Guest List question — The Bump
Baby Showers

Guest List question

My bff (who is throwing my shower) is coming over on Sunday to talk about the shower and so that I can give her my guest list. My bridal shower wasn't all that long ago, so I'm thinking the guest list will be very similar. However, my mom has told me she would be fine with less of her friends being invited this time around since she knows I want a more intimate shower with just my closest friends and family. 

That being said, I'm thinking about not inviting several members of DH's extended family. They are his 3rd cousins, and we're not close with them. They didn't attend (or even RSVP for) my bridal shower. Would it be ok to not invite them to the baby shower? I don't want to upset my MIL (she wouldn't make a big deal about it, but she would definitely ask me about it) or cause hurt feelings. I just want a nice, small baby shower brunch and am trying to reign in the guest list. 

Thanks in advance for your help :) 

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DS born 3.12 
DD born 7.14

Re: Guest List question

  • I see no harm in not inviting 3rd cousins ... especially if they showed no interest in your bridal shower.
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  • I don't see any harm in not inviting them but I am a bit confused.  If they didn't come to your bridal shower, or even RSVP how would it really help to cut them out for your baby shower.  Couldn't you invite them and just expect them not to come, still keeping your shower small and intimate? 
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  • image momamatthews:
    I don't see any harm in not inviting them but I am a bit confused.  If they didn't come to your bridal shower, or even RSVP how would it really help to cut them out for your baby shower.  Couldn't you invite them and just expect them not to come, still keeping your shower small and intimate? 

    I've thought about it. But they have attended my SIL's bridal and baby showers and I'm wondering if it was just a fluke that they missed my bridal shower (or maybe they just secretly hate me lol) 

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    DS born 3.12 
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  • If you don't talk to them, I wouldn't invite them.  I had a small shower and 2nd cousins were invited but I am in contact with all of them. 

  • image iluvmylab:
    If you don't talk to them, I wouldn't invite them.  I had a small shower and 2nd cousins were invited but I am in contact with all of them. 

    We see them maybe a few times a year. Sometimes just on Christmas Eve. 

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    DS born 3.12 
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  • I only invited our closest cousins...so I would leave them off the list.  Just invite who you are closest too.
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  • What you need to do first is talk to your friend about what she can afford to throw.  SHE actually determines how many people you can invite!  It's not her responsibility to throw a huge shower where you invite "everyone".

    So... yes, you can limit your guest list.  Plus, past that, showers really are supposed to be for your closest family and friends.  They aren't supposed to be "invite everyone you know" events.  And your wedding shower guest list has nothing to do w/ your baby shower guest list.

    IF your MIL gets upset, all you need to say is that you're keeping this baby shower smaller and more intimate.  Even say that due to your hostesses budget, you can't invite extended family.  If your MIL REALLY wants her extended family, she can also step up and offer to throw a shower for her side of the family.  Again- it's not your friends responsibility to accomodate "everyone".

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  • 3rd cousins?   Jeez I don't even know if I have 3rd cousins.  I would leave people that far extended off the list.
  • I wouldn't think twice about inviting "extended extended" family, especially if you don't have a close relationship w/them. Heck, I have a huge family and only invited the ones who I have close relationships with, which meant not inviting more than half of my aunts and 1st cousins, lol! Your shower should be about who you want there and not who you feel is an obligation to invite. If your MIL questions you about it, you can simply say that you just wanted a small shower. 
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  • If your not close to them, don't invite them.  We always stop at first cousins in my family.  And like ECB said, it's up to your host to tell you how many she can afford to invite.
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