1st Trimester

Prayers PLEASE.

Okay, so pardon the lengthy-ness of this post, but if you will read it and comment I would be forever grateful.

So, DH and I are in escrow for a house.  It's a foreclosure and a fixer-upper but it's a project that we would both enjoy... even while being pregnant.  It's across the street from a preschool and about a football field's distance from the greatest park.  It's from the 1960's and has huge potential to be a pretty home aesthetically and physically.  Anyway, a major sex offender has just moved in next door on the right.  To make matters even worse... during our inspection on Friday we discovered that the neigbors to the left are druglords after witnessing  not one, not two, but 3 hand-offs in a 45 minute time slot.  This is a cute town -- and I know every town has it's dirty secrets but I never thought it would be on our street, next to our future house.  So anyway, of course my mommy-guard is going off.  I've been praying and crying and litterally throwing up over the thought of moving into this home.  I should preface this with the fact that I have NEVER been a person who is run by fear.  A few years ago I started a homeless ministy under a bridge surrounded by drug addicts and rough types of people.  But this time I am littlerally scared to the bone... which to me, makes it incredibly valid.  DH for some crazy reason doesn't feel that this is enough of a reason to just walk away -- which he admittedly KNOWS is flawed reasoning.  We have prayed together and talked and seeked counseling from respected members of our church, we have shared with each other asking for God to just close this door if we are not suppossed to live there.  I shared how we are feeling with our real estate agent and our loan lady -- they are both in our corner no matter what we decide -- which helps me breathe a little easier.  I just can't fathom the idea of knowingly moving next to danger with our babies.  I am 9 weeks pregnant and we also have an adorable 14 month old.  If something ever happened to them because of where we chose to put down our roots -- I could not live with myself.  So anyway, if any of you have experience with this type of situation I would appreciate your thoughts.  And for those of you who are the praying type -- please include my family in your prayers tonight.  Thanks. 

-Liz    

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Prayers PLEASE.

  • Personally I would not buy that house and knowingly place my children near a sex offender.  Their safety would come before the 'perfect' house.  I'm sorry you have this tough decision to make.  GL with your decision.  T&P for you and your family.

    ___________________________________________________________________ Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerLilypie Second Birthday tickers

  • Ummm....I'm not even sure how to respond to this.  You couldn't pay me enough to raise my family in between a drug house and a sex offender.  This is pretty much a no-brainer for me.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Loading the player...
  • I live in a "transition" neighborhood. My house is amazing. 103 years old with all original, refinished woodwork, an amazing original fireplace, solid brick... I LOVE my house. Within 2 blocks there is sec 8 housing and a known drug/gang. The housing has since been torn out, but there has been a gang related shooting and 2 murders within 3 blocks? 

    Most recent was a crazed "lover" who killed her BF about 10 houses down. She was on meth. None of the incidents were random and were targeted to the dealers/SO/gang members. I now have the police gang unit # in my phone and they are amazing any time I see anything suspicious.

    I still never feel unsafe in my house or in our yard, but do look around before I walk to or get out of my car. So many of my neighbors are amazing people working very hard to clean up the historic neighborhood... I used to think I could stick it out and do my part, but in all honesty it is just too much.

    We will be moving to the burbs ASAP. I love so many things about the area, but I have seen more guns in one year than I had in my entire life! Since easter, my house has been taped off in a crime scene twice. It is just too much :(

    It sounds like you can handle some of it. I felt that way too. I am a volunteer for our local Homeless Coalition, but the disrespect of some people has turned me so bitter. I feel like I do so much to help those less fortunate, yet some feel the need to walk by my car and casually let me know you are carrying a gun? Shoot at your "gang enemies" on my street? 

  • There are a couple of things you might want to look into..... 1. If this is a registered sex offender they typically are not allowed to live in that close of a proximity to a playground, preschool, etc. I would contact whatever agency handles this and inquire/ report it. 2. I get two notices for every couple of months from the State in regards to two sex offenders living in my general vicinity. I checked the sex offender registry before we made an offer on our home and they were both arrested at age 18 for statutory rape...meaning they probably had sex with their 17 year old girl friend. So I wasn't that concerned...make sure this isn't the case with the person near you. 3. In regards to the drug dealing....contact your local police precinct and se if they are aware of it. You can also request crime statistics in the area of your home. Two weeks ago my neighbors caught another neighbor's teenager dealing pot in the bushes...my neighbor told the parents and the parents of and everyone made it clear we aren't going to tolerate that. Drugs are everywhere unfortunately...I don't think you'd get out of that even in a fancy schmancy neiborhood either. Hope that helps....
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'll be praying for you and your family and that He gives you guidance at this time.  Who knows, maybe having neighbors like you will turn the neighborhood around.  I can't say I'd have the courage to be the trailblazer, but someone has to.  Whether or not that's you and your husband, I pray that you will find comfort in whatever happens.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • HOW can a sex offender live that close to a school??  In all honesty, I would NEVER intentionally move in next to a sex offender or a drug dealer.  I would have to put my children's safety above anything else.   
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I would pass on the house.  IMO, it is just not worth the risk to your family.  From a practical/financial standpoint -- I'd be concerned about resale value.  Any $ and effort you are putting into renovating this home may be wasted if you are unable to resell it later on at a good price because of the neighbors.
  • I'm certainly liberal and have lived/worked in most of the major Northeast cities.  But, when I go home, I want to leave the windows open and enjoy the evening breeze.  I want to be able to let my kids play in the cul-de-sac, without constant supervision.  I want to wake up and know that my car will be there.

    For me, quality of life is so much more important then the house we live in. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Banker's point of view:

    Not sure how far you are in the home-buying process, but you should ALWAYS have what's called a "Right of Recission" when it comes to home products. This means that after everything is said and done, you have 3 days to drop everything and RUN.

    Personal point of view:

    I would try to get out. If you can't, then I would do everything in my power to protect myself and my babies...be aware, when in doubt, call the cops, I'd even put bars on the windows if I had to!! GL and just know that everything that happens is meant to be and that it will be ok one way or another!

    First came love, then came marriage - Oct 31, 09
    Then came a miscarriage March '11
    Then came a baby in the baby carriage May 16, 12

    Waiting on our second little peanut!
    BabyFetus Ticker
    VOTE on my Name List
  • I read your post and I feel for you. I just moved out of a not so lovely neighborhood.

    If it were me, I would find another place. I truly believe God doesn't want you to be scared to any degree because fear doesn't come from him. In fact I think he gives us red flags so that we stay away from certain things. I know you have a heart for people but that doesn't mean you have to compromise your desire to feel safe. Follow your peace, follow your gut. lol (no pun intended) hehe

  • I didn't read this entire thing, but isn't it illegal for a sex offender to live within a certain distance from the school? How do you know he's a sex offender? Did someone inform you/did you look him up?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • So here's an update.  As of 3:30 yesterday we have decided to back out!  (Thank you Jesus!)

    I was on the phone with the local police department all morning and they confirmed that the sex offender actually has a legal right to be there because his conviction and time served was before Jessica's law went into play and he is not on parole.  They did tell me, that while he has not been busted for touching a child since the issue in 1993 with his step daughter that he has been busted on possessional charges with child pornography.  As far as the meth house goes -- it's actually the biggest one in Solano County and hasn't been shut down because they are trying to get this drug lord's provider -- whatever that means.  Anyway -- all I can say is PRAISE GOD that my husband and I are on the same page and we have decided to back out!!!

    YAY!  Thank you ladies for your thoughts and prayers.  Yes we lost some money -- but it's worth it to keep my babies safe.  <3 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"