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Having a Parent stay with you?

I've been thinking about asking my mom to stay with my DH and I a week or so after the baby is born? Has anyone done this, if so what are your thoughts? How long did you have your guest stay? Was it helpful or annoying?
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Re: Having a Parent stay with you?

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    My much older sister came to stay with us, and it wasn't helpful at all.  It was just one extra person to do laundry and cook for.  In fact, I got home from the hospital and two days later was doing ALL the housework, because no one would help.  If someone comes to help, definately clarify what you would like them to do.  Some just expect to come play with the baby for the week, and I think household help is better, so you can focus on and bond with baby, and heal.  I am still not healed and am still bleeding at 8 weeks postpartum, and I think it is because I had to do so much so quick.  Can you tell i'm a little bitter?  Wink  Anyway, I say have your mom come, but talk to her ahead of time about what would help you the most.
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    My MIL lives with us and it was a great help. I had minor surgery after and I needed lots of help. I was sore for the first two weeks and not able to cook, clean lor stand for for more than 5-10mins at a time. It's a lot of help if you get along well and does not stress you out having that person around for any amount of time. Good luck.
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    I agree with PP about clarifying what you need from your mom while she stays with you.  It's great to have an extra pair of hands to help with the baby, but they shouldn't expect you to be playing hostess.  You're job is to rest up, recover, and bond with your baby, so it would be great if your mom could help with cooking and household chores.  The amount of time is really up to you, but most women don't start feeling "normal" again until about 7-10 days postpartum.  Your mom's help through that time would probably be useful.
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    First 1-2 wks - My dad who lives 3 hours away would come for a couple of days each week, ran errands, grocery shopped, and cooked us meals.

    Next 3-3.5 wks, my mom came and stayed with us, she did the cooking and laundry (folding only she couldn't figure out how to start it), held the baby while I ate and my dad still came a couple of days each week ran errands and grocery shopped.

    I much preferred the come couple days each week method vs staying with us 1.5 wks straight. Since this is the 2nd time I've gone through this I asked my mom to prepare lots of food to freeze so once she left I didn't have to prepare as much food. 

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    With DS my mom stayed 2 weeks and that was way too long for me. I know she meant well and she was helpful, it was just a very stressful time. I was trying to figure everything out and my hormones were all out of wack. With DD she only stayed a week and that was MUCH better for me.

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    It totally depends on your relationship with the parent. My mom came for a couple of days after DS was born and comes to stay with us overnight once every couple of weeks since. They live 3 hours away.

    She's a great help because she'll just see stuff that needs to be done and take care of it. I'll turn around the the dishes are done, the laundry's folded without her even mentioning it.

    My MIL came a little over a week after DS was born. She didn't even stay with us and she still managed to drive me crazy. She'd sit around and b!tch about how she didn't feel like she was helping. If I asked her to do anything, it'd take twice as long to explain how to do it and then she'd make some big stinkin' deal out of the whole thing. She was constantly contradicting me, doing things I'd specifically asked her not to, and making comments about how I was doing things wrong. No thanks!

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    Both my mom and MIL stayed with us for 3 weeks (at the same time).  They flew in the night I went into labor (that was stressful for me).  In the weeks leading up to their arrival, I was totally dreading it.  However, in hindsight, it was great having them with us for that time.

    Every day they cooked us breakfast, lunch, and dinner, cleaned the kitchen, swept and vacuumed the floors, held DS while I showered (when DH was at work), etc.  Before they left, they cooked tons of food for me to freeze.  They were a great help. 

    Of course, there were moments when I couldn't take their unwelcomed advice anymore (such as, why aren't you giving the baby water to drink?), but the positives outweighed the negatives.

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    She's a great help because she'll just see stuff that needs to be done and take care of it. I'll turn around the the dishes are done, the laundry's folded without her even mentioning it.

    My mom does this exactly, with a few hours of holding the baby, too.  I love it.  She held the baby once for a full half hour while he was a bit fussy so I could take a shower in peace.  It was awesome.  :)

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    My mom stayed with us for just a few days after LO was born and she was so helpful and awesome, especially since DH couldnt take any time off work. I wish she could have stayed longer, but she had her own job to get back to...6hrs away.

    I would just make sure that if you do ask someone, it is (obviously) not someon who annoys you after only short periods of time. And dont be afraid to ask for what you need help with. If i needed a break from the baby, i would ask my mom to tend to her and i would cook dinner. If she was cluster feeding then i would ask her to whip up something to eat.

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    Also, when my mom stayed with us, she would sometimes sleep in the baby's room to take care of him during the night so I could sleep (DH was back to work, so he wasn't on night-time duty).  Even when I was breastfeeding, she'd sleep in the baby's room so she could change his diaper, rock him back to sleep, etc., and only bring him to me when he needed to be fed.  This was a great help because after 1 week of me trying to be superwoman, my body felt like it was going to breakdown on day 7, and I had to give in and let her help me at nights.
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    My ILs came to "help" and it sucked ass.  Seriously, they did NOTHING.  It was another person to do laundry for, cook for, clean for, etc.  Plus we had no alone time.

    On the other hand, my sister was here when LO was born and was awesome (ran errands, watched the dogs, etc).  My mom came and helped after he came home and was awesome (cooked, cleaned, made food, etc). 

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    My mom stayed with us for about 10 days after I brought him home from the NICU. In many ways, it was helpful. She cooked, cleaned, did whatever I needed her to do and even watched LO one night so we could have a date night. It eventually got annoying though but mostly because of her personality, not for any other reason.
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    My mom came and took care of DS1 the first week. She also helped with dinner and cleaning the kitchen and got DS1 out of the house so I could get some sleep while DS2 was napping. She also took DS1 home with her (my parents live an hour away) the next week to give me more time to recover since I had a c-section. It was so helpful since DS1 still requires a lot of attention!

    When DS1 was born she also stayed a week and I was glad she was there although I think we would have been fine since I didn't have a toddler to look after and DS1 was a very very easy newborn.

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    DH and I live a flight away from our families, so neither family had the liberty of driving to visit us when LO was born.  I asked my mom to wait until about 3 weeks after my due date to schedule her flight.  DH gets 1 week paternity leave from his job, so I thought it would be nice for us to have some bonding time as a family before my mom comes.  He went back to work, then my mom came to help around the house.  She helped with both the baby and housework- basically anything I asked her to do.  I was glad I had her wait until later to come because 3 weeks after LO was born I felt comfortable going out for a few hours with DH for a "date night" and left my mom home with LO.  Only a week or 2 after LO was born I might not have felt comfortable with that yet.  This was our first baby, so when I have a toddler running around I'm sure I'll need the help much sooner!

     

     

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    My DH is on parental leave for 9 months so he was home with me right from day 1. I'm soooo glad we didn't have anyone stay with us. We had family visit the first weekend we were home and it was just annoying.

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    We had my mom stay with us for 3 nights after I got out of the hospital... and let me first start by saying, my mom can be the overbearing, makes up advice, thinks that BFing is hippie dippie stuff, likes to move stuff around, put stuff away before you're done with it, bring you cleaning supplies you don't want as a 'nudge' to do some cleaning... kind of mom. All that said, I still found it extremely helpful to have her come stay with us. I really needed to nap that first little while, and truthfully, we had no idea what we were doing. So, if you can take the visitors 'careful suggestions' and annoying tactics (if there are any) with a grain of salt, I'd say do it, and be thankful for someone to cuddle your LO while you nap, nap, nap! Congrats and GL!
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    My mom stayed with us 1.5 wks after DS was born and 2 wks after DD was born.  With DS, she flew up the day we were coming home from the hospital, with DD she flew up the night before my induction.

    I specifically asked her to come this long as my mom is not overbearing.  She is eager to please and constantly worried that she could be in the way, so she doesn't do anything without asking if it's ok.  She cooked a ton.  She did laundry but asked me where it went.  She went grocery shopping with a list that I made.  And especially important, she played with and took care of DS the 2nd time around, which is huge b/c most ppl really just want to come play with the new baby.

    That all said, we had my FIL for a week and my MIL for 2 wks (separately) after DS was born.  It was super stressful and both just made me wish I could run away back to work.  I hid a lot in my bedroom under the premise of BFing.  They seemed to expect that I was going to cook meals and act as a host.  And yet, my DH invited MIL to come visit for 2 wks at the end of this month.  I plan on being much more vocal to him if issues arise this time around. 

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    My mom and dad stayed with us the week DD was born and they were a big help. DH is a restaurant manager and couldn't take his vacation until a few days after she was born. It was nice having some one there at night with me. They would leave during the day when DH was home and let us have some family time. My mom cooked, cleaned, and did laundry while my dad ran errands for me. MIL came for the second week and I thought I was going to kill her. We do not have a close relationship to begin with so the fact that she sat her ass on the couch and expected DH to wait on her pissed me off. She also came the week DH was on vacation so we had no alone time because she was constantly around. I do not think we will ever have a good relationship after the crap she pulled during her visit.
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