What's the big rush?
devious1031
member
I know this may not be the popular census here, but what's the big rush to find out the baby's gender? I see so many people rushing to find out at 16, 15 even 14wks, some even throwing major "fits" because their docs refuse to break "procedure" and do the u/s any sooner than 19 wks. While I get it's an exciting step to find out what you're having, I really don't see what the big rush is or why be so pissed off if you "have" to wait.
Am I the ONLY one who feels this way? Is it because I'm team green and not finding out till birth? Even with DD3 when I knew I'd be finding out I was honestly in no big rush to do so, heck the only reason I even found out was because DH wanted to know and he was deployed at the time. IDK, maybe I'm just weird, lol.
Re: What's the big rush?
Konstantino
Maximo
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Oh it's not a problem at all! I'm really not trying to be snide, I'm really just curious into the thought process of WHY the rush! that's all! And I guess it's true, if you wanna know sooner, don't be pissed at your doc/ins, go pay for it, that's, well, it is what it is, but I can't tell you the number of people throughout the yrs that I've talked to that get PISSED cause their ins wont cover a u/s sooner than 20wks and have admitted to considering faking an issue to get an earlier u/s! It's NOT THAT SERIOUS! At the end of the day you will, eventually, know what your baby is... be patient!
Well maybe I will feel more attached when I feel the baby move regardless, but right now it feels like knowing the sex would help.
I don't know how people can wait! It's still a surprise, whether it's at 16 weeks or 20 weeks or birth. I am impatient, and I want my surprise as soon as possible! ;-p I'm not going to pay for an extra u/s, though. ETA: or fake an issue.
But I did ask for a totally unnecessary u/s at my OB's office yesterday, and she gave it to me. Sorry!
I agree with you as well. Perhaps because we are team green, I'm not sure. I LOVE when its a surprise, its so exciting. I'm not starting a debate either, but there is something SO special about hearing it in the delivery room.
I don't understand the NEED to find out earlier. I had an enormous amount of love and connection with DS my entire pregnancy I have a blog full of letters I wrote my baby bear, and the same goes for this little peanut already, the gender has nothing to do with the love and attachment I have for my children. I already say "the kids" to DH when we talk about the future. The moment I knew I was pregnant I felt like a mother to two, maybe I'm crazy! LOL
I want to know just because I'm excited and, well, I want to know!
But, I'll find out whenever they do my gender scan b/w 19-24 weeks. People were irritated because I didn't ask the tech to guess at my NT scan. Hey, I was just excited to see little peep in there wiggling around and that there's a HB. It's not THAT urgent, or accurate at 13weeks. One of my mom's friends is irritated that I'm finding out at all. I'm an OCD planner. This is not the kind of thing I can NOT plan for. It's still a surprise, I just get my surprise before the birth. I totally commend you ladies that can hold out for team green. I can't though. WAY TOO TYPE A!!! 
I definitely won't pay to have an early one. I'll have more u/s than most (weekly from 20 weeks on) because of clotting issues. The only thing I hate about waiting 6 more weeks for a gender scan is that I can't check on baby to make sure everything is ok...especially after 2 losses.
THIS TOO!! I can't find any cute gender neutral yarn that I like. I won't start until I know!!
If you want people to stop asking tell them you're not finding out
J/K... my SIL kept trying to bribe me with all this stuff, she finally stopped when I told her if she begged me one more time I'd make everyone (her included) wait till the baby's a week old before I tell the gender, LOL! She apologized and hasn't asked since, LOL!
nope, I pretty much agree.
We were team green last time and probably will be this time.
I don't see why it's such a terrible thing to wait until your a/s
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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Team green, I've never heard of that, haha! (I only get on the bump sporadically). I love it, I'm going to use that!
I am TOTALLY WITH YOU! I don't want to know, even though the DH wants to. No one has bothered me about it yet, thank goodness. I just really don't like gender stereotyping kids into wearing blue or pink because of their sex and I just really like neutral colors! I figure once they are born they will get enough 'girl' or 'boy' clothes from friends and relatives. And if people can't tell if it is a boy or girl since they are wearing neutral colors, who cares? If they don't know then obviously they are strangers and I don't care about them.
However, I probably will find out when I have more kids, just because I've heard from other people you might need to know for room arrangements if you don't have a lot of extra bedrooms. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Stand your ground if it isn't necessary to know! 4 more months is not that long in the grand scheme.
I guess I don't understand why people want to wait until the baby is born to know the gender, because they want to be "surprised"...I mean, when you find out the gender at the anatomy scan, isn't that a "surprise" too? It's not like you know ahead of time what it is, so no matter what time you find out, it's always going to be either blue or pink! Some people are fine waiting for that surprise for 40 weeks, and some are fine with the 20 weeks.
I'm fine waiting the allotted time until you are able to find out (20 weeks or so), but I don't see the harm if someone is really impatient and wants to find out as soon as possible. But, I do think throwing a fit and faking an issue is quite ridiculous. I think once I find out the gender, we'll start thinking about the nursery and I'm sure our family will want to start buying certain color clothes.
Mommy of 3 Angel Babies and one on the way!
#1 m/c on 7/11/11 at 5w3d
#2 m/c on 10/6/11 at 10w5d
#3 m/c on 6/13/12 at 4w0d
I'm not in a rush to find out, but I do plan on finding out at our A/S IF our little one is cooperating with us (if not I'm not paying out of pocket to try again, so we will be team green then barring the need for another U/S later for a legitimate medical reason). I agree with the sentiment that it is a surprise at 20 weeks as well as at 40. I thought about being team green, but I decided to find out for this one.
What bothers me is when I ask a friend if they are planning on finding out the sex and they answer "we're just so excited to be having a baby that we don't care" because it makes me feel like you think I'm not just as excited to be having a baby because I'm curious and don't mind if they tell me at the same medical procedure you're having (but not finding out the sex at). It could really be a boy or girl for me, I have no real preference this time other than I already know what to expect with girls, so it's not like I will love my baby less if it does/does not have a peen. (sorry not trying to start a debate either, just saying though...)
I will get to find out right before my birthday, so I'm kind of excited about that, but I'm not in a rush to do anything with this pregnancy (besides maybe get to 2nd tri in 2 weeks.. lol)
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
It was actually at my 11 week ultrasound (which was a "peace of mind" ultrasound, but since I am 40 and considered "high risk" for other reasons, I can have as many as my little heat desires--thus far, I have had one additional ultrasound for this pregnancy) that the U/S tech asked us if we were going to find out the gender of the baby and if so, did we want a "clue." I never thought that this was even an option before this (I thought people found out the sex at the 20-week ultrasound, and that was it).
My fiance and I both want to know, so we said "sure." This hunch was again reiterated by the same tech at our 13-week NT scan (Team Blue).
From my perspective, having a pregnancy loss immediately prior to this pregnancy, yes, I wanted to know. For one, it did help me to connect more to this pregnancy, which is helpful when you're so terrified of losing the baby that you almost in denial about being pregnant again in the first place. And second, again in relation to the earlier loss, I want to know as much about my kid as possible. If I could install a skylight into my uterus, I would. Until that happy day comes when a procedure such as this is available, I will glom as much information as the nice doctors and techs can tell me.
I think it's very much a personal choice--there's no right or wrong answer, and folks should be respectful of each other's decisions. I have two friends that did not find out the sex beforehand, and it was exciting for them to have that moment of surprise at birth. For me, pregnancy has thrown me enough surprises, so I'm happy to meet my (hopefully) son, and have his name, nursery, and as much as I can ready for him.
Just my two cents.
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!
If you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks it is still a surprise. It doesn't cost any more money for us to find out at 20 weeks so we are going to find out. We are organizers and planners and we want to be prepared with everything we need when baby arrives. Including talking about circumcision and other gender related issues.
We are going to have the Dr. write down what we are having on a piece of paper and we are going to take it to a bakery and have them bake a cake with either blue or pink icing inside. We are going to have a "cake cutting party" and invite all our family and friends over to find out if we are having a boy or a girl!
Can't wait!
DH and I are going to have an extra ultrasound to find out at 16.5 weeks because we are both very excited to find out the gender...I know everyone is different, but for us, knowing the gender will allow us to start calling the baby by name instead of an "it" or "the baby".
I know that I could wait 3.5 weeks longer, but for us, paying a little extra money to know sooner is well worth it. Ultimately, we all need to make a decision that fits our individual situations best. Some people stay team green...others find out at 20 weeks, and some find out a little early....to each their own
I am impatient. We find out at 17w1 day, I don't think that is too early to find out the sex. Plus it is on my birthday and we want to tell we are pregnant at Thanksgiving and tell the sex all in one shot.