I was really excited to find out the gender with DD and she was sitting backwards to us so the tech could get the measurements needed but not even guess the gender! Well she said she was 60% sure it was a girl. We had another u/s at 34 weeks since I was only measuring 22 weeks and the doctor could tell us then. We will try to find out at 20 weeks but we aren't holding out hope we will actually find out the gender since dd was so uncooperative. I hope everyone is prepared if their lo's decide to hide during their 20 week scans to not know the gender!
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I am not team green and I plan on finding out the sex, but I'm really not in a rush to know! Especially since we realized I'll be 20 weeks in early december, we decided we're going to have the doctor write down the sex and seal it in an envelope and we're going to open it on Christmas. So if I had the chance to find out early at the NT scan I'd probably decline!
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I think the ladies are just really excited and I can't blame them. If I had an opportunity to find out sooner, I would probably take advantage of it. I know once we find out, it'll make shopping for the baby a lot easier but we'll find out next month around Thanksgiving. I've waited this long; what's another month?
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I'm not team green but I totally agree. I don't understand the big rush either. With our first we didn't find out until 21 weeks because that's when I could get it. The extra few weeks was hard to wait but it was so worth the wait, especially becuase I was certain what it was, vs. having them guess at 14 weeks and potentially being wrong.
I get that some people just really want to know, but for me personally, I'm not in any rush.
Team green, I've never heard of that, haha! (I only get on the bump sporadically). I love it, I'm going to use that!
I am TOTALLY WITH YOU! I don't want to know, even though the DH wants to. No one has bothered me about it yet, thank goodness. I just really don't like gender stereotyping kids into wearing blue or pink because of their sex and I just really like neutral colors! I figure once they are born they will get enough 'girl' or 'boy' clothes from friends and relatives. And if people can't tell if it is a boy or girl since they are wearing neutral colors, who cares? If they don't know then obviously they are strangers and I don't care about them.
However, I probably will find out when I have more kids, just because I've heard from other people you might need to know for room arrangements if you don't have a lot of extra bedrooms. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Stand your ground if it isn't necessary to know! 4 more months is not that long in the grand scheme.
I am not into dressing the baby in all pink or blue all the time. I'm planning a gender neutral nursery and already have some gender neutral clothing for the baby. However, I still think it will be fun to know if it's a boy or a girl while I'm shopping for it and setting things up. It will make it feel more like a real person to me.
For me im still on the fence about finding out. But Why find out early? i hear before 20 weeks there still a chance for a whops i know we said girl but its really a boy or the other way around. So I am glad out a/s the dr wants to do it after 20 weeks. So if we decide to find out then there is a less chance of whopis
April 10 IUI BFN
Sept 10 IUI BRN
Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP!
Feb 27 ER 28 eggs
Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET
Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!!
Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump
Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!!
Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s)
Mar 29 miscarry 6w 3d
2nd IVF July 2011
BFP July 2011
M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again!
3rd IVF
4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized
4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back
4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE
4/22/12 Beta BFN
1st FET
6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2.
6/21/12 BFP 1285
6/25/12 4780
I hope this time they stick!!
Deaglan William welcome.
My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
We found out last time and won't be finding out this time. Even when we wanted to know, I could still understand the "allure" of wanting to find out on the day of delivery. I personally find the concept of not being connected to your baby without knowing the sex weird. It was nice knowing there was a boy inside of me last time, but I felt no more connected just because I could call him a boy... That's like saying that everyone for centuries was disconnected from their fetuses just because u/s didn't exist. I always called fetus "him" anyway because that's what I always thought it was.
We waited until the birth for DS, and it drove me crazy how many people did not understand why we wanted to be surprised. I had a deal with DH, so we get to find out this time, but I have no issue waiting until the 20wk u/s to find out. It's not like I need to register tomorrow.
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We found out last time and won't be finding out this time. Even when we wanted to know, I could still understand the "allure" of wanting to find out on the day of delivery. I personally find the concept of not being connected to your baby without knowing the sex weird. It was nice knowing there was a boy inside of me last time, but I felt no more connected just because I could call him a boy... That's like saying that everyone for centuries was disconnected from their fetuses just because u/s didn't exist. I always called fetus "him" anyway because that's what I always thought it was.
I didn't say I didn't feel connected at all - although to be honest, I don't really much yet even though I am excited about and protective of the pregnancy - just that I think I'll feel MORE connected when I find out the sex, because I'll be able to think of it as a him or a her and refer to it by name. I've never been pregnant before, and even if I had been, I would have found out the sex if possible, so I guess I really have no frame of reference and probably never will. It's just how I am feeling now. Like I said, once I start feeling movement, I'm sure I'll feel more connected than I do now even if I don't know the sex yet, and maybe it will turn out that I feel no more connected after learning the sex than I did after feeling movement. Or maybe I will. Maybe I won't really feel connected until I hold the baby. Maybe I am just a cold fish. Whatever.
I'm sure you and millions of pregnant women for centuries have felt connected to your babies.
It was actually at my 11 week ultrasound (which was a "peace of mind" ultrasound, but since I am 40 and considered "high risk" for other reasons, I can have as many as my little heat desires--thus far, I have had one additional ultrasound for this pregnancy) that the U/S tech asked us if we were going to find out the gender of the baby and if so, did we want a "clue." I never thought that this was even an option before this (I thought people found out the sex at the 20-week ultrasound, and that was it).
My fiance and I both want to know, so we said "sure." This hunch was again reiterated by the same tech at our 13-week NT scan (Team Blue).
From my perspective, having a pregnancy loss immediately prior to this pregnancy, yes, I wanted to know. For one, it did help me to connect more to this pregnancy, which is helpful when you're so terrified of losing the baby that you almost in denial about being pregnant again in the first place. And second, again in relation to the earlier loss, I want to know as much about my kid as possible. If I could install a skylight into my uterus, I would. Until that happy day comes when a procedure such as this is available, I will glom as much information as the nice doctors and techs can tell me.
I think it's very much a personal choice--there's no right or wrong answer, and folks should be respectful of each other's decisions. I have two friends that did not find out the sex beforehand, and it was exciting for them to have that moment of surprise at birth. For me, pregnancy has thrown me enough surprises, so I'm happy to meet my (hopefully) son, and have his name, nursery, and as much as I can ready for him.
Just my two cents.
I get what you're saying to a point, wanting to know "all about baby", I just had a loss May 2 and got preg July 17, and that was m/c #5 for me so I promise you, I get it.
What I don't get (again) is people who get PISSED when they can't find out earlier. If you want to find out sooner that's fine, I still don't get why not just wait but I DO respect your choices, to each their own (I know many people don't get why I would want to wait till birth to find out and when they ask I don't get upset, I just explain). I get wanting to be able to plan, ect, I don't get the whole not feeling connected thing, especially from the lady who called her baby a "ball of cells". Finding out the gender shouldn't be the deciding factor in your connection to your child.
Okay, do you want to know why people are in a hurry to find out, or is this just an opportunity for you to feel smug and superior?
I was trying to be polite and explain why I'm anxious to know, but if we are going to start judging for this, I'll just say that waiting until birth when you can find out sooner seems like silly romanticizing of the good old days to me.
I didn't say I didn't feel connected at all - although to be honest, I don't really much yet even though I am excited about and protective of the pregnancy - just that I think I'll feel MORE connected when I find out the sex, because I'll be able to think of it as a him or a her and refer to it by name. I've never been pregnant before, and even if I had been, I would have found out the sex if possible, so I guess I really have no frame of reference and probably never will. It's just how I am feeling now. Like I said, once I start feeling movement, I'm sure I'll feel more connected than I do now even if I don't know the sex yet, and maybe it will turn out that I feel no more connected after learning the sex than I did after feeling movement. Or maybe I will. Maybe I won't really feel connected until I hold the baby. Maybe I am just a cold fish. Whatever.
I'm sure you and millions of pregnant women for centuries have felt connected to your babies.
Oh, it's not just your comment I was responding to. It's one of the things people always say, and I was just comparing last pg to this one when I'd already had the "connection". It's hard to feel connected to them at this stage regardless of whether you know or not. You're not hardly showing, if at all, not feeling movement, seeing visible kicks, elbow jabs, etc. It seems like the anatomy scan is always around the same time all of this starts happening, so I think a lot of times people just equate finding out the sex with feeling connected, if that makes sense. I didn't feel connected at this point last pg and I don't feel connected this time. It wasn't until it felt like there was really a baby inside of me that I started feeling something towards him if that makes sense. People respond differently to being pg. If you think it will help you then find out. I did last time so I'm definitely not against it at all. I'm having a repeat c/s so it kind of takes a lot of the "excitement" about birth away. The day and time are picked, you walk it, and know exactly (hopefully) what's going to happen. So we thought waiting to find out would be something different from last time and leave a little bit of the anticipation to the end.
Okay, do you want to know why people are in a hurry to find out, or is this just an opportunity for you to feel smug and superior?
I was trying to be polite and explain why I'm anxious to know, but if we are going to start judging for this, I'll just say that waiting until birth when you can find out sooner seems like silly romanticizing of the good old days to me.
Woah, first off no one said I feel smug or superior in anyway, I already said to each their own. If you can't get my side or where I'm coming from then feel free to not reply.
Okay, do you want to know why people are in a hurry to find out, or is this just an opportunity for you to feel smug and superior?
I was trying to be polite and explain why I'm anxious to know, but if we are going to start judging for this, I'll just say that waiting until birth when you can find out sooner seems like silly romanticizing of the good old days to me.
Woah, first off no one said I feel smug or superior in anyway, I already said to each their own. If you can't get my side or where I'm coming from then feel free to not reply.
lol, seriously? Feel free not to reply? Oookay. You asked a question about something you don't understand. I don't see why it should be a prerequisite that I understand "your side" before attempting to answer.
You may say "to each their own," but it's clear you and some other people here think the people who are anxious to find out are somehow inferior because they care to know the sex of their baby before birth. You got your answer about why people are eager, and don't try to tell me this response to it isn't judging: I don't get the whole not feeling connected thing, especially from the
lady who called her baby a "ball of cells". Finding out the gender
shouldn't be the deciding factor in your connection to your child.
Okay, do you want to know why people are in a hurry to find out, or is this just an opportunity for you to feel smug and superior?
I was trying to be polite and explain why I'm anxious to know, but if we are going to start judging for this, I'll just say that waiting until birth when you can find out sooner seems like silly romanticizing of the good old days to me.
Woah, first off no one said I feel smug or superior in anyway, I already said to each their own. If you can't get my side or where I'm coming from then feel free to not reply.
lol, seriously? Feel free not to reply? Oookay. You asked a question about something you don't understand. I don't see why it should be a prerequisite that I understand "your side" before attempting to answer.
You may say "to each their own," but it's clear you and some other people here think the people who are anxious to find out are somehow inferior because they care to know the sex of their baby before birth. You got your answer about why people are eager, and don't try to tell me this response to it isn't judging: I don't get the whole not feeling connected thing, especially from the
lady who called her baby a "ball of cells". Finding out the gender
shouldn't be the deciding factor in your connection to your child.
Well said, Tamcat. Like I said earlier, everyone has different views and opinions in terms of this issue, and those opinions and viewpoints should be respected--not judged. If a question is posed, one should expect a multitude of different answers (the whole purpose of posting a question on this board is to garner these answers, yes?).
Respectfully agreeing to disagree is a trait some posters would do well to learn ;-)
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!
Again, I apologize if my thought came out as judging, if that's what you want to believe I'm doing, that's fine but I assure you that's not what it was, think what you will though. Obviously you missed me repeatedly saying how I don't get why someone would be so pissed over having to wait a few extra weeks to find out or would even consider faking having something wrong (as I know people who've been pissed, who HAVE faked something being wrong and currently know someone who's considering it). I can clearly see people wanting to plan or being anxious/excited about finding out (and the comment about the ball of cells, again, not judgement, just something that I, personally, wouldn't say nor have that issue but I have a few friends who I've been told felt the same way) it's all in curiosity of a question, not to piss people off. Me saying feel free not to reply is simply because I really don't want to start a debate over this whole idea of "who's right/who's wrong" when there is no right/wrong in this... again, just a question like there are so many others on here.
Re: What's the big rush?
I'm not team green but I totally agree. I don't understand the big rush either. With our first we didn't find out until 21 weeks because that's when I could get it. The extra few weeks was hard to wait but it was so worth the wait, especially becuase I was certain what it was, vs. having them guess at 14 weeks and potentially being wrong.
I get that some people just really want to know, but for me personally, I'm not in any rush.
I am not into dressing the baby in all pink or blue all the time. I'm planning a gender neutral nursery and already have some gender neutral clothing for the baby. However, I still think it will be fun to know if it's a boy or a girl while I'm shopping for it and setting things up. It will make it feel more like a real person to me.
And to quit calling it "it." lol
I didn't say I didn't feel connected at all - although to be honest, I don't really much yet even though I am excited about and protective of the pregnancy - just that I think I'll feel MORE connected when I find out the sex, because I'll be able to think of it as a him or a her and refer to it by name. I've never been pregnant before, and even if I had been, I would have found out the sex if possible, so I guess I really have no frame of reference and probably never will. It's just how I am feeling now. Like I said, once I start feeling movement, I'm sure I'll feel more connected than I do now even if I don't know the sex yet, and maybe it will turn out that I feel no more connected after learning the sex than I did after feeling movement. Or maybe I will. Maybe I won't really feel connected until I hold the baby. Maybe I am just a cold fish. Whatever.
I'm sure you and millions of pregnant women for centuries have felt connected to your babies.
I get what you're saying to a point, wanting to know "all about baby", I just had a loss May 2 and got preg July 17, and that was m/c #5 for me so I promise you, I get it.
What I don't get (again) is people who get PISSED when they can't find out earlier. If you want to find out sooner that's fine, I still don't get why not just wait but I DO respect your choices, to each their own (I know many people don't get why I would want to wait till birth to find out and when they ask I don't get upset, I just explain). I get wanting to be able to plan, ect, I don't get the whole not feeling connected thing, especially from the lady who called her baby a "ball of cells". Finding out the gender shouldn't be the deciding factor in your connection to your child.
Okay, do you want to know why people are in a hurry to find out, or is this just an opportunity for you to feel smug and superior?
I was trying to be polite and explain why I'm anxious to know, but if we are going to start judging for this, I'll just say that waiting until birth when you can find out sooner seems like silly romanticizing of the good old days to me.
Woah, first off no one said I feel smug or superior in anyway, I already said to each their own. If you can't get my side or where I'm coming from then feel free to not reply.
lol, seriously? Feel free not to reply? Oookay. You asked a question about something you don't understand. I don't see why it should be a prerequisite that I understand "your side" before attempting to answer.
You may say "to each their own," but it's clear you and some other people here think the people who are anxious to find out are somehow inferior because they care to know the sex of their baby before birth. You got your answer about why people are eager, and don't try to tell me this response to it isn't judging: I don't get the whole not feeling connected thing, especially from the lady who called her baby a "ball of cells". Finding out the gender shouldn't be the deciding factor in your connection to your child.
Well said, Tamcat. Like I said earlier, everyone has different views and opinions in terms of this issue, and those opinions and viewpoints should be respected--not judged. If a question is posed, one should expect a multitude of different answers (the whole purpose of posting a question on this board is to garner these answers, yes?).
Respectfully agreeing to disagree is a trait some posters would do well to learn ;-)
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!
ETA: Sorry for the double-posting!
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!