Birth Stories

My Fraternal Twin Boys. A premie birth story.

Friday, September 9th, 2011. (The day before).

ME to DH: I spent a lot of time today finalizing my list for things that will go into my hospital bag. I typed it all up in a word document, see? (Shows the list).

DH: That's good to be prepared.

ME: Yep. We should pack it by week 30, for sure. (1 week and 2 days away.) I mean, we want to be ready and prepared!


Saturday, September 10th, 2011.

7:00am- I am up to pee for the 10th time that night. Literately every 2 hours like clockwork.
I climb back into bed, feeling fine now that I have just emptied my squashed bladder, again.

ME to DH: I am so glad we have more time to prepare. (Seriously, this is the conversation we are having).

DH: Yeah, we've got a lot of time to get things done over the next couple months-- don't worry.

ME: Yeah and it would really stink to have their birthdays today, right before 9/11. (Lists off a bunch of people who have birthdays on 9/10).

We yabber on some more about how happy we are that there is still time and that we avoided such a sad day near their birthdays and then doze off to sleep again-- for a minute or two.


7:15am-ish.--Zzzzzzz. . . . KAPOW!
I felt like one of them kicked or punched me right in the cervix! I thought, "That's strange, haven't felt one like that before. I guess they do get stronger."
And I laid there for a moment. Then, I felt a small amount of fluid come out.
And I laid there. . . .
I thought, "That could just be some more CM like I had been having. No biggy."
But then my mind started thinking, "What if it's blood?!?!?"
So I couldn't just lay there anymore, I had to check.
Thankfully, since I have white sheets, I looked-- and "nothing to be concerned about", I thought. It was perfectly clear. A small bit. But what the heck, I'm already up, I'll just go to the bathroom, again.
So I'm walking to the bathroom and as soon as I (thankfully) hit the tile floor-- GUSH!
I am leaking clear fluid everywhere. I run to the toilet holding myself down there like it's going to stop something! I sit there confused and scared for a moment. After all I was only 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant. And then I realize, we've got to GO!

I say to DH, (who is still in bed unaware), "DH, I think my water just broke."
Before I could look up, he had somehow gotten up, and already put on his jeans and belt. Seriously, he was like some kind of fireman or something.

At this point we ran around like chickens trying to figure out what we'd have to bring to the hospital--Since we haven't packed that damn bag yet! OH KARMA! WHY!??!
Thankfully, I had made the list the day before, so I pulled it up on my computer and started yelling things to bring that I knew we could use this time. Obviously, I don't need their "go-home outfits" at this point.
I also was not under the impression they would be born yet. I knew this was a problem, but I didn't think they'd be here so soon.
When I return back to the bathroom I notice the first amount of blood. "We have to go NOW!" I say.

7:25am-Finally we got the bag, fed the cats, put a towel on the car seat and off we went to the hospital about 30 minutes away. At this point, other than my nerves, I felt fine, not really in any pain.

I called my perinatologist on the way. She and I had an appointment scheduled for our next u/s check up that day at 10am. I told her to keep the appointment because she would need to see me! She told me that I should prepare to be on bedrest in the hospital for a few months. I thought, "OH GREAT! I don't have anything ready!"

Then, I talked to my OB who seemed pissed that I bothered to call my perinatologist. (Relax lady, you can share me today. . . ) She told me to hurry to the hospital and she would see me when I got there. I was very relieved that she was working that Saturday!

7:30am- Mild contractions beginning to make an appearance. But nothing I can't handle. Still driving. . .

7:45am- Contractions getting stronger, now about 5-6 minutes apart. . . we are getting closer to the hospital.


7:50am- Pulling into the parking structure that takesforever to get to the 3rd level for maternity. My contractions are now about 4-5 minutes apart, DH is timing them like a pro! They hurt like a bastard but I say to DH, "Yes they are really bad, but I can handle them because of the break in between."-- Get ready to laugh at that statement.

7:55am- Parking. I tell DH I need a 'chair' which confuses him for a minute. "A wheelchair", I say. And off he runs. I try to get out of the car but as soon as I stand up my amniotic fluid goes everywhere! So much for the dinky pad I had put on!

I'm now standing in the parking structure in front of the entrance, dripping fluid with my head against the car trying to hold myself up during the contractions which are only getting stronger and closer together.

Suddenly, two or three nurses come out of the door leaving from their night shift. They run over and help me. They ask if someone has gone for a wheel chair. I tell them DH ran in a minute ago. They laugh and say they saw him run by and figured he was late for a delivery! :)

DH comes out with the wheelchair and they help get me into the doors and down to labor and delivery. Thankfully we had a tour of the hospital and L&D rooms a week or two before so we knew where we were going.

Once we rush inside, the lady at the front makes me sit there, contracting,and fill out paperwork! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I am 28 weeks pregnant with twins, my water is broken and I am pre-registered, damnit! . . . That's what I was thinking . . .on the outside I was trying to remain calm, like DH would want me to and just fill out whatever stupid papers she wanted. . . as I leaked all over her floor.

When the nurses came they pushed me right to a L&D room and skipped triage. I think it was clear what was happening.

Once they go me into L&D, time sort of got away from me.

I changed into a gown--not the schanzzy one I bought, which I should've wore, but we figured I could wear later. Then they began to hook me up to all kinds of machines. They had monitors on my belly, one for me and one for each baby. Then they checked me to see how dilated I was. I was already 4-5cm dilated and almost completely effaced.

Holy cow. It was at that point, it occurred to me, there was no stopping this train.

My contractions were now coming on so strong I was grabbing the top of the bed with each contraction. But as I am contracting they were asking me questions and slapping my hands trying to get an IV in! The one positive thing was that at this point there was no need for pitocin (which I did not want).

9:00am-ish???
They have my IV in and are giving me magnesium and fluids. But the contractions are not slowing down. In fact they are so close there is no rest.They are about 60-90 seconds long and have no break in between other than about 2-5 seconds. It was a nightmare.
My OB told me, for twins they will be putting their arms completely up my vagina and into my uterus during and after delivery-- so I need to get an epidural. I fought it the whole pregnancy for fear that it would impede my contractions and that I would end up on pitocin. Well, today I was already 5 cm dilated and there was no slowing these bad boys. I had no rest and was planning to get it at 9cm anyways, so I might as well ask for it now, hoping it will allow me to think clearer and have a better experience. So I asked.

My God, I am so glad I did. It was funny though, the second I sat up to do the procedure, I already felt better. I clearly needed to change my position in bed. I was just too afraid to move before. The nurse claimed it was the fentanyl I was given. WHAT!??! I was peeved a doctor snuck me some fentanyl before the procedure without asking me. I would have declined due to possible side-effects it can cause the babies. But, again, there was nothing I could do at that point.
Anyways, the epidural didn't hurt at all! I was so worried that it would. I must have told the nurses 10x how wonderful the epidural was! It didn't remove allsensation. It felt like when you come in from being outside on a blistering cold day and your legs go numb. (Maybe that's a Wisconsin thing?) But that's exactly what it felt like.

About 10:00am things start to jumble together. I was now 6-7 cm dilated and 100% effaced. They also placed a probe(?) to the top of Baby A's head (who was apparently right there) to make monitoring easier.
My perinatologist did her last u/s with us that day, about the time our appointment would have been. It was bittersweet. Seeing them on the u/s and knowing they would most likely be here today was exciting--but it was too soon. I began to feel like I had failed. Baby A's head was so low in my pelvis she couldn't even measure it. We took a guess by using Baby B's head circumference with the rest of A's measurements. Baby A was head down but Baby B had turned from his last ultrasound and was now transverse (sideways).

Afterwards, I tried to watch the Badger game on TV. A kind nurse snuck me a popsicle and some ice chips. DH called our parents who came and sat in the waiting room--well except for my Dad who was off somewhere picking grapes for his winery.
I texted some friends, made an "Oh my God pray for us" facebook post and then posted here to my blog. I wanted to post to the chat but couldn't on my iphone! ('Thank you' to those that relayed the message! :)

Time was passing so quickly. When they asked me if I wanted to do a vaginal delivery or have a C-section, I was shocked. First, I didn't realize I would ever have a choice--especially with premies so tiny. Secondly, I figured this was an "emergency type situation" and they would suddenly need to come out--but apparently not. Lastly, this means they are coming today, for real.

Didn't we just have a conversation this morning about how we had more time?!?!

It was all so surreal. Before I knew it they had checked me again (mid-afternoon) and I was completely dilated and effaced. Baby A was also very low, I think they said "+1".

This was it. They told us they would be getting ready. The look on DH's face was priceless!

We were so worried. There were so many questions: Would the babies be okay? Can I actually push them out? Why did this happen? What did I do wrong??? Will this be the last time I can ever be pregnant? Will I always remember what they felt like inside of me? Why don't I get 2+ more months to help them grow and thrive before all of this???

But those questions could be answered . . . it was time.

The OR's bright lights were a little alarming. There were so many people. My OB, the residents, nurses, other doctors, etc . . . at one point, including the twins, we counted 19 people in the OR. The anesthesiologist put in another IV line in my right hand and checked that I couldn't feel any pain. My OB said, "His head is right there!" I told DH to go take a peek! He went over and looked so surprised! I wish I could've seen it too! Then I was told to start pushing.

I pushed for about 10 minutes, holding DH's hand, turning all red in the face before little Baby A arrived with a tiny, welcomed cry. Mason Oscar was born at 3:39pm. He weighed 2lbs 14 oz. and was 14 3/4 inches long. He was beautiful! They immediately took him to the warmer to check him. But I did see him getting passed over as he came out! They swaddled him and Bobby, one of the NICU nurses, brought him over to us to see and kiss before he was whisked away to the NICU. I have no idea what they were doing to me as I looked at him. I was blissfully distracted.

Now I had another baby to deliver! Baby B had now turned breech. I had stopped contracting after Baby A and they were worried they would have to give me pitocin to start them again. But after a few minutes I thankfully started on my own. They broke his bag of water and a HUGE gush came out. My OB actually had to move out of the way and dodge the waterfall coming at her. Then doctors had their entire forearms in my uterus attempting to turn him and grab his legs. I could feel them in there. It was extremely uncomfortable, but not necessarily painful at this point. They tried for what seemed like forever to try and grab Baby B's tiny legs. Finally, they were able to and I was pushing again to get Baby B out. After a few pushes my OB helped guide him out feet first.

Baby B came out with his own very quiet cry. My precious Christopher Michael was born at 3:46pm. He weighed 2lbs 15 oz. and was 16 inches long! He was quickly taken to the warmer. They worked on him for a long time. It felt like forever that he wasn't moving or doing much.


I was trying to watch what they were doing with him as the doctors were pressing on my uterus to try and get it to contract back down--which it wasn't. Suddenly I heard the phrase, "Massive hemorrhage." I think I said out loud to DH, "Well that's not good." They pressed on and IN my uterus for over 30 minutes delivering the placentas (both were still in there) and trying to get the bleeding stop. At this point, they decided to give me pitocin so that it would help my uterus contract back down.

But painful as that was (and it was--worse than the delivery), I couldn't stop looking over at Christopher. They finally were able to get a breathing tube down after trying for quite a while. When they brought him over to me for the first time, he looked so much more fragile than his brother and I was afraid to touch him for fear of hurting him. But they told me I could kiss his head and then quickly took him away to the NICU to join his brother.

After my boys had left, DH stayed with me as they continued to try and get my bleeding to stop. It seemed like forever. Once they had finished getting the bleeding to stop closer to 4:30pm, I asked to see the placentas! So crazy looking! I can't believe I had all of that plus both babies AND fluid in there! My OB had to stitch where I had torn, mostly on the inside. As they were stitching me up, I felt like a lot of time had passed, so I asked them, "You aren't sewing it shut, are you?"

Once all was well in my lady parts (for the time being), they pushed me back to my L&D room where I waited for several hours. DH went to see the boys in the NICU while I rested.
When he came back, he showed photos to our parents (my Dad now included) who were still in the waiting room. Then they all came back to see me.

In some order, I received blood, more fluids, pitocin and pain meds. My feet and legs also had THE WORST edema I have ever seen! Blech!

It wasn't until late that night 11-12pm that I was able to see my boys for the first time in the NICU. They wheeled me down the hallways. As they did I got to hear the "lullaby" song that they play for all babies when they are born, expect for my boys they played it twice :) It was so wonderful to think that they were here and I that I got to hear the song being played for them.

Once in the NICU, I washed my hands for the mandatory three minutes. Then, I entered the room where they laid in their isolettes with a million cords attached to their tiny little bodies. Both babies were still without names, so they were simply labeled "INF-1" and "INF-2".
Mason (Baby A, INF-1) was on C-PAP while Christopher (Baby B, INF-2) was on a ventilator. They were so tiny and red. Christopher's legs and feet were significantly bruised from the delivery. Both of their heads were misshapen and they were so very small. But when they grabbed my finger with their tiny hands, I knew they were fighters. They had a surprisingly strong grip for such frail little ones.

Ever since then we have been totally in love with them. Totally in love with everything they do; Live for every little milestone and panic at every setback. DH spent the rest of that week in the hospital with me. After we were discharged on Monday night we were able to stay in a separate room down a hallway by ourselves until Friday morning. It was a great gift to have that week together. Especially since I was pumping at all hours of the night.

I have struggled a lot with the fact that they came so early. What could I have done to prevent it? Was it the stress of selling and buying a house? The move and unpacking? Too much amniotic fluid? Maybe none of those things.

Looking at books and websites now the signs of preterm labor were there. I had made a few posts asking about signs of braxton hicks contractions. I had menstrual like cramps, and pains in my side and back for the two weeks leading up to their delivery. I had also had a weird jelly-like CM within the week of delivery. But it wasn't bloody, just yellow-ish, so I just told DH, "My body is weird", and didn't think to call.
What I did have was a feeling something wasn't right. And for that, I should've gone in. I'll never know if going in a few days earlier could've prevented them from coming so soon. Being pregnant your first time and with multiples, it is so hard to distinguish what are normal pregnancy pains and what is cause for alarm.

Now I spend each day next to my tiny little boys in the NICU, unable to take them home and unprepared for their arrival because we spend each free moment at the NICU. DH can't be with me because he has to save his paternity leave for when they do come home-- and they will most likely not come home at the same time.

I also struggle with the sudden and abrupt ending of the pregnancy I had wanted for so long. Not that it was the 'pregnancy itself', it was the 'healthy happy babies because of a term pregnancy' I wanted. I feel selfish when I say I wanted to enjoy the last bits that others get to experience. I feel jipped yet again. I wanted to finish their nursery--we hadn't even painted yet--with them in my belly. I wanted to wash their tiny clothes and lay them on my belly. I wanted to attend my own baby shower pregnant.

I found this passage in a multiples book yesterday under the NICU chapter.

"Push!" my doctor commanded. But I didn't want to push. I didn't want my twins to be born, not yet. "It's too soon, they're too little," I cried to my husband.
There was no stopping the labor. Nine weeks premature, my 3-pound son announced his arrival in the world with a barely audible cry. . . .
Those (next) 48 hours were agony. Foremost with fear-- that both babies would die, that one would die . . . or what if the twins were physically or mentally impaired, as premies sometimes are? Was I strong enough to care for disabled children?
Self- centered as it sounds, I also felt cheated. Out of a third trimester filled with good wishes from friends and encouraging smiles from strangers. Out of a labor marked by excited anticipation. Out of the ecstasy a woman feels when she first holds her perfect newborn in her arms . I had lost all that, and gained. . . what? A jumbled memory of two infants I had scarcely seen and never held. A few precious photos my husband had hastily snapped. . .
Stepping into the NICU, I was instantly overwhelmed by the sounds and sights: the buzzing alarms, the bustling nurses, the bright lights, and in every isolette, an unbelievably tiny baby.
Bill (her husband) guided me toward one particular incubator and lifted the lid. "Samantha, Mommy's here," I whispered. My miniature daughter turned her head, opened her eyes--and captured my heart. In an instant, I knew no matter how fleeting our future together, I would treasure this child and her twin brother forever. . .
...Precarious too was my sense of self as a mother. Surely, I was less important to my children than were the doctors and nurses who guarded their lives. I couldn't breast-feed them, since they were too weak to suck. I couldn't hold them for long, since their body temperature was unstable outside the isolettes. Through the portholes, I tentatively stroked their bodies, fearful of dislodging the many tubes and wires. It was not what I had imagined motherhood to be.
Gradually, though, I adapted to this form of parenting. I learned to swaddle a baby without disturbing the cardiorespiratory monitor or temperature probe. . . In the NICU all-day, every day. I rocked James for hours, then put him back in his isolette and walked to the next room to sing to Samantha. But each night in bed, I was tormented my the fear that the twins might never get well and come home, never sleep in their cribs, never go to school, never become the nice normal children I had dreamed they would be.

--Passage from "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads".


Despite all of my fears, sadness and "what if's", I am incredibly grateful to have had my boys at all. They are fighting their hearts out in the NICU everyday and although they would be better off still inside my womb, they are doing well and I wouldn't trade them for anything or any 'dream scenario' in the world.

Every time, I walk into the NICU, I see a large framed poem on the wall with a drawing of a little boy with angel's wings. It is written in the voice of a particular child who's stay was far too brief, who didn't get to go home with his family and is now telling them to be strong. I cry every single time I look at it or even think of it. (Yep, right now). It reminds me to be unbelievably thankful for the time I have with my boys, whether we are at home or they are in their isolettes in the NICU; That they are getting stronger every day; That I can hold them and see them make silly faces and yes, even pee and poop on Daddy and I when we change their diapers.

It has been a long and unusual journey so far. But I know these boys are worth every single step along the way! I am so in love with these little boys.

I love you Mason and Christopher!

My Story and Blog:
The Conception Craze

1/2009- TTTC
After 7 rounds of clomid and HcG, Three failed IUI's with an ectopic pregnancy, two shots of methotrextate, ER visits, breaks, low (3%) morphology One IVF cycle (lupron, gonal-F) that ended in another ectopic, more methotrexate, A Lap to disconnect both tubes, remove endo and a hydrosalphinx, . . .we are finally expecting TWINS from FET#1!
1.11. 2011: Beginning FET cycle!
3.11.11- FET! (DH's birthday!) 2 blasts transfered!
3.20.11- BETA #1 BFP!!! 272! (9dp5dt)
3.23.11- BETA #2 1346!!! (12dp5dt)
4.8.11- U/S #1. . TWINS!!! . . .TWO BOYS!
9.10.11-My beautiful Boys arrive unexpectedly at 28 weeks, 6 days. imageimage
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Re: My Fraternal Twin Boys. A premie birth story.

  • Jeez oh petes, make a girl cry at work, why don't you!! lol. That was a great story! I am so glad everything has worked out beautifully. Congrats to you and your H!!


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  • Beautiful story!! I pray that your boys continue to grow and be strong fighters!!  Congrats to you and your hubby.  Stay strong for those precious little boys. 

    Quick question I wanted to ask:  How big are your boys now?  And do you know how much longer they are going to have to spend in the NICU?

    Their both so precious!! 

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  • Congratulations on your gorgeous little boys!! I pray they continue to grow and get healthier everyday.
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  • imageKAWalker11:

    Quick question I wanted to ask:  How big are your boys now?  And do you know how much longer they are going to have to spend in the NICU?

    Their both so precious!! 

    Today at 5 weeks and 2 days old they were 4lbs 8pz and 4lbs 15 oz.

    I wish I knew when they would be coming home, but each day comes and brings new challenges and success so it is hard to tell.  It looks like Mason (the smaller one, actually) will most likely be coming home before Chris. 

    My Story and Blog:
    The Conception Craze

    1/2009- TTTC
    After 7 rounds of clomid and HcG, Three failed IUI's with an ectopic pregnancy, two shots of methotrextate, ER visits, breaks, low (3%) morphology One IVF cycle (lupron, gonal-F) that ended in another ectopic, more methotrexate, A Lap to disconnect both tubes, remove endo and a hydrosalphinx, . . .we are finally expecting TWINS from FET#1!
    1.11. 2011: Beginning FET cycle!
    3.11.11- FET! (DH's birthday!) 2 blasts transfered!
    3.20.11- BETA #1 BFP!!! 272! (9dp5dt)
    3.23.11- BETA #2 1346!!! (12dp5dt)
    4.8.11- U/S #1. . TWINS!!! . . .TWO BOYS!
    9.10.11-My beautiful Boys arrive unexpectedly at 28 weeks, 6 days. imageimage
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image

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  • Congratulations on the Birth of your boys. Praying that keep fighting and grow strong so they can go home with their momma.
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  • Congratulations on your two boys! I hope you get to bring them home soon!
  • You did a wonderful job telling your story. I hope Mason and Christopher grow stronger every day and get to come home with you soon!
    Julie... Mommy to a beautiful baby girl & 2 handsome boys!! image. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • What a touching story.  I'll keep you and your precious little boys in my prayers.  Good luck with everything, it sounds like they are fighters!
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  • Congratulations!!! They are adorable. You had quite an experience!!!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
    Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
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  • Grow Mason and Christopher! Grow! 

    Thoughts and prayers to your family of 4! 

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  • Thank you for sharing your story. My sincere prayers are with you, your dh and your precious baby boys.
  • Now THAT is what you call a birth story!! Glad they are doing good.
  • I have tears in my eyes after reading your story -- thank you for sharing. Thinking of you and your strong boys!
    image
    4 Clomid cycles + 3 IUIs w/ injectables + 1 IVF = 1 m/c, 1 ectopic
    FET May 2011 = BFP! Beta 1 (8dp5dt): 336, Beta 2 (12dp5dt): 2033, Beta 3 (14dp5dt): 4706

    ? So thankful for our little guys, born at 33 weeks. ?
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