Family / loss drama - need suggestion
roxyttandme
member
So, as I posted below my dad has been in the hospital for quite a while now. He has three biological children; one in NC that he speaks with on the phone once a month and two local that just until recently he has had contact with after near to 20 years of none.
The daughter in NC and I were in contact when our dad (technically my step dad and her biological) was critical and we were thinking he wasn't going to make it. My mom and I were posting updates on his health on facebook for friends and family. His daughter (I will refer to b!tch as "D") asked me to stop posting medical info on fb and that our dad wouldn't like it. He husband then sent me a fb message say that if I knew him like he did, I would know he wouldn't want personal info posted (he never even met my dad before -just talked on the phone! and he raised me since I was 5). I spoke w/ my mom and confirmed that he wouldn't care if we posted and we both decided to keep friends and other family member updated via fb. D, flipped out! She called me the "c" word and my DH caught wind and blew her up in defense of me. She then sent my DH about 7 texts calling us "dead baby having mother f-ers" twice! We didn't communicate with her thereafter and really came to the conclusion that her throwing the fact that we lost our daughter was pathetic and we pitied her. She disgraced herself and we weren't going to add fuel to the fire.
Anyway, my dad is now able to talk again and he asked my mom why his daughter "D" hasn't contacted him. My mom told him what she said to us and my dad took our side. I know he is mortified that she would throw Haleigh in our face.He loves Haleigh too. It know it breaks his heart to hear this! My mom texted D and asked her what she would like her to tell dad why she hasn't called. She lit up my mom's phone talking trash and calling names. My mom blocked her number.
This is my fear, D will call him while he still has about 2-3 more months in the hospital left and dumb all this drama on his lap. He just doesn't need to hear it. He doesn't need her to give him her verbal diarrhea of pathetic crap! I don't know how to protect my dad and I can't get involved cause it will open the door for her to attack me again. I am not afraid of her - I pity her. I think she is pathetic and a psychopath. I am not affaid of confortation at the least. But how do I protect my dad? He isn't strong enough to deal with this and he just doesn't need it! We can't block her from calling the hospital and asking for his room or calling the house when he does get home.
Suggestion?
Re: Family / loss drama - need suggestion
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
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BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
Wow. I can't believe she said that to you! I'm so sorry you had to even hear those words. I personally think she needs to spend the rest of her time with your dad and hopefully she will not bring up your situation. You can deal with her (or not) on your guys' own terms. I personally would not even give her the time of day. She does not deserve it. I would just ignore her and avoid her, even around your father. Sorry if that's no help. And again, so sorry you have to deal with this!
The garbage that came out of her mind didn't hurt us although it was intended to. We aren't giving her any attention what so ever. What I am worried about is pushing all this on our dad. He needs to heal and get stronger - not have his daughter break his heart. When it comes down to it - he knows she took this to the Nth degree and crossed a major line. He was sickened when my mom told him. I can't imagine what it will be like when D gets him on the phone and starts ranting and raving. I feel need to protect him from that - at least until he is stronger and out of the hospital. Again, he will be in for another couple months most likely so by no means is he strong right now.
You definitely have a step-monster! You know your Dad far better than any of his other children, so do what you think is right. No one that is suffering should have to endure any additional drama because she can't get her act together and not act like a hateful brat. GL, and I hope whatever happens is the best it can be.