1st Trimester

I'm pregnant... And have nothing!

I found out last Monday that I'm 12 weeks pregnant.  Completely shocked because I haven't had any major symptoms that screamed "OMG, I'm pregnant"  Now, I'm starting to worry.  Other than being completely shocked about becoming a mom, I also have a couple other things going on.  I just got out of a really bad/abusive relationship with the baby's father and to get away from him I had to leave everything I had and retreat to my parents in a different state.  Now, I'm living at home with my parents with no job (no one want to hire something that's pregnant and living in a small town means everyone already knows), no car (which scares me because what if something really bad happens), and I don't want to bring the father into this because I don't want to put my baby through what he put me through.  How am I suppose to get on my feet?  I feel helpless right now and it has me in a really bad place.  I guess I just need some input.  Thanks

Re: I'm pregnant... And have nothing!

  • Most states have some sort of health insurance for pregnant women and kids under 18.  Also, a lot of crisis pregnancy centers have things like maternity clothing and baby gear that they give to people who need it.

    You still have quite a while left in your pregnancy, so you have time to start figuring things out.

    Finally, newborns really need very little.  A few outfits, a place to sleep, and a breast can keep a baby happy for months...

     Good luck...

  • I am sure this news is shocking but I disagree that you have nothing. It might feel like that now, but you have your new life and health. You have parents that sound like that they are willing to help you get back on your feet. Most of all, you have the smarts and strength to leave an unhealthy relationship. All of these things will help you be a good mom.

    Take it one step at a time. There are programs to help you out. Talk things out with people you trust. If you can't find a job, maybe you can take some classes to help you get a job after the baby arrives? Good luck.

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  • I am SO happy for you that you got away from that relationship. I agree with the previous poster in that you now have SO MUCH! You now have the ability to assure your future child that Mommy made an awesome decision to start over so that YOU could a safe and wonderful life. That being said, you are in my prayers and I know that all will be okay.

     

    1. Locate the local WIC office for food assistance

    2. Apply for Food Stamps/CashAssistance and Medicaid in your state.

    3. Speak to a local Women's Abuse Center, so you can talk to someone and help you rebound.

    4. No matter your affiliation, find the local Church of Christ in your area, speak to the minister or an elder and I know they'll be more than happy to help!

     

    Great luck and again congrats on the future little one and having the courage to start a new life! 

  • imageskittlesj526:

    I am SO happy for you that you got away from that relationship. I agree with the previous poster in that you now have SO MUCH! You now have the ability to assure your future child that Mommy made an awesome decision to start over so that YOU could a safe and wonderful life. That being said, you are in my prayers and I know that all will be okay.

     

    1. Locate the local WIC office for food assistance

    2. Apply for Food Stamps/CashAssistance and Medicaid in your state.

    3. Speak to a local Women's Abuse Center, so you can talk to someone and help you rebound.

    4. No matter your affiliation, find the local Church of Christ in your area, speak to the minister or an elder and I know they'll be more than happy to help!

     

    Great luck and again congrats on the future little one and having the courage to start a new life! 

     

    This exactly!!  

     My sister was in the exact same situation.  Things happen, but babies are such a blessing.  My sister applied for Medicaid and WIC and didn't have to pay a single doctors bill.  She ended up being high risk and her baby only lived for about 6 weeks.. without medicaid, the NICU and doctor visit costs would have been about a million... or more.  nobody can pay that..

    Good Luck and you can always come here for support! :) 

    Skittles are you a member of the Church of Christ, too?  :) 

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  • everyone had good advice but not one person said pray... in any situation, even if you dnt have anything, u need to know that u always have God.  God will help you through your toughest times, and wont complain about a thing.  begin your prayer with dear God and end it with in jesus name i pray, and u are set. God will never give u too much, he  chose u to go through this because he knew u were strong enough.
  • imagewaitingtobemommy:
    everyone had good advice but not one person said pray... in any situation, even if you dnt have anything, u need to know that u always have God.  God will help you through your toughest times, and wont complain about a thing.  begin your prayer with dear God and end it with in jesus name i pray, and u are set. God will never give u too much, he  chose u to go through this because he knew u were strong enough.

    Very true, I do believe in the Lord and the power of prayer, but some people do not.  I didn't suggest it because the OP did not hint that she was religious and I don't just assume everyone is a Christian.  

    Prayer is very good and very helpful, but I personally believe that God helps those that help themselves.. we must be proactive in getting help and working to get the things we need. Yes, you do always have God- and with that, we have hope that things will get better if we keep his commandments and remain diligent.

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  • imagewaitingtobemommy:
    everyone had good advice but not one person said pray... in any situation, even if you dnt have anything, u need to know that u always have God.  God will help you through your toughest times, and wont complain about a thing.  begin your prayer with dear God and end it with in jesus name i pray, and u are set. God will never give u too much, he  chose u to go through this because he knew u were strong enough.

    Wish I could live in this dream world. 

    Let's be serious here.  Sitting around praying may make her feel better for trying but isn't going to get her anywhere practically.  She will have to follow the advice that everyone has suggested and do for herself and this baby.  No amount of praying will get everything done for her.  Also, hopefully her parents will be a source of support and love for them both, as they already are supporting her to get her out of this relationship.  

    OP-all hope is not lost, it won't be easy, but you can do this.  I wish you the best of luck. 

     

     


    BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
    BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
    BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
    BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
    Our little man is getting bigger every day!
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  • imageMrs.DeliaMarieP:

    imagewaitingtobemommy:
    everyone had good advice but not one person said pray... in any situation, even if you dnt have anything, u need to know that u always have God.  God will help you through your toughest times, and wont complain about a thing.  begin your prayer with dear God and end it with in jesus name i pray, and u are set. God will never give u too much, he  chose u to go through this because he knew u were strong enough.

    Wish I could live in this dream world. 

    Let's be serious here.  Sitting around praying may make her feel better for trying but isn't going to get her anywhere practically.  She will have to follow the advice that everyone has suggested and do for herself and this baby.  No amount of praying will get everything done for her.  Also, hopefully her parents will be a source of support and love for them both, as they already are supporting her to get her out of this relationship.  

    OP-all hope is not lost, it won't be easy, but you can do this.  I wish you the best of luck. 

    Yes.

    OP: You should also check out the Single Parents board, they seem to have lots of excellent advice. Best of luck to you.

    DS 04.25.08 DS 03.14.12 missed m/c 9w1d :: 6.18.10 :: d&c | missed m/c 9w3d :: 11.2.10 :: d&c
  • Combination of prayer/trust in God or a higher power and taking the right steps...which everyone listed very good ones.  Hope and faith aren't things that  hurt but taking some action is also part of the equation...but neither can be done exclusively.
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  • imageadiddy33:
    Combination of prayer/trust in God or a higher power and taking the right steps...which everyone listed very good ones.  Hope and faith aren't things that  hurt but taking some action is also part of the equation...but neither can be done exclusively.

    This. Faith without works is dead. Have faith that you can get through this, and God will give you the courage to put one foot infront of the other, until you find yourself on more stable ground. Also, you may be surprised at the compassion and understanding of other people. I live in a very small town, and many people would be more than happy to help a MTB if they had a job opening. You won't know until you try.

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  • I'm sorry for the situation that you're in, but I'm glad that you were able to get away from a bad relationship. As far as the work situation goes, it is illegal to discriminate based on pregnancy (just like race and age). If anyone has told you that they won't hire you because of the pregnancy, or you strongly suspect that is the case, you need to report them to your state EEO board. You can probably just google the information. Also, if you get an interview, you do not have to tell them that you are pregnant. They cannot ask you about that, or what your plans are for work after you have the baby. I hope this helps!
  • I want to simply thank everyone for posting.  This has helped me more than I even thought it would.  I guess looking at it from a different point of view was the true key all along.  It took everything in my heart and soul to get away from the situation that I had gotten myself into and with that being said I couldn't be happier now, even though I'm living at home.  My baby is a blessing to me just because I never thought it would happen to me and now I'm going to be a great mommy, no matter what I have to do.  My child will know love and affection now matter what happens from now until I give birth.  I would rather be a single mommy, than have my baby go through the craziness and mental/emotional abuse I dealt with.  My baby is now my world!
  • Yes I am a member of the Church of Christ. I attend Springhill Road Church of Christ in Tallahassee, FL. You?
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