"Well that sucks"

+j+k+

DH's grandmother has been in the hospital for the past month and pretty sick. Today she was put in hospice and will probably pass in the next week or two. DH is very heartbroken. She was like a mother to him and he loves her dearly.  He was her favorite and spoiled him when he was a child.

SD knows this and how much grandmother means to DH.

DH is near tears telling SD that she is passing soon - and her response?

A long pause - long enough that DH says "hello" because he thought he may have lost her and then "Well that sucks" like he was telling her he lost $100.  She was more supportive and cried when our dog died. 

Ugh.  I don't get his family.  They are all so cold.

Littlejen22

wendilea:

I'm sorry she couldn't be more compassionate in your husband's time of need.  She is immature, maybe she just didn't know how to react or what to say?

I am sorry for your family.  I have to agree with Wendilea though, I think that is a common reaction from someone that is not mature enough to know how to respond.  Hugs

+j+k+

I've seen her get hysterical over a cat dying.    I don't think it's solely immaturity. I think it's a combination of her BPD and the inability to be compassionate for others.   She's showing some narcisstic tendencies again. 

Ugh. Whatever.

I have to focus on DH.  I can't worry about her anymore.  There's bigger crap going on with his uncle, aunt, great aunt and mother.  They are already foolishly fighting over stupid sh*t.  I'm sickened by how petty they are all being and heartbroken for Grandmother.  I am happy she will soon be at peace with her husband.

MrsBPO

I have to disagree.  A cat or dog is different from a family member dying or being in pain.  She can cry over a cat because the feelings aren't as deep as her father mourning the loss of a close family member.  She doesn't have to analyze a cat dying or wonder if what she says or does when a dog dies would have any effect.  And she doesn't have to delve into herself and her own feelings when a pet dies vs. when her grandmother dies or her father's heartt is hurting.  She doesn't have to feel or think or react when a pet dies beyond the moment.  She doesn't know how to deal with her feelings and emotions, so she doesn't.  She skates over them.

NikkiJ19

MrsBPO:

I have to disagree.  A cat or dog is different from a family member dying or being in pain.  She can cry over a cat because the feelings aren't as deep as her father mourning the loss of a close family member.  She doesn't have to analyze a cat dying or wonder if what she says or does when a dog dies would have any effect.  And she doesn't have to delve into herself and her own feelings when a pet dies vs. when her grandmother dies or her father's heartt is hurting.  She doesn't have to feel or think or react when a pet dies beyond the moment.  She doesn't know how to deal with her feelings and emotions, so she doesn't.  She skates over them.

I agree with this. Sometimes even at 31 I can get weird about things like this with my parents. It wasn't as bad as SD but I was really "odd and removed" when my paternal grandfather passed away. Dealing with my dads emotions and my emotions was really overwhelming for me even in my 20s.