Refusing to get the flu shot...

whittier06

I'm a public health student, and my classes have maybe made me a little overly-paranoid about things like this, but I dont understand the big deal.

I asked our parents to get a flu shot and I got the same response from all of them. "People never used to get flu shots and babies did just fine!".

I HATE when people respond to things like this. "Babies did just fine..." In the 1920's, infant mortality was about 200 deaths out of 1000 babies. It is now around 5-6!!! (Not because of the flu shot, I'm just saying..) Are you kidding me?? I DO NOT CARE what people used to do. I personally don't choose to live like it is the 1920's.

It is so frustrating and almost hurtful that they don't care what we want. That's all.

Thanks for listening to my vent.

aliciaroset

I hate it when people try to tell me what to do to my body, so if you asked me to get the flu shot I'd be a little pissed too.  (of course I agree with what you're saying about appealing to the bad old days, but it's not at all your place to tell them what to do.)

leahandbuck

I understand how you feel.  My OB recommended anyone that will be around LO for a significant amount of time get the DTaP vaccine.  So, I told my parents and the ILs that they would need to get this vaccine before LO got here. Hell, this shot is supposed to be updated every 10 years anyway.  Plus, my mom just had a co-worker come to work after being diagnosed with whooping cough a couple of weeks ago and it has been going around the schools in the area.  Of course I got backlash and the inevitable comment "we didn't have to do that when we had kids."  I hate this comment it is so ignorant.  Just because you didn't have to do something in the past doesn't mean you shouldn't do it if you learn/know better in the future.  I mean after everything we have gone through to have this baby and all of the aches and pains I have suffered for the past 9 months a little shot is nothing.  Anyway, we held firm and told them that if they didn't have this shot before LO was born they would not be around her until I had proof they had the shot.   

I didn't mean to hijack your post.  Just stick to what you want and if people don't comply then they are the ones that will suffer not you.

txbabs111

aliciaroset:

I hate it when people try to tell me what to do to my body, so if you asked me to get the flu shot I'd be a little pissed too.  (of course I agree with what you're saying about appealing to the bad old days, but it's not at all your place to tell them what to do.)

As a parent, it is her responsibility to do what is best for her child. If she believes it's best to have everyone who is in close contact with her newborn get a flu shot, then it is absolutely within her right to request that they get one. If they don't want to do it, they don't have to, but she is then free to limit their time with the baby.

 

cfemiani

I'm having the same issues with my parents.  I casually asked them if they had gotten the flu shot or had a recent Pertussis vaccine.  My mom gets all defensive and starts telling me how ridiculous medicine has gotten and how paranoid doctors are making new moms.  I wasn't at a point where I wanted to have an argument with her, so I just sat there and listened to her spew a lot of "back in the day..." nonsense.  My MIL and FIL have both had their shots and vaccines, they did it voluntarily when they heard we were expecting.  Just not sure what to do about my parents!  

weddingbells2010

txbabs111:

aliciaroset:

I hate it when people try to tell me what to do to my body, so if you asked me to get the flu shot I'd be a little pissed too.  (of course I agree with what you're saying about appealing to the bad old days, but it's not at all your place to tell them what to do.)

As a parent, it is her responsibility to do what is best for her child. If she believes it's best to have everyone who is in close contact with her newborn get a flu shot, then it is absolutely within her right to request that they get one. If they don't want to do it, they don't have to, but she is then free to limit their time with the baby.

 

This.  Go ahead and ask them to get whatever shots you want (keyword there being ASK them, not DEMAND of them)... and if they refuse, then you do not allow them a lot of access to your child during flu season.  However, I don't think it's reasonable to get mad at people for not wanting to do do things to their own bodies- especially when it comes to vaccines, which is a sensitive subject that a lot of people have strong feelings about. 

CalinsBride

I understand why you're concerned, but I think as long as they are careful to wash their hands with soap and hot water before handling the baby, you'll be okay. And hey, if you get the flu shot for yourself, and you're planning on breastfeeding, the baby will get some of the immunity from you.

ETA: Pretty much the only reason I am breastfeeding this time around is to protect LO from the flu and other illnesses.

preggersin2011

I know my mom never goes to the doctor!! I kindly asked her to make an appt and verify she's up to date on all her shots, get a tetanus booster with pertussis in it & a flu shot- her reply was "why? it's like the like baby will bite me like a vampire"...... i guess she doesn't plan on meeting her grandchild  

MrsClark8109

I'm with you the whole "you slept on your stomach and you lived...." thats great, but my babies will be on their backs...or "people used to do ......." people also used to ride horses, but I'll take my airconditioned car over old Betsy to work any day thank you.

That being said, I didnt ask the grandparents to get any vaccines, I told them the reasons why my DH and I were getting them, and let them know that if they were remotely sick or exposed the wouldn't be spending time with their grandbabies, but it was entirely their decision as to how they wanted to proceed-- all but 6/8 grandparents decided to get vaccinated.

aliciaroset

It sounded to me like she was saying she wouldn't let them see her baby if they didn't, which I think is totally unreasonable but OBVIOUSLY within her rights!

The flu shot only protects people from one of the many illnesses that can be passed on to your child, so just because someone has it doesn't mean you should forgo common sense and give them total access.

It's really simple.  If the person has been sick recently or is currently sick, they don't hold baby.  Otherwise, just ask them to wash their hands before holding and everything should be fine.

Are you not going to take your child to public places where they are bound to come in contact with people who haven't had the flu shot?  

I think it's a total overreaction to be pissed of that someone doesn't want an optional seasonal flu vaccine in order to hold a baby.  Now, asking that that person doesn't hold baby if they're sick or aren't vaccinated against something deadly that is standard to be vaccinated for is another thing. 

You said you feel hurt by their refusal, but don't you think they're hurt by you threatening not to let them have contact with your baby?  I just think you're taking it too personally. 

whittier06

aliciaroset:

It sounded to me like she was saying she wouldn't let them see her baby if they didn't, which I think is totally unreasonable but OBVIOUSLY within her rights!

The flu shot only protects people from one of the many illnesses that can be passed on to your child, so just because someone has it doesn't mean you should forgo common sense and give them total access.

It's really simple.  If the person has been sick recently or is currently sick, they don't hold baby.  Otherwise, just ask them to wash their hands before holding and everything should be fine.

Are you not going to take your child to public places where they are bound to come in contact with people who haven't had the flu shot?  

I think it's a total overreaction to be pissed of that someone doesn't want an optional seasonal flu vaccine in order to hold a baby.  Now, asking that that person doesn't hold baby if they're sick or aren't vaccinated against something deadly that is standard to be vaccinated for is another thing. 

You said you feel hurt by their refusal, but don't you think they're hurt by you threatening not to let them have contact with your baby?  I just think you're taking it too personally. 

I certainly never said I would not let them see my child. AND, you can spread the flu before you are even sick AND, a newborn getting the flu absolutely can be deadly.

whittier06

Thanks for the responses. I'm over it now, and I would never not let them see my child, I would just be more comfortable if they would get the shot. eh, what can ya do?

mrswhiskey

I really hate reading about this over and over on the message boards. This is the way I see it.

Okay, all of your past children have done fine without everyone being vaccinated. But... What is THIS is the year when one of them gets seriously ill and it could have been prevented by spending $30 and getting a shot. I don't think anything will happen to my baby either but I'll be damned if I'm going to skip something so simple that could be potentially fatal. And I think that anyone who is going to skip it because they don't like being told what to do is being silly and naive.

Also, a lot of diseases can't be stopped from spreading just because people wash their hands. Pertussis can be spread from clothing which is why they want people to get vaccinated. You think you're going to pick up your child and soothe them when really, you could be making them more sick.

ImAnRN

i work in the medical field and yes, there are times I believe we're "overkill" with meds, testing, etc. I have never had a flu shot, even with my first, and this year I caved and got it:-) I also plan on getting a tetanus and pertussis as I am long overdue, but I have not asked the rest of my family to do the same. I think it's my responsibility to keep my kids safe, but I can't expect everyone else to do the same. I'll just limit exposure during flu season... and handwashing is number 1 preventative measure for spreading germs. My DS was exposed to RSV at 2 months after a well visit at his Ped office after I tried so hard to protect him from the world... He was hospitalized for 9 days and it sucked but I realize that people DO get sick and that's ok. He's got super human immunity now:-) I totally agree with how you feel, but sadly, we can't change everyone's mind about vaccines and how things "used to be." If you really feel strongly about it, then limit exposure from October until March, the grossest, germ-filled time of the year...