Sister got bad news (long & pgncy mentioned)

Mayan2011

I hope I don't get flamed for this post.... 

I posted a few months ago about how conflicted and upset I was b/c my younger sister of 10 years announced she was pregnant (first grandchild on our side).  I came around to her being pregnant and was starting to actually be really excited for her and for me - to be an aunt.

I have known for about a month that there have been complications, but today I got a call from her and things aren't going well at all.  She is 7 months and the baby is only 3lbs, the head isn't the correct measurements, and her fluids are really low.  She was given steroid injections today and has to go back for more tomorrow.  She also has to be monitored 3 times a week to ensure growth continues and for fetal stress tests.  When she called me I broke down - completely. 

I feel awful for ever being upset over her pregnancy and being the older sister I want to shelter her from all the bad things that might be around the corner for her.  I don't want her to know that kind of pain.  I am crying as I type this.  I am just so upset.  I think going through everything an infertile goes through and knowing how painful pregnancy issues can be - wherever they land on the spectrum and understanding that it is all relative - has made me hurt so much more for her than I would if I wasn't dealt the hand I have. 

If you can spare any Ts & Ps for her I would really appreciate it. 

theworms

i'm so sorry cutie.

your sister will be in mt T&P, i hope all turns out well.

((HUGS))

eta - try to not feel bad, your human honey, it's ok to have these feelings, IF is hard and it hurts when it happens for others and not us.  your feelings did not cause this and we know how much you love your sister.

 

jlcrane78

I took it really hard when my SIL got pregnant.  I wanted my husband and I to be the first ones to give his mom a grandchild, and I felt robbed of that when I found out she was pregnant.  She had pregnancy complications too, and she had a stillbirth at 31 weeks.  You can only imagine the level of guilt I felt for ever being upset.  But like Wormsie said, you are human.  It's hard to control those emotions when we have gone through so much to try and conceive our own children.  Try not to beat yourself up too much.  I will send Ts and Ps her way.  You are amazing for asking for them for her!

SweetDahlia

I'm sorry hon. I can't imagine how you feel. I know how much it sucks to want to have the first grandchild, but now will be the 3rd one.

Nothing you did or thought had any effect. I am sure she knows you are there for here.

Huge hugs.

Mayan2011

Thanks ladies.

cutebride73

I'm sorry that your sister is going through all of these complications.  I hope that things turn out to be okay for her.  It is certainly hard to see someone you care about go through all of this. 

Please don't feel bad about the feelings you had early on, that is totally normal.  You have been through so much and it is okay to feel jealous and hurt.  And those feelings you had, have nothing to do with what is going on now.  Don't beat your self up - you are being an awesome, supportive, caring sister.  ((((hugs))))

STL34

((HUGS))  Keeping your sister and her LO in my T&Ps.

Like the other ladies said, you can't beat yourself up for those feelings.  I think it is normal.  I know I initially felt jealous when my SIL got pregnant before me and MH.  But, like you, I soon was excited for her and happy.  The fact that your sister is now facing difficulties has nothing to do with your initial jealousy.  You can't beat yourself up for that.  ((HUGS))

km0426

Just want you to know that I will keep your sister and her little one in my T&P. And I am sure she appreciates your empathy and hope for her and it doesn't matter that you initially had a hard time with her pregnancy..we all would have in your shoes. But what matters most is that you have been able to share her happiness and now can share her worry.  Good luck.  Really hoping everything turns out ok.

ellenchris0506

I remember your postings, and I completely relate, as my younger sister also got pg first with the first grandchild. 

Your feelings are totally understandable, and I know I always have wanted to protect my younger sister, as well.  T & Ps for her and her baby, and I hope things turn out ok.

You are a wonderful sister for being so caring and concerned.

mtlaurel

I'm so sorry, that's scary. But, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty over. You clearly got over your initial IF reaction and came to care about the baby and her in a healthy way. Ts and Ps.

bbakersgirl75

theworms:

i'm so sorry cutie.

your sister will be in mt T&P, i hope all turns out well.

((HUGS))

eta - try to not feel bad, your human honey, it's ok to have these feelings, IF is hard and it hurts when it happens for others and not us.  your feelings did not cause this and we know how much you love your sister.

 

This.... Worms is right, your only human hun.  I'll be keeping your sister in my T&P's as well. ((Hugs))

DeputiesWife

I am so very sorry to hear about your sister. I am sure you are feeling an array of emotions.

I will keep you all in my T&P.  

illinigal

Hugs and T&P heading out to your sister and her little one.  I hope everything is ok with her baby.

BeeBee08

My little sister is also pg with the first grandchild so I know the feelings/thoughts.  Nothing you have done has caused any of this heart ache for your sister.  Don't be hard on yourself for those feelings.  Huge ((hugs)) and your sister and family are in my T&P.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with this array of emotions on top of your own. 

Temp590840000005378

I'm so sorry for your sister, I can't imagine how hard that would be.  You sound like an amazing support to her and I'm sure she feels lucky to have a sister like you.  Sending all the good vibes I have to her and you!! ((HUGS))

bubbas mama1

I am so sorry for what your sister is going through! Will definitely keep her in my prayers!

Please try not to feel guilty for how you felt earlier in her pregnancy. You are human & your feelings are valid & unfortunately IF can cause us to have bitter feelings - regardless of who they are towards.

naybird

Oh Hun, I'm so sorry. Your sister, her little one, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

cookie_queen

I'm so sorry hun. I hope everything turns out okay.

blueberries8

(((hugs))) Please don't be so hard on yourself. Many T&Ps to her that everything will turn out ok.

Mayan2011

Thanks for such kind words, and your Ts & Ps mean a lot.

xo

MBfromBMC

I am so sorry... You and your sister are definitely in my T&Ps.