22-month old not responding to time out

JackieBB

Our 22-month-old has just this past weekend decided to push, hit (softly usually) or bite every child she comes into contact with. When I walked in today to pick her up from childcare (my mom runs an in home daycare center), she looked at me and instead of running up and giving me a hug like she normally does, she walked over to a little girl her age and pushed her down and then looked up at me and said "push."  When we put her in time out, she just sits there and doesn't care. Sometime she hits and then walks over to time out and sits down without us even saying anything. What is going on? And how do we stop this behavior?

sooosie

Testing the limits is going on.  Be consistent with whatever method of discipline you use, though, or it won't have any impact in changing the behavior.  Redirection is what we use a lot.  Also warnings, "if you do X one more time, then (consequence)".  I find that putting their favorite toys in "time out" works.

 

winomom22

She might be a little too young to get the whole "time out" concept. At this age, I would just use a lot of redirection, ignoring and positive reinforcement. Give lots of positive attention to the person she has bit or hit. It's kind of trial and error to see what gets through when it comes to discipline. If time outs aren't working then move on to something else. 

Littlejen22

That is very early for timeout.  Some people do it but I have never heard it recommended before 2yo and even at that my 2y10mo does not sit in timeout, she refuses to stay and I cannot make her stay without physically holding her down (which I would not do) because we don't have gates anymore and she is in a bed but when she was in a crib she would climb out and she can open doors, etc...will even use a key to open the bathroom door.

Timeouts do not work for everyone in all stages.

jlw2505

She is testing her limits and waiting to see how you, your DH and your mom are going to react.  YOu need to be consistent in your method - all of her caregivers need to be on the same page.  At 22 months, many kids don't really get time out.  Time out should not used as a punishment for behaviro per say but more as a time to change the situation - take a break and then redirect the behavior.  YOU need to talk to your child - explain why you don';t hit, push, etc.  Have her say sorry and say why she is sorry.  Try reading the books "1 -2 - 3 Magic" and "Love and Logic".  I have used both thoughts together - I took pieces from each method to find what works for my kids - and the same things will not work with all kids.  KIds need to be part of decisions, give them choices you can live with, have real consequences, follow through.  In this situation, time out is not working so if she hits, give her a warning, if she does it again within a set amount of time, take something away for a short time frame. 

JackieBB

Thanks everyone! Her favorite toy right now is her push mower. She has one at our house and one similar to it at Grandma's house. I think we will try redirection and then the mower in time out. We have tried the I'm sorry method following up with hugs to the kids but she doesn't seem to get it. The other day she hit and then hugged, smiling during both....so she is definitely not doing it to hurt anyone. I agree with she is testing her limits and I think trying to see what the reaction will be of the other child with her behavior because she really studies them after she does it.  And yes I've read Love and Logic - really enjoyed it. Thanks for all the suggestions.

JackieBB

Yay! Update.......today she went to hit and half way through the action she stopped and looked up at me. I think she is getting it. Thanks for your help!