Two Under 2

Did LO#1 visit you and #2 in the hospital?

My parents plan on watching DD1 while I'm in the hospital, but my mom is hesitant to let her see me while I'm there. She thinks that it will be upsetting and confusing for her to see me with wires hooked up to me and then having to leave and me not come with her. Obviously I understand where she is coming from, but it is extremely important to me to include DD in all of this and I absolutely want her to be the first to meet her new sister. I know my mom doesn't want to deal with her crying or anything, but I kind of think she should suck it up and deal with it. I mean, come on, I'm the one pushing out a baby! So, my questions are: Did #1 come see you with #2 in the hospital and if so when (before and after delivery, just after) and how did it go? Thanks so much. It's getting close and I'm freaking myself out! haha
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Re: Did LO#1 visit you and #2 in the hospital?

  • My parents brought DS1 into that the delivery room....and yeah, he was a bit freaked out. Once I moved to the post partum room, he was much better -- not so much scary medical equipment and such. But the delivery room was definitely pretty overwhelming for him. He kept pointing to my IV and saying "ouch!"

    ETA-- obviously he wasn't in the delivery room for the birth...they brought him in shortly after. Still scary for him though!
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  • nope - we were discharged after about 26 hours (DS2 born at 11am on a Thursday, we were home by 2pm on Friday).  DS1 stayed in daycare until 5pm on Thursday, then my MIL picked him up and spent the night at our house with him and got him to daycare, then he was home at 5pm on Friday. 

    we tried to keep things as 'normal' as possible for him and stick to his routine.

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  • Yes, DD came to see me when I had DS1. She spent the day with my parents and then came to the hospital around 6 or 7pm (I had DS just after 1pm). She had no issues except wanting DS' bottle. I wanted her there. I needed to include her and let her meet her brother.

    However, she went home with DH around 8pm. We wanted to keep her night time routine the same and I was sending DS to the nursery so it's not like I really needed DH there to help me.

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    I could never regret this moment. DD and DS will visit me in the hospital when I have DS2.

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  • Nope I left DS1 at home with my parents.  He wasn't one yet so I don't think he would have even had a concept of what was going on.  When we brought DS2 home, he took a look and then went back to playing.  It would have been nice to have a warm fuzzy family moment, but I think he was just way too young.
  • I had a c/s , DS came to visit me in recovery : )
  • Yes - I had DD at 6pm, so DS came the next day with my parents to visit.  I no longer had any IVs or anything scary.  I was just sitting in bed with my clothes on.  I was holding DD when he came in, and so he wanted nothing to do with me for the first 15-20 minutes of the visit.  But then he was happy to give me hugs, etc.  

    I was happy to see him - I missed him! 

    TTC#1 = Success on Cycle#19 with Clomid/trigger/b2b IUIs; beta#1 (15dpiui) 200, #2 (18dpiui) 433, #3 (22dpiui) 2356; TTC#2 = Surprise BFP 9/2009; TTC#3 = m/c at 6 wks, 10/29/11; BFP#2 4/1/2012... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DS did come to visit me when DD was born, my mom brought him. He did fine with it but I was a mess. I hated saying good-bye to him and having to stay at the hospital. I guess I was very emotional at the time but that part was really hard for me. Instead of my mom leaving with him, DH took him home. We thought it would be too hard for him to leave without at least one of us.
  • I read a lot about it before labor. We did not bring DD. It's a lot harder for a child that young to leave you at the hospital with another baby, it gives them feelings of jealousy & envy, sometimes anger toward the baby instead of joy & love. Its also best if the baby is in the bassinet or someone else besides mommy is holding #2 when #1 meets them. This helps a lot in the acceptance of the new baby by the sibling.
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  • My mom brought my DD to the hospital the day after DS was born (he was born at 10:24pm). I thought it wuoold be horrible but I needed to see my girl. She was AMAZING! Was quiet, played nicely and didn't freak out when she left like I thought she would. She never got to meet DS though because he was in the special care nursery and later got transferred to a different hospital. I don't think it would have made a difference though.

    She was 13.5 months at the time... 

    SAHM to the sweetest little girl and boy... I love my job!

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  • imageRaffes484:

    Yes, DD came to see me when I had DS1. She spent the day with my parents and then came to the hospital around 6 or 7pm (I had DS just after 1pm). She had no issues except wanting DS' bottle. I wanted her there. I needed to include her and let her meet her brother.

    However, she went home with DH around 8pm. We wanted to keep her night time routine the same and I was sending DS to the nursery so it's not like I really needed DH there to help me.

    image

    I could never regret this moment. DD and DS will visit me in the hospital when I have DS2.

    This photo has me on the brink of tears. Precious.

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  • DH brought her to see me while I was in labor (he made a run home to pick her up and take her to daycare and brought her by the hospital first much to my surprise). If he had asked me I would have told him not to but she turned out to be fine and not bothered by it. She was in the waiting room when DS was born but we didn't have her come in and meet him that evening since it was past her bedtime and we figured better do introductions when she is rested. She and DH did make two trips up to see me the next day and again she was fine and didn't mind leaving me but she is a pretty independent kid.
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  • I had my DS via a c section on a Monday and we waited for my DD to come until Weds..I wanted to have all the tubes, catheter... and IV off so I could get up and see her.  We kept the same routine for her. she was used to my dad with morning routine.. then my sister would take her mid day.. until the evening when my DH would pick her up and spend the night with her at home.  and she'd wake up to my DH and my dad would  come over early...

    I say it depends on what type of delivery you have.. if  you end up with a csection.. you won't want her to see you with IV, etc.. you're giong to want to pick her up (like I did on painkillers!!) and hug/kiss her.

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  • no because I thought she was too young and wouldn't understand "you only see mommy for a little bit and then leave without her" I knew that would cause a massive tantrum. We had my mom stay home with her and keep her on a routine. 

    I had DS at 2am and was released at 5pm that same day. (my ped and OB knew my situation and everyone was in good health).  

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  • DD1 was there when they started my induction, but left before baby arrived. She came back the next day and stayed most of it. 
  • Yes, my oldest visited me every day. Not for very long, because she wasn't that into sitting still, but she did come every day and didn't seem freaked out by all the stuff going on.

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  • My parents brought DD1 up to see us for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half the day after DD2 was born. I missed DD1 and wanted to see her, and it was important to me to include her in everything with DD2 from the beginning. She was about a week and a half shy of 19 months at the time, and did great at the hospital. I didn't have an IV anymore, and she was climbing in and out of bed with me and eating cookies in between pointing out all of her sister's body parts, LOL. She was fine when it was time to leave.

    I'm really glad we had her come. I liked that she met DD2 on "neutral" territory, instead of us just bringing a baby into her house (since we moved to our new house this summer she thinks she's the queen of the castle :P)

    Mama to two sweet girls
    DD1 Feb 2010
    DD2 Sept 2011


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  • With DS, I was in the hospital about 26 hrs but ILs still brought DD#1 (19 months at the time) to the hospital.  We were worried about her being upset or not wanting to leave but it went fine.  She was so excited to see me and fascinated with her new baby brother! 

    When it was time to leave, DH walked them out to the car and put her in her car seat and she was fine. 

    When DD#2 arrived, DD#1 was 5 and DS was 3 1/2 so it wasn't as big of an issue when they came to visit.

    This time, DD#1 will be 7, DS will be 5 1/2, and DD#2 will be 25 months.  I am going to have DH go home to get them and we will all go home together (MIL will be visiting with us).  That way they get to be the first to meet baby and we will arrive at home together to introduce baby to MIL and SIL's family.  (Assuming, like all my other hospital stays, that I am only there 24-28 hrs).

     

    DD#1 11/7/04 DS#1 6/24/06 Chemical Pregnancy 6/08 DD#2 1/28/10 after secondary infertility, Clomid, & acupuncture missed m/c 6/2010 at 8 weeks (baby stopped growing @ 5.5) DS born sleeping 1/13/2011 due to cord accident at 22 weeks. DD#3 3/10/2012
  • Yup. My family surprised me and brought her into  the room when her sister  was a few minutes old. We'd been talking about the baby for a while and I was very pleasantly surprised when Julia walked into the room, saw the baby in my arms, smiled huge and screamed "baby shisha (sister) Emma!!!!" She totally understood what was going on and I'm so glad she was a part of that moment. She visited the next day and came with DH when he came to bring me home because I felt that was a family moment and the whole family should be there.
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  • We waited until the baby was born and then my MIL brought DD to the hosptial to meet her new baby brother.  She was only 14 months old and it would have been too much for her to wait it out at the hospital until he was born.  It was also in the middle of the night when we went to the hospital.  I would say wait until the baby is born to get her to meet the new baby.
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  • Thank you so much for all of your input ladies. Chrissie: that picture is the cutest thing ever and makes me really want to have DD come visit! I think I've decided to wait for her to come in until after I've had the baby, let her get comfortable and then bring the baby in from the nursery and hope for the best! Thanks again :)
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  • Yes, LO#1 came to visit me and meet LO#2 in the hospital. It was important to me to allow DS to be the first person to meet DD. I'm thankful to have had that moment as a family.

    I had a scheduled c/s and had to be in L&D at 5am. We dropped off DS at my parent's house the night before. As soon as he woke up they fed him breakfast and brought him to the hospital. He got to see me before I went into the OR. I had an IV, but was able to get up, walk, and even hold him. In my opinion and IV isn't scary unless you make it scary. My parents chose to stay until DD was born. As soon as the nurse went out to let them know what everything went well and that we were fine my parents took DS back to their house for a nap. By the time he nap was over I was just about to be moved to a regular room. My parents brought DS back to the hospital to meet his sister. It wasn't until after that DD was taken to the nursery to be bathed and checked by our pediatrician. It really was a great time of bonding.

    We plan to do everything the same way with future children.

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  • Yep!

    My mom brought DC1 up around an hour later for maybe 30ish minutes. Then brought them back again the next day for another hour or so. It was perfect! I had a great L&D with DC2 and was really excited for them to meet :)

    DC1 (2.5) | DC2 (1) | #3 due 6.1.2012
  • My parents brought DS1 to the hospital the day DS2 was born.  It was after we had settled into the post partum room, and I don't think he noticed the IV in my arm.  That's the only "wire" I was hooked up to.  He was happy to see us and was confused by where we were, but wasn't upset by it or upset when he left.  It was important to me that he come see us and meet his brother.  I missed him so much already, and seeing him made that time even more special.
    After 2 years and 6 IUIs, we did it with IVF w/ ICSI!
    BFP with no treatment!
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  • My parents watched DS while I was in the hospital to have DD.  I had a c/s first thing in the morning, and then they waited to bring DS in to visit until after his afternoon nap.  He was actually fine and it didn't seem to phase him that I had an IV, etc..  It was nice for me (and DH) to have some time to rest before he visited too.
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  • DD was born Sunday night via c section. DS came and visited us the next morning. He was kind of confused and upset because I couldn't hold him :( 
    BFP #1 6/21/08 natural m/c 7/4/08 BFP #2 10/3/08 blighted ovum discovered 11/5/08 D&C 11/13/08 dx with hetero MTHFR 1/7/09 BFP #3 7/1/09 DS born 3/7/10 BFP #4 1/27/10 DD born 9/4/11 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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