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Question for first time mothers

I am preg with my first, and wanted to hear from first time mothers if you decided on getting a nurse to help your first couple of weeks. My MIIL will be out at some point, but we are not sure when.

 Curious to hear from those that are going through motherhood for the first time, and any advice. :)

Kingsley Kennedy Wolff born March 16, 2012!!!

Re: Question for first time mothers

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    a nurse? no. my mom took off from work for 2 weeks to help me out (i had a c-section). after the initial 2 weeks it got easier to take care of LO on my own (i'm a single mom)
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    we did not opt for any hired help.  We have had short visits from family (as in, a few hours) and my mom was here for the first few days. I have a friend who had family stay with her for the first 3 months of their first child's life.  I think there are pluses and minuses to both.  Depends on what you want and have available.

    I can really  only comment on no help since that is my experience.  DH and I have had the last few weeks to learn more about our son and respond to him.  I feel very confident in our ability to handle things that come up as a team because we have done it for these few weeks. We have made mistakes and had some moments of panic - but I think that is normal.

    Our son was in the hospital for a few days under the bili lights after we went home also. So we had that added stress. It was hard to deal with physically and emotionally as a parent, but DH and I came through it knowing we can rely on each other.

    It would be nice to have someone to do the laundry, dishes, and vacuum. but... that stuff isnt as important. :)  We only share our son with each other :) so that is another benefit. haha

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    No. My mil came everyday the 1st week to help clean, do laundry and food shop. I wasnt allowed to drive. The next week she came 3 days. She stayed each day till my husband came home from work. By the 3rd week I was good.
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    Not a first timer, but no. DH took the first week off and then my mom was around the next week. With just one I probably would have been fine on my own honestly (I had a c/s with both FWIW).
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    DH took off 2 weeks to stay home with us. My mom was "on call". I told her before having him that I didn't know yet what I'd want and she basically said if you want me to come, call - if not, that's ok too. I ended up just waiting and having her come for 2 days when DH went back to work. But it was more of a fun visit than her helping me with stuff by then. 
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    H took off a week after we got released from the hospital. Other than that, we did everything ourselves. The week H was off, we rearranged furniture, hung curtains, and put in rock edgers into a flower garden. We could have had help, but I don't know what help. I think I might have liked company when H went back.

    I went home Friday and felt fine by Sunday/Monday. Before that I just felt a little sore.

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    MH took off the first week to be at home and my mother was here the second week.  I have to say if I had to be alone with no family/significant other I think I would have had to hire help.  MH is amazingly helpful so that made the first week all the more bearable.
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    My DH took the first week off so that was great.   But honestly, I was pretty bored the first couple weeks because our LO slept most of the time.  I also recovered pretty quickly and didn't have any problems resuming normal activities.

    I found that I had plenty of time to get things done around the house.  Now, if I had another child to take care of in addition to a new baby....that's when I would need help!   

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    H took off work the first two weeks and after that my mom was on call in case I needed help. It would have been much easier if I didn't have my nether region stitched together though. The first week I couldn't hold DD and stand/move at the same time.
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    DH was with me for the first 3 weeks and i honestly don't know how i could have done it without him...but i had to have a c-section so i wasn't moving too fast.  If you have someone around to help you out you will be fine. I could definitly see the plus side of having someone with experience around to teach you tricks and let you know whats normal etc
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    I say invest your dollars in a maid, Mommy!  I had the house deep cleaned a couple of weeks before lo arrived, then once while we were at the hospital.  She comes every other week even now that lo is 11 weeks old, and I LOVE it.  Another thing I would've loved is a cook.  If you don't live near close friends or family (we don't) it's pretty stinking hard to feed yourself those first couple of weeks.  So hmmm...maybe a maid who also cooks!

     

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    DH took off the first two weeks from work and my parents were around a lot to help out so we didn't hire anyone.  However if the situation was different (no DH, parents far away) I probably would have gotten one (had a c-section and coudln't do too much in the beginning). 

     

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    omg, lol, no. I am not one of those fancy rich people.  DH and I slummed it, totally.

    Haha!  This!  Hiring a nurse never even crossed my mind.  DH had a week off work, otherwise LO and I were on our own.  We did just fine by ourselves.  Honestly, I cherish our times alone as a family.  I also enjoy the time LO and I spend alone just the two of us when DH is working.

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    We had a night nurse for 6 nights, spread over a couple weeks.  It was nice for us bcc we don't have family nearby who could stay and help, and the first few nights at home are kind of scary!  If I could do it again, I'd have her come the first few nights and also after DS's bris. The later nights weren't necessary.

    However if you're totally against giving a bottle, then I think a nurse isn't worth the money - the best part is getting a little bit of uninterrupted sleep. I nursed DS before bed and in the morning, but pumped so the nurse could feed him bm during the night. (we didn't have her the first couple nights, so by the time she came, my milk had definitely come in!)

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    the thought of hiring someone didn't really come into discussion...dh took one week off (would have taken two if he could, but not possible with his job) and after that i was on my own. we had a lot of friends and some family bring us meals for a few weeks, which helped tremendously.
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    No nurse. Our parents were in town the first week to "help out" and honestly it was more stressful and problematic with their help. Week 2 when it was just DH and I was a million times easier.
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    People do this?  Oh my! Honestly, you won't need a nurse, esp. if you are BF.  It would drive me crazy to have a nurse there.  It was just my H and me both times.
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    If you have the money to pay for, I say do it!!  Or consider hiring a dula that can help with house cleaning, laundry, and food preparation.

    We didn't, but that is because we didn't have the money.  It would have been nice to have help, though.  Making recovery easier.  Remember that 2 weeks after delivery you aren't supposed to drive (vaginal or c-section).  And you have doctor appointments to go to (5 day weight check up if you are breastfeeding, and the typical 2 week checkup). 

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    My dh took a week off, which resulted in us being home 3.5 days before he went back to work. I couldn't drive, and I had a csection, and I had no issues after Db went back to work. My mom came by on here lunch break every day.
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    No.  I totally did it alone from the first night back home.  DH was off the first two nights in the hospital, but the day we came home, he went back to work that night and didn't go on paternal leave till about a week and a half after she was born.
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    My DH took 2 weeks off of work after LO was born and that was too much time. I was ready to get into my own routine.

    I guess it would be helpful if you don't have your DH able to be home/family in the area for support.

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    I live with my future in laws so MIL does washing and stuff but actual care of DD is all up to me while my FI is at work
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    DH took 2 weeks after work and my mom came for a few days here and there after that (still does!) to help me out.  Worked out fine.  I had a very painful and complicated delivery ending in a c-section, too. 

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    A nurse wouldn't have been much help to me since I am nursing...if anything I would have liked a housekeeper or a meal service!
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    I wish I had. My husband was able to take 3 weeks off which was amazing but when he went back to work (he has to wake up at 6am) I started taking the night shifts and it is draining.

    Just some advice, when your inlaws come out, I would suggest being very clear about what the expectations are with them. Mine just got here (DS is 6 weeks) and so far, the only things they do are the "fun" things and the occasional diaper change.

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