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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Feel like a horrible parent. My almost 3yo has no potty interest!
I am really at my wits end, and I am starting to get the sideeye from many people. My DD just doesn't seem ready to potty train. She definitely knows when she needs to make a BM, she just won't (and I say won't emphatically) go to the potty. I don't think she has any idea when she has to pee. I really need help. I was just letting her take her time, because I didn't want to push the issue, but now people around me are starting to get snarky. HELP!
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Re: Feel like a horrible parent. My almost 3yo has no potty interest!
This might be an UO around here, but my advice is to not push it. If she isn't ready, she isn't ready. All kids have their own timetables. My DS had no interest at 3, so we didn't try. We tried again at 3.5 in July (when we had to for preschool) and it was so easy. A day or two of working with him and that was it.
Hoenstly, I would ignore what other people say. It's your kid and if they have an issue with it, let them PT her!
Screw what other people think. As long as there isn't a deadline you have to meet (like maybe starting preschool somewhere where they have to be PT'ed), then let your daughter set the pace. If you think that she might be ready, but is just being lazy about it because she likes the ease of using diapers, put her in underwear at home and see what happens. Give it a few days, and see if anything starts clicking. If you think that she's just really not ready, then wait a couple more months and reevaluate the situation then. But unless she HAS to be potty trained ASAP for some reason, don't even listen to other people, unless they're willing to come potty train her for you.
Don't force it if you know instinctually she isn't ready. Don't listen to what others think.
We tried the underwear thing, and she goes ballistic. She thinks its cool and without warning pees through the underwear, and feels horrible. She just isn't putting it together. The only thing is, is that when we changed her diaper, she is actually requesting diapers with certain characters on them. If she can request a particular diaper, wouldn't you think she should be ready. Ughhhh!!!! It's aggravating. Her school doesn't require it, but she is the only one in her class that isn't trained. I just feel like I am not doing something right. It's such a bad feeling.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
IDK why but it seems people think there is this "freedom" of giving unsolicited advice to parents of little ones.
IMHO unless asked I try to not give advice, I try to be just an ear to stress and I just praise when mommy friends are frusterated.
It's hard not to compare yourself or your kids with others. I know a few moms whose kids are under 2 and already PT'd! It seems inconceivable to me because my 2 1/2 yr old doesn't seem close to being ready, and I am expecting her to be a "late bloomer" because she is afraid to try new things. She's so cautious. I try to think about how this personality trait is also a strength. I don't think she'll ever be much of a risk taker so hopefully that means she won't get into a lot of trouble! I think we just have to remember that our children are unique human beings and have a pace of their own.
This is exactly how my DS is and why I suspect he was 3.5 when he PTed. It's certainly not that he didn't get it by then, but he just really doesn't like new things, taking risks, or being out of his comfort zone. He had one really resistant, freak-out day when we started, but once he figured out that he could do it and it was easy, he was done. Very few accidents and no regressions. And in his case, no amount of incentives, bribery, etc. would work with him. He just had to be ok with it all.
Honestly, I am that parent that does not push. I am a firm believer of when they are ready they will do it. I believe that doing it this way eliminates the stress and frustration between the child and the parent. My youngest son only in that last month has been using the potty for pooping. He just turned 3 1/2 this month. If people are giving you the side eye that is their problem not yours. They are not the one changing the diapers. If it doesn't effect their life, then they really have no say. Doing it this way, my children have rarely had any accidents in the process. They also do not attend day care so they were not getting any potty training influence from any one else but me. HTH! Keep you head up - no child goes off to college wearing diapers!
I agree with not pushing it. My DD didn't potty train till right after her 3rd birthday I am glad we waited. It ended up being the easiest thing! What we did was get a sticker chart and told her when she filled it up we would get her something big (for us it was a play set for out back). She got a sticker for every time she went to the potty and also a sticker for each day she didn't have an accident. We loosely followed the 3 day method where we threw away all her diapers and just put her in panties. That 1st day we spent A LOT of time on the toilet but by the 2nd day something clicked and we never looked back. Don't let others make you feel bad. I think the average age to potty train is much closer to 3 then the bump makes it seem!
::Shrugs:
My daughter is very close to three and will scream "no" to me if I mention using the toilet. I'm not too worried about it and would ignore those people who are pushing you.
We're waiting until dd is ready. And she's nowhere near being ready.
If I get a snotty comment I just respond with "We don't want to push. She'll let us when she's ready." Then change the subject.
DS is only 2 years and 3 months but he never says when he has to go, we just put him on it ever couple hours and he goes. It's been weeks and as long as we keep putting him on there he goes and no wet diapers...well not many. Sometimes he wakes up dry and sometimes he doesn't. We aren't pushing just hoping he will eventually go to the potty when he has to and not count on us to take him there all the time. We'll see. Good luck. Don't rush things and don't feel like a bad parent!! All kids are different!
We didn't even start PTing until ds was 3.5 years old and even now (few months later) he is 80% potty trained.
I am not concerned...it will all work out.
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
My IF blog
Don't feel bad. My DS had no interest until a few months before he turned 3 (he turned 3 last month). I remember being stressed that he was almost 3 and had no interest. He would cry if we even tried to sit him on the potty. So, I just decided to wait until he seemed ready. Then, a few months later, he took his diaper off in the living room one day, I asked if he had to go potty, and he went to the potty and peed.
However, even now, we're still working on it and he's been in pull ups for a few months. It's not that he doesn't get it, because he does, and he's completely capable of peeing on the potty. But, I think with him it's a control issue, and his pedi agrees and isn't concerned. He realizes he can control if he goes on the potty or not, so sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. I will say he does better at daycare with the potty, I think because there are other kids there going on the potty.
I also think poop PTing my DS is going to be harder because he had really severe constipation issues that took 2.5 years and three pediatric GI doctors to figure out how to make it better. So, because of that I think, DS wants nothing to do with even trying to sit on the potty to poop. If he were at least trying, I'd possibly considering doing away with the pull ups and going straight to big boy underwear, but I'm not going to underwear when he's hit or miss with peeing and refuses to even try to poop on the potty.