Only you guys would understand ... — The Bump
Military Families

Only you guys would understand ...

Me and my DH always seem to get into the weirdest time crunches when it comes to his deployments.  Last year when he was deployed it was a bit more serious, as far as getting him home to see our daughter who was born with a heart defect who we ended up losing after 6 weeks.  Thinking he'd have more then 12 months of dwell time, we decided to try and have another baby.  Well, it worked and we are SOO blessed to know that we are having another baby girl, healthy, without heart defect.  BUT, My due date is November 26th.  The crunch comes in that if I have her naturally before December 1st, he leaves with the main body in December, leaving less then 2 weeks of bonding time.  Since I had a c-section with DD, I am able to have a c-section giving them another week together.  I just didnt want to have another c-section.  Long stay in hosptial, longer recovery, ect.  If I chose to go naturally and DD comes after Dec 1st, DH gets to stay back for an undisclosed amount of time.  Could be days, could be weeks.  Of course, I wish I had a crystal ball along with my Military Wife/Mother title ...

Just curious what you ladies would do out of curiosity.  Have a c-section when you'd rather not to guarantee more time for DH and DD to bond before a 12 month deployment?  Or, wait it out to go naturally--hoping to go past your due date by 5 days so that your husband can stay back, but for a unknown amount of time-days/weeks? 

Thanks ladies! 

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Re: Only you guys would understand ...

  • I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter.   With your DD1, did you have a scheduled c-section due to her heart defect or did you have problems with your labor that caused the docs to do a c-section?  I'm usually very pro-vaginal birth, but I think if I were in your shoes, I'd choose the repeat c-section.  They'd probably do it at 39 weeks and then you and your DH would get two weeks with the baby.  I'd rather mentally prepare for him being home for two weeks than continue to worry about him only getting a day or two with the baby.
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  • I would not have the c-section unless the doctor absolutely forced me. 
    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
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  • imageNavyPilotWife:
    With your DD1, did you have a scheduled c-section due to her heart defect or did you have problems with your labor that caused the docs to do a c-section? 

    We had a scheduled induction because of her heart defect and the need to cordinate the proper OB staffing to accomodate her.  It ended in an emergency c-section when they broke my water and the cord came down in front of her head, cutting off her supply. 

    Thanks for your input, ladies!

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  • That is tough one. I would say c-section, I had one too, you can rest comfortably at home while he and the baby bond. As you know nothing in the military is guranteed so I would take what they can offer and not let the unknow seem more appealing.
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  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. 

    In your shoes, I would still go for the VBAC. I'm generally of the mindset that sections should be avoided unless they're absolutely necessary. Also, if you'll potentially be alone with LO shortly after birth, I'd opt for the vaginal since you're likely to feel better faster.  

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  • I am so sorry for your loss. 

    I would let things go naturally.  As a mom, I can tell you the baby won't recall any of that bonding time.  The few days your husband can get with her will really only be for him.  While he is gone, Skype with him as much as possible.  Baby will hear his voice and eventually be able to see him on the screen.  They can get bonding time that way. Anything with a voice recorder is great.  There are recordable books and stuffed animals with voice recorders.  You can play those for her durring the times when communication isn't great.  She'll know his voice and his face when he comes home.  Bonding when he gets back will be that much easier when he gets back.  GL

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  • I'm so sorry about the loss of your first daughter---I can't even imagine what that has been like for you and your husband.

     I would not have a c-section for the birth of your daughter unless it becomes medically necessary.

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