They don't want our embryos.....

LisaandBryan

I'm suprised and very upset by this. Maybe it just because I am hormonal and pregnant but I was out running errands this morning and when I cam home there was a message for our fertility clinic saying while they appreicate the offer they can't accept the embryos that we wanted to donate.  Whny you ask?  Well becauase my husband has a very mild blood clotting disorder called Von Willebrands disease.  Believe me when I say it's mild and really has no impact on his life . I haven't even had the boys tested for it yet butI will at some point.  I can't imagine that an infertile couple would refuse our embryos because of this?  Not to mention the fact that these are high quality blastocysts that have been  testted by PGCD 24 chromosome testing so it guarantees they are normal.

Like I said I really upset by this. I am not comfortable having them destroyed and was more than happy to dontate them.  Is there anything else I can do?  I know here are websites out tghere for poeple looking for donated embryos but I really don't know anything about that as I was doing this through our clinic.  Would you be upset by this or I am overreacting???

wille2b

nightlight snowflake embryo adoption will take "special case" embryos and list the clotting disorder so people are aware of it. i would check them out

and yes, i would be upset..

MBandBud

Oh I don't think you are overreacting at all by being upset by this.  However, I understand they have these types of policies in place for a reason.  I definitely encourage you to seek out other avenues.  From someone who was not comfortable having leftover embryos and limited fert because of this, I would definitely be upset over not being able to donate them.  I feel confident that there is some other options for your embryos.  Keep plugging away at finding out what those are.  So sorry you are dealing with this.  IF doesn't end with a baby, ugh!

dusk42

That sucks, but just know that it is 100% a legal/liability fear on the part of the clinic - people are just too willing to sue over everything.  Your embryos are perfect, and I'm sure there are lots of people who would love to adopt them.

Dr.Loretta

I get the feeling there are plenty of people who would shy away from anything that says "clotting disorder", even if it's mild and the embryos have been tested.

That being said, I'm sure there are other places who may take them. My adoption agency just started an embryo adoption program. There are some out there, and you may just have to look before you find one that works with you/for you.

Yes, it's upsetting, but all is not lost.

firsttogo

MBandBud:

Oh I don't think you are overreacting at all by being upset by this.  However, I understand they have these types of policies in place for a reason.  I definitely encourage you to seek out other avenues.  From someone who was not comfortable having leftover embryos and limited fert because of this, I would definitely be upset over not being able to donate them.  I feel confident that there is some other options for your embryos.  Keep plugging away at finding out what those are.  So sorry you are dealing with this.  IF doesn't end with a baby, ugh!

This totally! I think it would be upsetting, but if you turn it around, and are in the position of embryo adoption, would you want an embryo with any possibility of a disorder no matter how mild? And If I am  not mistaken, can't VWD can be a concern for some right? 

LisaandBryan

Dr.Loretta:

I get the feeling there are plenty of people who would shy away from anything that says "clotting disorder", even if it's mild and the embryos have been tested.

 

Really you think so? I ddint' think that there was an aboundance of donated embryos out there so I thought people would be willing to accept something like that if they really want a child through donation.  I mean there's no gurantee the child will have the disease.  My DH's brother who also has VWD has 2 kids and neither of them have it.

 

Yellow_Daisy

I'm actually shocked that they wouldn't take them because of von willebrands.  I have terrible nose bleeds and was tested for this clotting disorder and my doc said it is very very common and most people don't even know they have it because it is a rather benign clotting disorder. 

I would definitely try some other clinics or the organization that PP mentioned.  

Good Luck!

marcuej

I'm so sorry.  I would feel hurt too! 

Have you considered donating them to science?  DH and I donated ours to stem cell research and it feels so good being a part of something that could help save lives.  It made parting with them a lot easier for me.

Of course, I know it's a very personal choice to you may have considered this and do not feel comfortable with it.

WillisReincarnated

LisaandBryan:

Dr.Loretta:

I get the feeling there are plenty of people who would shy away from anything that says "clotting disorder", even if it's mild and the embryos have been tested.

 

Really you think so? I ddint' think that there was an aboundance of donated embryos out there so I thought people would be willing to accept something like that if they really want a child through donation.  I mean there's no gurantee the child will have the disease.  My DH's brother who also has VWD has 2 kids and neither of them have it.

 

I agree with dr l. We looked at donor embryos and I can tell you that we would not have accepted these embryos. It would be such a long shot for me to get and stay pregnant that we would have looked for as perfect an embryo as possible. And even though they tested normal, I'd be too concerned about the what ifs. With that said,, I totally think you should look into private agencies and I do understand why you are upset.

lrrb

You need to find an adoption agency and not just a "donation" that will solve your problem bc you will be able to disclose all of that and the real info on your husbands disorder so parents are able to make decisions for themselves and not the clinic making the decision for them.

stepgirl21

I would be freaking out! I don't know anything about other places you could donate thought. I really hope you can find a place to do so. Keep us posted. I'm curious to know how it works.

s.s.girl

I'm so sorry. As another person with mild von wildebrands I feel your pain on what that diagnosis does. My von wildebrands literally does not impact my life at all but it's why they wouldn't let me be conscious for my c-section.

It makes me automatically denied for many insurances and the dr. wouldn't pull my wisdom teeth. So stupid. I would be upset too especially because I know how low impact mild von wildebrands is in life.  

withlove777

I'm in tears reading from all of you that are considering donating your embryos. We're currently on a clinic's wait list, but are also trying to find someone (either IRL or online) that is looking to donate.  We really feel that we want to at least give any child(ren) the option to contact the genetic family when they are older if they wish to.  I would love to speak with any of you if you're still looking to donate. Thank you so much! I can't imagine how hard of a decision this is for you.