emotions.

AlwaysSunny925

Just something I need to write down.

Everyone tells you about the 'NICU roller coaster'.  When we started this journey three weeks ago and the nurses used this term we kind of just brushed it off.  It isn't until you actually experience it that you truly understand what that means.  One day your babies are ok, the next day they're not.  Sometimes even the next hour.  You feel so many things that it's hard to wrap your head around.

Three weeks in and we are finally starting to feel like things will be ok...with time.  My question is: do I let myself feel this sense of relief?  Or should I constantly have my guard up in case things turn for the worse?

For now I will choose relief.  I will be at peace.  And I will enjoy my babies.  

How did/do you cope with all these emotions?

katie4253

I think you should let yourself feel however you feel.  If you feel a little relief now, good.  Just know it might not last (though, I hope it does).  For me, every weekend my anxiety was high.  The weekend neos didn't know my LO as well and usually said or did something that got me worked up.  During the week, things were better.  As we got closer to discharge things got much harder.  The last two weeks I cried more than I did during the entire stay.  It is the light at the end of the tunnel and you just want to get there!

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to manage.  You just do what you have to while in the NICU. I coped with them by blogging about everything that was going on.  We also relied heavily on each other and I talked a lot to the NICU nurses (our NICU wasn't very busy).   

Mrs. Alice

To keep my peace and sanity I also chose to be positive and relieved.  Sometimes that's just how you have to cope to protect yourself.  Deal with the negative things when and if they happen.  Celebrate the positive things.  to you! 

OscarQ

The turning point for my LO was around the three week mark too.  I remember feeling relief and then thinking "Don't dare feel relief or like this okay or the worst will happen".  Took me a very long time to trust that he was okay and had really turned the corner.  But that was a waste - I was feeling anxious for no reason.

So I say choose relief and enjoy the peace!

momamatthews

I tried to stay as positive as possible.  I know several people told me after my DD was home that there were many days they thought she wouldn't make it.  I never did.  I just never let myself go there.  Why would you if you don't have to.  I would get excited on the good days and look forward to more good days on the bad days.  It will get better.  Just do what you need to do to get through this time.

Medtwin

with everything my husband & i have gone thru since July 21 (first put on bedrest).. August 3rd had babies..and then some.. i think it's how you feel at that moment.. as long as you are giving yourself a reality check that you are a NICU mom.. i'm not sad all the time.. i'm happy to be with my daughter in nicu..but i fantasize about taking her home too..when she's having a good day, a good moment, a good week..then i'm happy (but i'm also 250 miles from home)..soo my home is with her..  feel how you feel.. & try to keep some sanity going..

GL

 

cottonlily84

My baby wasn't as early as yours and she was pretty healthy especially by NICU standards.  She was only the NICU for 9 days but it was still so frustrating and nervewracking.  One day she's doing great, the next day they tell me she's lost 11 oz.  A couple days later they think she can go home then her temperature bottoms out and nurses are dashing for hot blankets.  I cannot even fathom being in the NICU situation for weeks like you are.  I think you should let yourself feel whatever you want.  I felt strange when DD was in the NICU.  The nurses and drs were awesome and I never worried about her care.  I felt a little less like a mommy just because I wasn't worrying enough!  Then I realized how silly that was and just realized she was just being taken care of very well.  So if you want to be at peace and enjoy your babies' current state of progress then do it.  It helps to keep thinking positively, especially for your well being. 

kck329

Good for you! You have had a really rough three weeks and you should choose to feel good today. I'm glad the boys are having good days for you and you can feel like this. There are a lot of ups and downs in the NICU which makes it even more important to find things to celebrate. Every little milestone means so much because you know how hard your babies have worked to get there. We tried to find things to be thankful for each day (some days it was REALLY hard) and I think it helped.

Congrats on a good day!

lilstar2009

Even though my baby was also doing exceptionally well by NICU standards, but he was so slow to gain weight that he stayed there for 58 long days.  I would go home worrying that he would deteriorate any minute...I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time,..it was so scary!  In fact the last week he was supposed to come home, he decided not to keep his temperature which bought him another week...talk about pins and needles.  Please feel free to share with us...its nice to talk to someone who knows exactly how you feel   And congrats for a great day!

 

bhilyer

One of the best pieces of advice I got while the boys were in the NICU was to take it hour by hour rather than day by day.  Things can change so quickly.  

Even when the boys had been stable for weeks, I would hold my breath every time my phone rang.  I tried to rejoice in the small things and celebrate every little thing but I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Probably not the healthiest way to deal,  but it's what worked for me.  

One thing I really struggled with was juggling the emotions I had where both boys were concerned. Hilyer was always sicker than JohnScott.  At times I felt guilty when I would be happy over JS's progress while H was still struggling.  Just remember that both boys need you and it's okay to celebrate the progress of one if the other is struggling.