think--funny thing is she was preggo at 19 and got married real quick. But times were different back then and she can't expect her son to do the same thing. I'm so grateful for DBF and what we share and I look forward to our future together. I guess I just need to ignore any comments, especially from his Mom. She has already said things in the past that don't make me happy and I try to put it aside so I don't cause myself any undue stress. But when she pulled this crap I told him he needed to talk to her and apparently she apologized first cause she saw my reaction to her statement. She is going to learn real soon that we are not kids and can make our own decisions. My fam is behind me 100 percent so I'm lucky for that. I really appreciate these boards! Thanks for your feedback!
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I got pregnant with my first child before I was married. I was with my (at that time boyfriend, now husband) for about 2.5 years when we got pregnant. My mom wanted us to get married immediately also, but understood why I didn't want to. IT was a first time marriage for both of us, and we didn't want to rush it. He propsed to me when our son was 3 months old, and we were married when he was almost a year and a half - he was our ring bearer and I wouldn't have had it any other way!
My fiance's sister and her (now) husband didn't get married till their first child was almost six months. One of my cousin's got married fully popped and very preggo and she still wore a white dress and did the whole she-bang.
Close your ears to anyone who is trying to rush you into your wedding. Choose when you want to get married and how you want your ceremony to be and stick to your guns. Do what's best for your partner and you and your baby, and then, that's all that matters.
My BFF and her boyfriend/daughter's father decided very purposefully not to get married now. They had only been together a few months, and though they are quite the darling family, wanted to make sure they were making every decision for the right reasons. I respect that SO much.
Congrats to you!
This. DH and I have been together almost 11 years, we have no plans to get married anywhere in the future. To us all marriage is is a piece of paper stating the 2 of you are legally married, and really nothing else. We have 2 kids together, and really will only get married if our kids really want us to.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>Similar situation, I found out I was pregnant 2 days after my bachelorette party...3 weeks before my wedding. Get married when and how you want, I just would steer clear of the 2 ceremonies, unless one is strictly you, your significant other and both sets of parents.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
We are not married. We are not even engaged. My boyfriend and I decided to try for children before we got married. It might be a little backwards but we are both widows so nothing about our lives are "normal" anyway. Everyone has been nothing but happy for us. I expect we will get married (I know he is ring shopping) but it will be a JOP wedding...like I said this isnt our first rodeo and we don't want to spend a ton of money, we are saving it for "spud"
Congrats on your pregnancy!
I met my husband 13 years ago. We have only been married 1 1/2 years. We moved in together, then built a new house, got engaged, got pregnant, had a baby and then tied to knot. We are still needing to go on our honeymoon
I believe, however it works out for you is the right way for you.
~ Miscarry at 8 weeks with D&C in May 2011 (low progesterone).
~ Had a healthy baby girl in June 2012 via C-Section (on prometrium to sustain).
~ Surprise pregnancy at age 40! Baby boy due April 26, 2021 (took prometrium to sustain once pregnancy was confirmed, 3rd C-Section planned).
EXACTLY! Damn...now I dont have anything to say LOL
Me and the BF are not married...probably wont be for a while. But it's ok with us and our friends and family. We have known eachother for almost 14 years but just recently got together...and BAM were pregnant! I dont think theres anything wrong with having a baby before your married. Some people dont see it that way, but hey...they arent the ones in your relationship right? So I say wait till your baby is here. You have enough to worry about without having to deal with planning a wedding. Good Luck to you.
Congratulations!! So I'm finding it more and more common for people to start questions marraige with a couple when having a child. You are not doing a single thing wrong! It is your choice and your decision to do what you want with your life. I've been with my fiance for 13 years. I have no intention of marrying him, altough when we first started dating I wanted the big fairy tale wedding. Now I just want the happy family without the added stress that a marriage puts on people.
I too am tired of asking and wish there was a polite way to tell them to mind their business lol
Thanks for all the advice and support..I wish you all the best of luck and congrats on your pregnancies as well!
Make a pregnancy ticker