Dolls and teaching about adoption

Sally J

Sort of a parenting discussion, but a post on the AP board (not meant to start debate between boards, but here's the post:  https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/59345093.aspx ) got me thinking.  Do you plan to buy a doll for your child that looks like them?  Do you think getting dolls that look like all sorts of thing can help teach about adoption, and perhaps even manage expectations if your child has to deal with infertility?  

My first doll was a Cabbage Patch Doll that looked nothing like me (I have light brown hair and green eyes), in fact she looked just like my DD does--dark hair, eyes and olive skin.  I remember being 4/5 and disappointed that my doll didn't look like me.  My family has Irish and Inupiat, so most of my family looks just like my DD, while I got the Irish genes.  I just wanted someone who looked like me, but eventually I just loved that she had her own look.  Serendipity I guess.

Now that we've adopted, (and although for us dealing with 'looking like family' will be easier since it's a kinship adoption), looking like each other isn't something we put a lot of stress on.  Our children have all kinds of dolls and I don't even pay attention to what they look like anymore--and they don't seem to either.

Thoughts/discussion? 

Dr.Loretta

My mom got DD a dark doll when she was a newborn. It came with something that said newborns tend to be drawn to darker faces, and that's the reason the doll looked like that.

To be honest, DD has very few dolls at this point. Except for that one I mentioned, the rest are Caucasian and don't have any hair to speak of. I guess I don't really think about it, partly for that reason.

We just moved to an incredibly diverse area, so I'm sure DD will be exposed to all kinds of cultures and appearances. As far as teaching them about adoption, I'm sure dolls are going to be one of many tools to explain.

As to managing expectations about infertility, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.