I'm going to wear a sign...

lillissas85 · October 2011

..that says "I'm not pregnant anymore".

Went to the grocery store this morning and the daughter of one of DH's co-workers is a manager there. She knew I was preggo because DH told everyone he worked with when we were about 7 weeks. We were silly to tell everyone so soon, but we were SO excited. And as I said before, I am an L&D nurse, so I see losses happen at all gestations, and don't personally see the point in waiting to tell. (Although, I may change my opinion now.)

Anyway-grocery store girl looks at me, says hello, then looks at my belly. She looks at me again and says, "How are you feeling??" Looks at belly again, and says, "oh wait, you aren't someone I know, are you?" I say, "Yes, I am J's wife. " Girl-"Oh, ok! You're pregnant right? You don't look pregnant!" "No, we had a miscarriage about 7 weeks ago." "Oh, gosh, I am soooo sorry! I was gonna say...you must have been losing weight from morning sickness! Sorry I asked...It happens though, just try again!! People must feel sooo bad when the ask!"

Not even kidding, that was our conversation. Vent over. If you read this whole rambling non-sense post, thanks.

cg0112358 · October 2011

Wow, that makes you wonder what would actually come out of people's mouths if they actually internalized some of what they were going to say beforehand.

ETA: I kinda need that sign, too... I work at a catholic school of 1100 students and over 100 faculty/staff and one of the six people I told I was pregnant with twins leaked it to the students. Apparently they decided not to leak that I m/c afterwards... I'm going to a retreat in a few weeks where I will share my story hoping for some sort of cathartic relief and I hope that will at least settle the questions about my pregnancy/loss.

punkin514 · October 2011

So sorry! Some people just stumble over their words w/o thinking them through first! I just tell myself they don't mean it and they were caught off guard. Hope your day gets better

lillissas85 · October 2011

punkin514:
So sorry! Some people just stumble over their words w/o thinking them through first! I just tell myself they don't mean it and they were caught off guard. Hope your day gets better

I know..I am trying to just think of how shocked she must have been. It isn't an easy thing to tell, and it isn't an easy thing to hear. I am sure she was embarassed, and didn't know what to say, but i was just like REALLY!? I have been doing so well most days, but sometimes it just knocks you back down.

kokokat · October 2011

Good grief, what is wrong with people? I'm so sorry you had to have that conversation. I truly wouldn't have known what to say.

Luckily, not many people knew about my pregnancy, but my dad still managed to screw stuff up. We told everyone they had to wait until 12 weeks to let friends/family know. Then, I had my 8 week appt, and let my dad know everything was fine with the baby. He took that as "it's ok to tell everyone, and he did", even though we still wanted people to wait until 12 weeks. Now he's had to untell everyone. The worst is when I get sympathy cards in the mail from people who 1) should never have known I was pg 2) shouldn't have known I m/c and 3) only saw my dad after we told him for the 2nd time not to tell anyone I was pg. Even thinking about it makes me want to slap someone. The other thing I love is when people who never knew I was pg, say, "So, are you knocked up yet?" Seriously? We didn't even tell anyone we were trying! I just feel like responding, "well, since you asked, I was, but I m/c at almost 12 weeks, yeah, that's 3 months. Any other questions you'd like to ask about my reproductive health?"

It totally stinks that we're in this situation, and it's amazing how poorly some people handle it. Hugs to you after your crappy day! I think I'll make up a sign that reads..."My ute is none of your business!"