Fiances mother not ready to be a grandma.

MirandaL.

My fiances family and him have had arguments as families usually do, but they always end up discussing the problem and everything works out.  Ever since we told them that we were expecting, his mother has been so upset and his step-dad is extatic.  She told her friends that she is basically not ready to be a grandma.  She did not call him for two weeks, then one day wants to have just him over to talk.  She doesn't think he is ready and doesn't want him to grow up, he left crying because his family has basically turned their backs on him ever since we broke the news. Why does she have to be like this?  This is supposed to be a happy and joyful time in everyones lives and it is their first grandchild.  It is my mothers second and she is so excited, i have a son that is 5, we are happy i just wish she would accept it and be happy too.  I wish that they could work everything out and go visit them, but part of me feels like if we do then i will not be accepted and this whole thing will get started all over again.  I have cried everytime he has come home and told me everyhing she has said about how she feels, i do not think it is right and she makes me feel guilty for getting pregnant.  Any advice will be greatly appreciated

Under.the.Rose

She's being ridiculous. There's nothing you can do to change her opinion, so just tell her to stop whining about it to you and your DH because it's rude and upsetting. If she doesn't stop, then just keep your distance (and tell her why). It's really NOT worth it. 

Also, since it's his mother HE needs to be the one to take the stand... otherwise you'll just end up looking like the enemy.  

The whole world isn't going to be jumping up and down excited for you guys, you can't let it bring you down.  

 

cwie828

If I can be brutally honest, your MIL is being an absolutely ridiculous, selfish b*tch. I would have no desire to have her in my child's life if she cannot "handle" being a grandma.

Honestly, I can never keep my mouth shut and I would probably say something along the lines of "I'm ready to be a mother, so I really do not care if you are ready to be a grandmother." but that would not get you anywhere.

Eventually she will come around. She will probably see your mother being involved and having a relationship with the child and get jealous and want to be important too. Ugh. People like this just disgust me.

2010mommy!

honestly, when i read posts about family/in laws/friends/etc. being negative about someone's pregnancy, all i can think is how pathetic they are. how sorry and sad and pathetic your fiance's mother is. i'm sorry i'm being so forthcoming. but i think every pregnancy is a joyful event, and for people who want to spoil that--they're just seriously selfish. not to say that they have to be overly excited about it, but they certainly don't have to be negative about it!!

sorry you have to deal with this.

Ivana_Stolichnaya

She needs to put her big girl panties on and grow up.

MirandaL.

I definately think selfish is the perfect word for this whole situation.  I think that if she were a little more supportive and not so negative then i would be okay, but it seems like she shows no happiness just upset that she can't control everything.  Thank you everyone for being so supportive!

gekeler6

Tell her she doesn't have to be a grandma if she chooses not to....I would stop talking to his side of the family.  Personally I do away with these types of people in my life....there is no room for them and I personally can't stand negative/hurtful people.