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Parenting
Contradictory Parenting Advice - Vent
I'm due in less than 2 weeks and perhaps it's hormones, but I'm really starting to get irritated with all the "medical and scientific" baby advice I've been getting. My husband and I have gone to a pre-natal class and I don't read too many baby books, but some of the advice that I've heard either doesn't make sense to me, contradicts itself with another form of advice or just sounds a little bit TOO paranoid.
Examples:
1) I know sleeping baby on its back is insisted upon by pretty much everyone, but no one seems to be able to tell me WHY except for that is MAY be ONE of the causes of SIDS. So is co-sleeping and yet that's "ok", just recommended not done. What if your baby doesn't like sleeping on its back? I've heard plenty of pros for sleeping baby on its side or tummy and it's only con, like I said, is the potential risk of SIDS (obviously, I would not want anything to happen to my baby... there just seems to be a lack of actual evidence to support this... I'd like to see studies, stats, etc? Anywhere?). Plus, in my first aid courses (I'm a lifeguard), one of the first things we are taught to do with a victim is to lie them on their side in case they vomit, it can run out of their mouths. If a newborn is sleeping on their back and vomits in the middle of the night, where does it GO?!?! To me, choking on throw up seems like the more plausible risk.
2) Don't use a soother/pacifier within the first few weeks of trying to breastfeed. I have been told it will confuse the baby. Perhaps I'm giving babies a little too much credit (?) but it seems to me that if the baby is actually hungry and I try to stick a soother in its mouth, it will spit it back out and continue crying until I try to feed it. Plus, I don't feel like being a human pacifier and just let the baby suck on me whenever and however long it wants... babies just like sucking!!!
3) Crib bumpers is a HUGE one!! So now everyone is all against crib bumpers because they could reduce oxygen flow through the crib or the baby could roll into it during the night and suffocate. First of all, are these the same people who claim the baby's not strong enough to turn its head to the side to breathe if it's suffocating sleeping on its tummy but is somehow able to roll itself from the middle of the crib and bury its face into a bumper? Also, I just really want to know, if it's THAT dangerous, why every single baby store I've been in (specialty or big box) sells all kinds of crib bumpers?! Wouldn't it have been recalled or banned by now if that was the case? They ban everything else for less!!
Anyways, again, perhaps it's hormones... But if you are already a parent, what are your thoughts on all this "medical" and "safety" advice you get? Do you take it or leave it?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Contradictory Parenting Advice - Vent
Way more babies have died from SIDS than choking on their vomit/spit up. Since the Back to Sleep campaign started less kids have died of SIDS. Sleeping on back does not mean they cannot die of SIDS but it does reduce the risk.
2) Don't use a soother/pacifier within the first few weeks of trying to breastfeed. I have been told it will confuse the baby. Perhaps I'm giving babies a little too much credit (?) but it seems to me that if the baby is actually hungry and I try to stick a soother in its mouth, it will spit it back out and continue crying until I try to feed it. Plus, I don't feel like being a human pacifier and just let the baby suck on me whenever and however long it wants... babies just like sucking!!!
I did not BF so I cannot say
3) Crib bumpers is a HUGE one!! So now everyone is all against crib bumpers because they could reduce oxygen flow through the crib or the baby could roll into it during the night and suffocate. First of all, are these the same people who claim the baby's not strong enough to turn its head to the side to breathe if it's suffocating sleeping on its tummy but is somehow able to roll itself from the middle of the crib and bury its face into a bumper? Also, I just really want to know, if it's THAT dangerous, why every single baby store I've been in (specialty or big box) sells all kinds of crib bumpers?! Wouldn't it have been recalled or banned by now if that was the case? They ban everything else for less!!
No, there are plenty of unsafe products on the market. And yes, my DS actually flipped from back to stomach while still in the hospital so probably about 3 or 4 days old, he did not do it again until 3 weeks old but that is very early, just because he can roll into the corner does not mean he can roll back especially because they tend to be able to roll to one side earlier than to the other, so they can roll across a room but not roll back. A babies head is the heaviest part of their body so if they are laying especially on the stomach it is sometimes too heavy for them to turn. And they will not necessarily think having their face buried in a bumper is bad and it does not need to be touching the bumper to allow enough carbon dioxide to develop to overcome a baby. Why risk it for a cute bumper?
1) Back to sleep is recommended because statistically it reduces the incidence of SIDS. Other factors include smoking in the home, overly hot sleeping conditions and too-soft sleeping surfaces. It is not cause and effect. Your baby will not die if s/he sleeps on his or her tummy. Personally, I let my babies sleep on their tummies (dirty little secret) because they simply would not sleep on their backs. But, try the back first. Lots of kids like it. And it will give you peace of mind.
2) Pacifiers are ok in my book. I've never known or heard of IRL a baby who got confused.
3) Baby stores sell crib bumpers because baby stores are in the business of selling things and making a profit. I am surprised as well but I would never, ever have a bumper on a crib. It is completely unnecessary.
the contradictory stuff will continue....pretty sure it lasts forever. LOL. Get some thick skin and learn to let the crap roll off your back.
2/3 of my kids had no problem sleeping on their backs (one child was colicky and wouldn't sleep...period. front, back, side, anything...she just cried. A.LOT) So we did it...it gave me peace of mind knowing the statistics are higher for SIDS deaths.
My kids never had nipple confusion...welll only 2/3 took a pacy. All 3 kids I asked the nurses in the hospital for the pacifier, and one time the nurse was like 'well, I don't know, I need to ask the lactation consultant" and i got a little (lot) hormonal induced biligerant. "oh...did the lactation consultant give birth to this child... because she probably needs to come in and sooth the screaming child, NOW....or you can get me a pacifier" The nurse got it and sure enough a couple hours later the LC came in and started screaming "Where did she get the pacifier? Which nurse gave that to her!" and I let her have it....total b!tch....(I let her have it again when my son was born and she p!ssed me off...I have serious hatred for that lady) And we NEVER had nipple confusion. I can see where BOTTLES could cause it...but pacifiers? never.
Crib bumpers...we didn't use them..my kids never got caught up in the crib either. My mom was SOOOOO worried they would bump their head and hurt themself without the padding...it drove her NUTS..but nothing ever happened without the crib bumper...totally unneccesary. Skip the big crib sets...get some crib sheets and you will probably get blankets at your shower (I seemed to get a MILLION blankets) and you will be set. We didn't use the blankets until around 5 months or so....
Since the Back to Sleep program started, SIDS has been reduced 50%. Source: https://www.nichd.nih.gov/sids/
We don't use bumpers until they start rolling around getting their arms stuck, which was about 4-5 months. By then, the risk of SIDS has declined dramatically enough for me to feel comfortable using them. Before then, they're just for decoration and serve no purpose except to increase the risk of SIDS.
I went against the recommendation and I let both of mine sleep on their belly.
My first took a paci from day one and never had nipple confusing. My second could never figure out how to use a paci. Maybe he had confusion? Who knows? But I tried giving him one all the way up to a year old for teething.
And I used crib bumpers for both. I tied them tight and took the risk. It got pretty annoying going in every 30 minutes because they had an arm or leg stuck out of the crib. We thought DS dislocated his shoulder once when her got stuck when I tried going without it.
Listen to as much as possible, but only use what you want for most things. Make your own decisions.
Relax, you will figure it out!
Just FYI, cosleeping is not related to SIDS:
https://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-co-sleeping-a-sids-danger
1st off - take a huge deep breath and relax. A lot of things will just come naturally or will make more sense once baby is here and you start to learn what your baby likes/needs. To try and address your examples from my experience of a mom of 2 - one who spent a week in the NICU and had a risk for seizures.
Back sleeping has been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS - once they started the back to sleep campaign, the number of SIDS deaths went way down. They are now saying that babies that suck on pacifers also have a lower risk of SIDS - something to do with not getting into as deep of a sleep or something. The use of positions, crib bumpers and anything else in the crib is a huge risk for the baby. Baby (not in the very beginning but once they start moving and moving happens early - not rolling over but moving around by kicking legs, etc) can pull something onto their face and not be able to get it off or move themself up against the bumper or positioner. They do sell breathable crib bumpers but I personally never used them and never had any issues. NOthing should be in the crib with the baby and all the stores selling all the adorable bedding are doing it to make money. All you need are crib sheets and one of those wearable blanket things that zips up and has no arms and warm tight fitting PJ's - I live in MN and trust me, it is all you need even in winter. A baby is not going to choke on their spit up/throw up - they will cry, you will hear them and go get them and even if you don't, they can turn their head. Some things just come naturally even to newborns.
I don't beleive the whole nipple confusion stuff. My older DD was in the NICU and was nursed and bottle feed starting on the same day and never had an issue and she had a pacifer before any of that happened - in the NICU.