I chose she looked good and I didn't care. I honestly didn't really think about it. Both of my parents where pretty fit growing up and my sister and I shared clothes with my mom so she was far from frumpy. I wonder if they had been unfit and frumpy how I would have felt about that growing up.
I will say that in the past few years both of my parents put on a lot of weight and I have been very disappointed by that. They both had health issues that putting on weight didn't help. After my Dad had to have double bypass surgery they took that as a huge wakeup call and they both have lost 20 lbs since and are still losing. I don't care if they want to be frumpy (which I wouldn't say either are)...it's the unfit that bothers me because I would like to keep them around for awhile. I'm proud that they are doing something about it.
When I was little and we lived in NYC I was oblivious to her appearance. But when we moved to a superficial suburb where all the moms were petite little things decked out in fashion duds I became very conscious of my mother's appearance. One boy even teased me about her. It was so mean that I honestly still get upset when I think about it.
So it isn't like my mom should have changed her appearance because of bunch of shallow superficial brats looked down on her. But the fact is that it did bother me until I got to an age where I could get over it, sometime in high school.
My mother is in interior design, so dressing well and looking great (regardless of size) are critical to her professional success. So she always looks put together and attractive (sometimes wearing a 2, sometimes a 10, but everything looks good on her body at the time) because she runs a business out of the house and anyone she meets anywhere may become a prospective client. Even her yoga and running clothes are coordinated and nice looking because she's gotten quite a few clients from walking at the same park or going to the same yoga class.
Even though she never made a big deal about looks at all (other than setting the example by looking good herself) I noticed kids whose parents always wore sweats or dressed in nicer clothes that didn't flatter their body type. Even when I'm heavy I dress well so I still look put together.
I don't care if they want to be frumpy (which I wouldn't say either are)...it's the unfit that bothers me because I would like to keep them around for awhile.
This. They were always overweight and not active. That bothered me. My friends went hiking, played tennis, went skiing, etc as a family and we never did those sorts of things. I am trying really hard to make sure we do active, fun things as a family so my kids don't have the same feelings about me!
Susie, mom to DS 4/10/07 and DD 3/6/09 (MC 9/05, 2/06)
The context was someone who did a triathalon and someone posted on her wall about how proud her kids must be and what a great example she is setting. And I thought "I wouldn't have given ashit when I was a child" lol. And then I started thinking more about it...
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When I was little and we lived in NYC I was oblivious to her appearance. But when we moved to a superficial suburb where all the moms were petite little things decked out in fashion duds I became very conscious of my mother's appearance. One boy even teased me about her. It was so mean that I honestly still get upset when I think about it.
So it isn't like my mom should have changed her appearance because of bunch of shallow superficial brats looked down on her. But the fact is that it did bother me until I got to an age where I could get over it, sometime in high school.
My DD just turned 7 and has started to notice that I do not look like the other CT Stepford wives. She has made many comments about it over the last few weeks. They are all very innocent and not intended to hurt my feelings but she'd like me to look more like them. I am hoping that it gives me the kick n the but to do something about it.
IPeople are always shocked that my mom is not my sister. (I PRAY that will be me when my boys are 31!) I don't think I would have ever cared what she dressed like etc as a kid. However, in hindsight I think I it really helped shape how I am now.
I remember my mom doing Jane Fonda (the same video she still does) several times a week. She has always been very health conscious and I am thankful fot that because it taught me to like healthy food. I am a vegetarain and truely love all vegetables lol. I will still eat some crap like the chips/salsa and beer I am having now but in general I have her same eating patterns.
I work out several times a week and feel so much better after I do. I know that having a good role model helped me to go along the right path. I would hope my boys will do the same by watching me.
The one thing I am bad about that I don't remember my mom ever doing is throwing on workout pants/hoodie/ponytail many days of the week!
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I guess in that context I wouldn't have thought the kids were proud of their mom's appearance, per se, but having completed a triathalon. I know lots of athletic women who are also relatively frumpy at times. DS told a mom at school he was proud of me after I finished the SGK 3Day walk, and I assure you, I am both relatively unfit AND frumpy! LOL
My mom always looked nice, but I wouldn't say she was always fit. She worked outside of the home and owned her own business, so she was generally dressed business casual. I don't think I have ever seen her in a pair of jeans.
I remember staring at my mom as she'd put on make-up and get dressed up for "date nights" with my dad... and thinking she was the most beautiful woman ever. In the late 70's/early 80's, she was the bomb... suede suits, gorgeous feathered hair, scarves, platforms... sigh, I only wish she'd saved her stuff, b/c I'd be rocking it today for sure!
She's definitely given up on trying as hard (a few decades, plus a lot of health issues between her and my dad, have forced her to shift her focus, understandably), but I still love that I can look back and remember how lucky I felt to have such a beautiful mom. She's still beautiful to me, but it's definitely not as much of a priority to her now.
A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garrett
A ~ 2.7.06
S ~ 9.2.07
My mom was very overweight & not very stylish- she did not make Exercise nor looks much of a priority with 5 kids, a full-time job, a huge spotless house & a very active volunteer life. She was not a slob or anything-she dressed appropriately for the occasion. I was always very proud of my mom for who she was. She was a "better" mother than my friends moms IMO & that was more than enough for me. I never cared a bit that she wasn't running marathons nor looking like a MILF. She was anything but lazy. I knew she tried to loose weight many times but I felt indifferent to her efforts. I was never teased..in fact the only people that ever really teased me ever were my jackhole older brothers. School was the least of my worries. I grew up in the Midwest--were jeans & sweatshirts are king-LOL. Now she's much different & I really miss the "old" her...she's changed a lot in priorities since moving to Vegas (
The context was someone who did a triathalon and someone posted on her wall about how proud her kids must be and what a great example she is setting. And I thought "I wouldn't have given ashit when I was a child" lol. And then I started thinking more about it...
I would imagine that the great example has nothing to do with looks, but with the accomplishment of completing a triathlon, completely different things IMO. My sister is a triathlete and it's hard work!
My mom was sometimes cleavage mom, and I didn't like it. I love that my mom takes care of herself, but it was a little tough sometimes when we always got "you two are sisters!" comments from guys hitting on her. It didn't help that she was single until I was in college. Now, I understand and appreciate her a little better for being a "hot mom."
Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
My mom was super skinny, short shorts, cleavage, etc. On one hand, all my friends thought she was hot. But it kinda bothered me.
Then I went to college and gained weight. She started sticking Jazzercise pamphlets in with my mail. Gee mom, I get the hint.
Now she is about to turn 50 and has gained like 5 lbs in her middle. She is still a size 4 but b*tches constantly about how she's "getting fat." Infact, she refuses to date and has been single for over 3 years because all the men her age are "fat, balding, and unattractive"
I hope when I am done having kids and in my 40's, I'm just happy with me. I no longer aspire to be a certain pant size, I don't obsess about a number on a scale. I just hope I think I look good, and I hope my DH thinks I look good too!
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My mom, I kid you not, has looked the same since she was 18. She is beautiful, and takes really good care of herself. She never exercised (she has bad asthma) but I remember was always very health-conscious when it came to meal choices. We had home made breakfast and lunch every day, and dinner was always, always sit down, home made. She made an extra effort for that. She always made sure her hair was done up, her make up was on, and she was dressed nicely. She still does.
My dad has always been the same; just a regular guy. He likes to take long walks around the neighborhood but that's about the extent of his physical activities. But he was always pretty health conscious too; we all ate what my mom made and the only "bad" thing he did was drink beer at night. Meh.
My parents outlook on a healthy lifestyle really made its way to my sister and I. I think it's important to look and feel your best. You owe it to your family but most of all you owe it to yourself. I'm not saying go smear on a ton of makeup, but at least make sure that you are presentable when you are around anyone else. Comb your hair. Put on jeans. A little mascara. It goes a long way.
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Re: If your mom was frumpy and unfit, did it bother you growing up?
I chose she looked good and I didn't care. I honestly didn't really think about it. Both of my parents where pretty fit growing up and my sister and I shared clothes with my mom so she was far from frumpy. I wonder if they had been unfit and frumpy how I would have felt about that growing up.
I will say that in the past few years both of my parents put on a lot of weight and I have been very disappointed by that. They both had health issues that putting on weight didn't help. After my Dad had to have double bypass surgery they took that as a huge wakeup call and they both have lost 20 lbs since and are still losing. I don't care if they want to be frumpy (which I wouldn't say either are)...it's the unfit that bothers me because I would like to keep them around for awhile. I'm proud that they are doing something about it.
Liam is 5!
I voted SS b/c I was somewhere between she looked good and I liked it and I didn't care.
I was a typical self-involved teenager, and while I was glad my mom wasn't embarrassing or anything, it wasn't like I really cared.
When I was little and we lived in NYC I was oblivious to her appearance. But when we moved to a superficial suburb where all the moms were petite little things decked out in fashion duds I became very conscious of my mother's appearance. One boy even teased me about her. It was so mean that I honestly still get upset when I think about it.
So it isn't like my mom should have changed her appearance because of bunch of shallow superficial brats looked down on her. But the fact is that it did bother me until I got to an age where I could get over it, sometime in high school.
My mother is in interior design, so dressing well and looking great (regardless of size) are critical to her professional success. So she always looks put together and attractive (sometimes wearing a 2, sometimes a 10, but everything looks good on her body at the time) because she runs a business out of the house and anyone she meets anywhere may become a prospective client. Even her yoga and running clothes are coordinated and nice looking because she's gotten quite a few clients from walking at the same park or going to the same yoga class.
Even though she never made a big deal about looks at all (other than setting the example by looking good herself) I noticed kids whose parents always wore sweats or dressed in nicer clothes that didn't flatter their body type. Even when I'm heavy I dress well so I still look put together.
This. They were always overweight and not active. That bothered me. My friends went hiking, played tennis, went skiing, etc as a family and we never did those sorts of things. I am trying really hard to make sure we do active, fun things as a family so my kids don't have the same feelings about me!
Interesting!
The context was someone who did a triathalon and someone posted on her wall about how proud her kids must be and what a great example she is setting. And I thought "I wouldn't have given ashit when I was a child" lol. And then I started thinking more about it...
My DD just turned 7 and has started to notice that I do not look like the other CT Stepford wives. She has made many comments about it over the last few weeks. They are all very innocent and not intended to hurt my feelings but she'd like me to look more like them. I am hoping that it gives me the kick n the but to do something about it.
IPeople are always shocked that my mom is not my sister. (I PRAY that will be me when my boys are 31!) I don't think I would have ever cared what she dressed like etc as a kid. However, in hindsight I think I it really helped shape how I am now.
I remember my mom doing Jane Fonda (the same video she still does) several times a week. She has always been very health conscious and I am thankful fot that because it taught me to like healthy food. I am a vegetarain and truely love all vegetables lol. I will still eat some crap like the chips/salsa and beer I am having now but in general I have her same eating patterns.
I work out several times a week and feel so much better after I do. I know that having a good role model helped me to go along the right path. I would hope my boys will do the same by watching me.
The one thing I am bad about that I don't remember my mom ever doing is throwing on workout pants/hoodie/ponytail many days of the week!
I guess in that context I wouldn't have thought the kids were proud of their mom's appearance, per se, but having completed a triathalon. I know lots of athletic women who are also relatively frumpy at times. DS told a mom at school he was proud of me after I finished the SGK 3Day walk, and I assure you, I am both relatively unfit AND frumpy! LOL
My mom always looked nice, but I wouldn't say she was always fit. She worked outside of the home and owned her own business, so she was generally dressed business casual. I don't think I have ever seen her in a pair of jeans.
I remember staring at my mom as she'd put on make-up and get dressed up for "date nights" with my dad... and thinking she was the most beautiful woman ever. In the late 70's/early 80's, she was the bomb... suede suits, gorgeous feathered hair, scarves, platforms... sigh, I only wish she'd saved her stuff, b/c I'd be rocking it today for sure!
She's definitely given up on trying as hard (a few decades, plus a lot of health issues between her and my dad, have forced her to shift her focus, understandably), but I still love that I can look back and remember how lucky I felt to have such a beautiful mom. She's still beautiful to me, but it's definitely not as much of a priority to her now.
A ~ 2.7.06 S ~ 9.2.07
I would imagine that the great example has nothing to do with looks, but with the accomplishment of completing a triathlon, completely different things IMO. My sister is a triathlete and it's hard work!
My mom was super skinny, short shorts, cleavage, etc. On one hand, all my friends thought she was hot. But it kinda bothered me.
Then I went to college and gained weight. She started sticking Jazzercise pamphlets in with my mail. Gee mom, I get the hint.
Now she is about to turn 50 and has gained like 5 lbs in her middle. She is still a size 4 but b*tches constantly about how she's "getting fat." Infact, she refuses to date and has been single for over 3 years because all the men her age are "fat, balding, and unattractive"
I hope when I am done having kids and in my 40's, I'm just happy with me. I no longer aspire to be a certain pant size, I don't obsess about a number on a scale. I just hope I think I look good, and I hope my DH thinks I look good too!
My mom, I kid you not, has looked the same since she was 18. She is beautiful, and takes really good care of herself. She never exercised (she has bad asthma) but I remember was always very health-conscious when it came to meal choices. We had home made breakfast and lunch every day, and dinner was always, always sit down, home made. She made an extra effort for that. She always made sure her hair was done up, her make up was on, and she was dressed nicely. She still does.
My dad has always been the same; just a regular guy. He likes to take long walks around the neighborhood but that's about the extent of his physical activities. But he was always pretty health conscious too; we all ate what my mom made and the only "bad" thing he did was drink beer at night. Meh.
My parents outlook on a healthy lifestyle really made its way to my sister and I. I think it's important to look and feel your best. You owe it to your family but most of all you owe it to yourself. I'm not saying go smear on a ton of makeup, but at least make sure that you are presentable when you are around anyone else. Comb your hair. Put on jeans. A little mascara. It goes a long way.
Same here. I was a little embarassed by my mom's concentration on her appearance.