At my wit's end with crying toddler....please help?

DarrenandHana

My two year old cries and screams at the smallest things!  So as the day goes on, it seems like she pretty much cries nonstop and I have no clue how to handle it. Do you punish for excessive screaming and crying?  

I used to think this was a phase, but it's gone on for about 5 months and I'm about to lose it.  I'm starting to run into the "boy who cried wolf" problem when it comes to her hurting herself, too...I never know if she's actually in pain because she acts like she's in pain ALL the time! What do I do?

NicoleWI

I don't know if this is "right" or not, but what usually works for us is, once it's excessive, telling her that we're all done with that crying and she can go cry in her room if she wants. When she's all done crying, she can come out. Strangely, it seems to work. Sometimes she fake-cries for awhile, but she eventually comes out smiling.

jesspacatc

I have one of these too.  We have melt downs over just about everything.  At some point I think it is a phase, but realistically, I think its just my daughter's personality.  It gets worse when she's tired, but we had a 45 minute meltdown the other day because she wanted to wear a particular set of shoes.  Just don't give in.  When she starts her meltdown, I usually just put her on the floor in a different room and let her do it.  If she's not getting the attention and not getting her way it eventually stops. 

We went through the pain thing too.  It was because when she got "hurt" at daycare they gave her attention and ice.  Unless she starts crying first, I pretty much ignore every trip, fall and bump, because if I ask if she's ok, the littlest thing will get her crying.

Good luck.

DarrenandHana

Thanks, guys!  I did a little online searching and I think maybe I just need to stay calm and monotone and not let her get under my skin.  But seriously, she just started screaming because I stood up too fast for her.  Really?

pinknblue828

I hate to say it, but my DD was like this for about a year and there are still some days that she loses it over everything. Two things that I have found to be helpful for us are: 1.giving her more attention. She really started acting like this when I had DS and although I thought she was getting plenty of attention, I realized she really just wanted more one on one time with me and 2. when she does start screaming and crying I tell her, "Mommy can't hear you when you talk like that.When you are ready to use your big girl voice, then I can talk to you."

 Sometimes I feel like it's just her personality, but I am praying that it is just a phase. I'm sorry you are going through this too. I've often felt like I was going to lose it myself. 

hero

She's not even 2. How verbal is she? She might be crying because she can't verbalize why she is crying. Have you ruled out any legitimate medical reasons for the crying? An allergy, maybe? 

beth&anth

When dd goes through these phases, I keep my voice calm and sit her on the couch and tell her when she's done, she can get up. 

Emilia0101

My DD is super sensitive to. For example yesterday I had to work she stayed home with DH all day they had a blast. I come home and she starts falling apart almost trying to punish me for leaving her all day. I have accepted it is her personality. I try to stay calm and like the PP said I will tell her we don't cry for no reason then put her in her room. She will scream like she is dying for about 2 minutes then come out and say she is sorry and smiling. I think attention is like oil and fire during a meltdown. Stay calm it gets better

tqsbride

DS was like this when he was 2, all the time.  I tried my best to remain calm, keep a neutral face and often walk away  Often, once I was out of sight, the crying would stop.  If I tried to punish or acknowledge the behavior (which usually meant me losing my temper too) it only escalated his reaction--leading to a full on tantrum. 

I also found if I could stop it right at the start by offering a distraction, I could squash the issue?  Things as simple as let's go outside, go to the kitchen, go visit the dog, etc.

davis0905

tqsbride:

DS was like this when he was 2, all the time.  I tried my best to remain calm, keep a neutral face and often walk away  Often, once I was out of sight, the crying would stop.  If I tried to punish or acknowledge the behavior (which usually meant me losing my temper too) it only escalated his reaction--leading to a full on tantrum. 

I also found if I could stop it right at the start by offering a distraction, I could squash the issue?  Things as simple as let's go outside, go to the kitchen, go visit the dog, etc.

Ditto.  I think this is really quite normal behavior for a 2 yr old (or almost 2 year old).  DD whines a lot too, and of course it is worse when she's hungry or tired. So, keeping a regular schedule for naps and meals/snacks is important. But I find that re-directing her to something that interests her is really the best way to respond...a lot of times she's just bored and needs my help in finding something for her to do.  For us, a good distraction is "do you want to have a tea party?"  She usually goes for that one!  She gets out her play dishes and focuses on that.  Or suggesting we go outside is usually effective too. 

Bugg22

NicoleWI:

I don't know if this is "right" or not, but what usually works for us is, once it's excessive, telling her that we're all done with that crying and she can go cry in her room if she wants. When she's all done crying, she can come out. Strangely, it seems to work. Sometimes she fake-cries for awhile, but she eventually comes out smiling.

ditto this. It has always worked like a charm for us. I feel like doing this enforces that it is fine to get your emotions out but there is a proper place to do so.