How do you handle clothing??

lmorgan

Maybe this is a dumb question but I am at a loss at how to handle this without it affecting my SD.  SD goes to BM house after school on wednesdays and 2/3 fridays.  She goes immediately from school.  Her mom drops her back off at school on Monday and Thursday morning.  Works pretty good.......we have to hardly interact.  So here's the problem..........her mother dresses her in crap.  Im not saying she dresses her in a different style than what I like, I mean she dresses her in clothes that are too small, or snow boots on a day that its like 85 degrees out.  I feel like she intentionally does it because she doens't want her good clothes at our house.  But we are basically sending her in good clothes that fit and ending up with crappy small clothes.  We have mentioned it to her a million times and she always has some excuse.  How do you keep all your good clothes going to the other parents' house?  I don't want to send her to school is crappy clothes but Im tired of buying her good nice clothes for her mom to send her back in cheap small stuff.  Thanks in advance, would love to know what other step parents are doing.  And of course, my husband is totally on the same page with me, but of course doesn't do any of the clothes shopping for SD so has no idea what Im talking about when I tell him that Im sending her in good name brand, correct sized clothes....and getting back two sizes too small clothes from walmart that look like they were hand me downs to begin with.  HELP!!

steph141

We have this problem!  I welcome any advice as well.  (Sorry to hijack your thread!)

SteveandKris

How old is SD that she tolerates wearing something too small all day?  BM did this when SS was 5 or younger, but now he says, "mom, that doesn't fit"

karatechrissy

We used to send SS back in the clothes he came in. (bc BM insists on having her clothes back. But I was happy about that bc BM has crap clothes. Like you they are dirty, wal mart, holes, too small or HUGE). He started school this yr. So when she gets him after we send him off to school she keeps our nice clothes. I almost always put his clothes he came in back in his backpack. She doesn't do us the same courtesy. DH has to text her and tell her specifically what she needs to bring when she comes to pick him up EOSunday. It's the only time we see her now. May seem petty but we just spent $300 we didn't even really have to begin w on nice school clothes. I'll be damned if shr gets them.

AliciaCN

We have the same problem! Apparently this is a common issue! Exact same I buy name brand clothing for my SD and she comes in clothes that are grimy and too small. Her mother has nice clothes for her she just never seems to be wearing them when she is coming to stay the night. For the last two years I watch as her closet slowly gets smaller and smaller until I have to buy her all new clothes. When they finally do come back they are out of season and too small. Its hard when I am not the one interacting with her just the one buying the clothes. I would like to send her back at the end of the weekend with the clothes she came in but that does not always work depending on weather.

cole2144

We do not share clothes with BM, not even shoes or coats, when SD comes to our house. I make sure to wash her clothes and have them ready for when she goes back to her mother`s. It makes life easier not having to fight with BM about clothes.

Nesaea2012

Same thing happens to us. I have a 4 yo SD and DH and BM have her 50/50 so they only exchange her one day so it's better than several days a week losing clothes. My DH asks that she send her back to us in the clothes she wore from our house, but that never happens. She sends her in clothes that are way too small and shoes with holes in them. When it's cold I dress her in a coat but BM never brings any type of coat back, so we had to buy more. I understand the clothes are all SD clothes, not BM or DH but she doesn't need 7 pairs of shoes and 4 coats just to make it through the week at both houses.

I got fed up with it and since I am the one who dresses her I make sure to send her back to her BM in the clothes she comes in. We exchange SD on a Saturday, so if the clothes are yucky she doesn't have to go to school in them.

After doing this for a few times BM finally got the hint and now dresses her in decent clothes.

We still have the issue with coats and shoes (last week she came in holey shoes so I threw them out and gave her new ones...she came back with more holey shoes! I swear we are like a free shoe exchange.)

kasper923

cole2144:

We do not share clothes with BM, not even shoes or coats, when SD comes to our house. I make sure to wash her clothes and have them ready for when she goes back to her mother`s. It makes life easier not having to fight with BM about clothes.

We do this exactly.

ballmom

While they are younger, it is best to wash the clothes they came in and put it back on them when they go back to BM. If she is doing it for the sole purpose of getting new clothes out of you maybe this will be a way to make it stop.

The fun is when they get older and they sneak the clothes from your house back to BM. *eyeroll* We are having this issue right now with SD13. I shop sales and get Aero, AE, etc pretty cheap (like this weekend they had 70% off on stuff) so SD will sneak it home to wear because either BM will not buy it or she has not touched the laundry. (I have seen photos of their laundry area, it is a mess with literally piles of clothes that need to be washed).