Baby shower gift drama.... — The Bump
Baby Showers

Baby shower gift drama....

I'm 30 years old. Honest to god, I thought I was done with facebook drama.

But here goes....

My SIL is having a baby shower in a few weeks. I spent about $300 on nice classic children's books, and a bunch of stuff from her registry. The gift is wrapped and ready to go.

Today I was creeping on facebook and saw a comment SIL made one of her friend's wall:

The friend's comment was: HATE KNOW-IT-ALL PEOPLE!!!!!

My SIL commented with: "tell me about it...my sister in law is a lawyer FML"

It's not that I give a *** what SIL thinks of me, I just no longer want to give her such an expensive gift anymore since she's such a *** for saying that.

Part of me wants to unwrap the gift, take half the stuff out, and then give her just generic stuff off her baby registry.

The other part of me is telling me to rise above, and that the gift isn't for her, it's for my niece anyway.

I don't know.. what would you do? 

Re: Baby shower gift drama....

  • Go ahead and give her the gifts. But maybe write something on the card like, "Sometimes having a SIL who's a lawyer is a good thing." =) If she realizes you're referring to that comment, she'll probably realize her error. Don't go without saying anything if it's bothering you. 
    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/1hqs6b.jpg[/IMG]

    <a href="http://daisypath.com/"><img src="http://davf.daisypath.com/4Zhwm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Daisypath Anniversary tickers" /></a>

    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lpmf.lilypie.com/DNV2m4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Premature Baby tickers" /></a>


    <a href="http://pinterest.com/leeshapesh09/"><img src="http://passets-lt.pinterest.com/images/about/buttons/pinterest-button.png" width="80" height="28" alt="Follow Me on Pinterest" /></a>



    [url]www.Onabreath.com[/url]


    [url]www.Elliot365.wordpress.com[/url]
  • I would still give the gift since, like you said, it is actually for your niece's use.

    I wouldn't write anything in the card but before the shower date I would make her aware that you read what she wrote and didn't appreciate it.  Hopefully she will apologize and things will smooth over.  If she doesn't she'll feel like an azz when she opens her gifts from you (and she'll deserve to feel like one!).

  • Loading the player...
  • What is so wrong about being a lawyer?!! You are a "know it all" because you are smart and know "things" others don't??! Man! Sucks to be you ;) She is just jealous!! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • First of all, I hate the term "FML" People who use it really use it for the stupidest things and I just think it's so ungrateful. I never see it used like "my entire family just died of the plague...FML." To me, that would be appropriate! All I ever see is like "I just stubbed my toe...FML."

    Ummm...anyway...

    So...she hates having a lawyer in the family, huh? I bet that won't stop her for running to you for free medical advice if she ever needs it. 

    That being said, I would leave the gift as is. You're right, it is for your niece. 

  • You should definitely say something to her about the comment.  That is just crappy, especially since you are family.  Just say that it showed up in the news feed and you were a little offended by it. 

    Give the baby the gifts as you had planned, they are for the baby technically, not her.  Plus you can do it to support your hubby's family, no matter how rude his sister is.  :-)  You did nothing wrong!  Just be the best auntie you can be and all will be well. 

    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tools/tickers/tt5d45c.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0" /></a>

    http://tinyurl.com/racheljustin - Our Planning/Wedding Site

    [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
    [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10769;443/st/20120114/n/Andrew/k/e682/age.png[/img]
    [/url]
  • imageallisonmarie22:

    So...she hates having a lawyer in the family, huh? I bet that won't stop her for running to you for free medical advice if she ever needs it. 

    Um, what?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • SERIOUSLY?? RETURN THE BOOKS and give her the dumbed down stuff she wants from her registry.  She's clearly not going to appreciate or perhaps even read the books to your niece/nephew!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagedragon_chica:
    imageallisonmarie22:

    So...she hates having a lawyer in the family, huh? I bet that won't stop her for running to you for free medical advice if she ever needs it. 

    Um, what?

    I meant free legal advice...obviously.  Oops.

  • Ok, I think the SIL needs to be punished, and this is how I would recommend it.   The day before the shower, mention to her (on facebook) you "read on facebook what she wrote about you".    Leave it at that.  Show up at the shower with all the gifts in tow and be as sweet and nice as you can possibly be.   With all seriousness, she will be feeling like crap and dreading her shower for the whole 24 hours before.  Yes, I am evil.
    If the house ain't burned down and the baby's fed it was a successful day. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageBrendaLou1969:
    Ok, I think the SIL needs to be punished, and this is how I would recommend it.   The day before the shower, mention to her (on facebook) you "read on facebook what she wrote about you".    Leave it at that.  Show up at the shower with all the gifts in tow and be as sweet and nice as you can possibly be.   With all seriousness, she will be feeling like crap and dreading her shower for the whole 24 hours before.  Yes, I am evil.

    And sign the card "with love from Auntie Know-It-All"  Wink

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPicAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • I'd give her a smaller gift.  right now, the gifts ARE for the parents when it really comes down to it.  Your SIL isn't going to appreciate the gifts and your neice, when she gets older, will probably never know you gave her those books.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I probably would of replied to that post.  But just putting "what?!" or something simple like that.  Just to let her know you saw it and she should be more carefull in the future.  Sad she put it to begin with though.  I wouldn't make too much of a big deal, but would want her to know that you saw it.
    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/213equf.jpg[/IMG]

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/ttfc3e1.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt15fea0.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • imageBitsKD13:

    imageBrendaLou1969:
    Ok, I think the SIL needs to be punished, and this is how I would recommend it.   The day before the shower, mention to her (on facebook) you "read on facebook what she wrote about you".    Leave it at that.  Show up at the shower with all the gifts in tow and be as sweet and nice as you can possibly be.   With all seriousness, she will be feeling like crap and dreading her shower for the whole 24 hours before.  Yes, I am evil.

    And sign the card "with love from Auntie Know-It-All"  Wink

    I like these Ideas. Or you could just pull her aside at some point after she opens the gifts and say, the gift I gave is what I think of you. It really hurts that you don't think much of me back.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • imagebrendisima:
    SERIOUSLY?? RETURN THE BOOKS and give her the dumbed down stuff she wants from her registry.  She's clearly not going to appreciate or perhaps even read the books to your niece/nephew!

    This.

    Plus, try to see the FB thing as a blessing.  Now you really know how she feels about you.  I know you don't care, but knowledge is power right?  Knowing this will help you make decisions regarding your interactions (and gifts) in the future.

  • imageEastCoastBride:
    I'd give her a smaller gift.  right now, the gifts ARE for the parents when it really comes down to it.  Your SIL isn't going to appreciate the gifts and your neice, when she gets older, will probably never know you gave her those books.

    I agree.  Put the books aside and give them to your neice on her 5th birthday.

    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickersDaisypath Happy Birthday tickersPitaPata Cat tickers

    image

  • I'd approach her directly before the shower and discuss the comment.  Regardless of the upcoming shower it's rude for her to publicly dis you like that.  Based upon that conversation, I'd decide about the gift!
  • imageAliciaS1411:
    Go ahead and give her the gifts. But maybe write something on the card like, "Sometimes having a SIL who's a lawyer is a good thing." =) If she realizes you're referring to that comment, she'll probably realize her error. Don't go without saying anything if it's bothering you. 

    This ha ha 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm confrontational, so I'd call her out on it long before the gift giving. :)
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • imageallisonmarie22:
    imagedragon_chica:
    imageallisonmarie22:

    So...she hates having a lawyer in the family, huh? I bet that won't stop her for running to you for free medical advice if she ever needs it. 

    Um, what?

    I meant free legal advice...obviously.  Oops.

    I figured as much.  I just thought it was funny.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • wow... my first thought is - take that $hit back!! lol but i understand what you mean. so definitely still gift-give your original gift to the baby.

    With that said, my Fi would definitely have written something back in return and i would likely say something too. it'd definitely rude. definitely mention something or have your SO take care of it. 

    If you are that hurt over the comment, maybe just send the gift and not attend the shower?

    ~*~ Sorry for any typo's. Replying from an Android device. ~*~


    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/dq66tg.png[/IMG]
  • 1
                                    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I would return the extras and give her some generic crap off her registry.  I have no tolerance for bad behavior and people talking shlt behind my back..eff her.  It's already affecting her child and she hasn't even given birth yet.  Honestly I would have trouble even making it to her shower after I saw those comments.  If she doesn't like you and is dumb enough to make it apparent on FB of all places then I wouldn't care to be around her.
  • Wow, your sil isn't too bright is she ?  Books might be a bit of a waste huh ? 
  • imagegracefulruby33:
    I would give the gift that you originally got her. She'll be super grateful for the generous gift, probably feel bad about what she said, and you'll look like the better person anyway. If it still bothers you a week or two after the shower, then I would confront her about it privately. Don't make a scene at the shower in front of her friends and fam. :-

    I agree with this exactly, although I personally don't know if I would have the will power to wait until a few weeks after the baby shower to talk to her about it. I can imagine how hurt and upset you must be. Even if you don't care what she thinks of you personally, it's never a good feeling to have someone say such mean things about you (especially a family member). Your gift sounds incredibly thoughtful and I think you should just go ahead and give it. Even if she isn't grateful, you are the better person. And like PP's said, now you truly know how she feels... no need to buy anymore expensive gifts in the future.

    [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/jii4bq.jpg[/IMG]

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt131d4d.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • imageslyrose123:
    What is so wrong about being a lawyer?!! You are a "know it all" because you are smart and know "things" others don't??! Man! Sucks to be you ;) She is just jealous!! 

    This!!! And I would definitely mention it to her.

    image
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Thanks everyone. I love my little unborn niece already, and I don't want to bring drama to her shower. (Yes, I know the shower is for my SIL, but we're celebrating the little baby), so I'm sticking with my original gift.

    I didn't want to get involved. I really have no respect for SIL, so I don't care what she says about me. But my husband..hahaha I love him. I told him not to start *** with his brother, but he wanted to call her out on it. He was on my fb account last night and changed my status to: I KNOW ALL........

    Hahaha. Maybe she will get the hint, maybe she won't. But I still think it's funny. 

  • imageannabanana2280:

    Thanks everyone. I love my little unborn niece already, and I don't want to bring drama to her shower. (Yes, I know the shower is for my SIL, but we're celebrating the little baby), so I'm sticking with my original gift.

    I didn't want to get involved. I really have no respect for SIL, so I don't care what she says about me. But my husband..hahaha I love him. I told him not to start *** with his brother, but he wanted to call her out on it. He was on my fb account last night and changed my status to: I KNOW ALL........

    Hahaha. Maybe she will get the hint, maybe she won't. But I still think it's funny. 

    Awesome! Maybe later you can add a follow up comment about being a lawyer, like "after all, I am a lawyer!".

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageBitsKD13:
    And sign the card "with love from Auntie Know-It-All"  Wink

     Or you could just threaten to sue her for slander/libel. I forget which is which. See how know-it-all she thinks you are then! Tee hee.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards