Severe stranger anxiety (18 months)

srh08.05.06

I'm hoping to get some advice, or at least encouragement that this will pass.  My girls will be 18 months next week.  They have very opposite personalities - E is very outgoing and active, while A is more reserved.  A had stranger anxiety before she was a year old and grew out of it.  Then it came back with a vengeance in the past few months (it's kind of a mix of stranger/separation anxiety). 

I'm a SAHM, but try to get them out and have them socialize with other kids.  I have playdates twice a week with other moms.  Once a week, we are in a park district class.  Whenever I take them to the store, A freaks out to the point where I almost don't want to take her out in public anymore.  She screams, cries, arches her back, etc.  I took her to Target a month ago and she did this during the entire shopping trip.  If I were to carry her, she'd be fine.  I tried this out once, but then ended up with back pain after (I just had back surgery in Feb).  At the park district class, A clings to me and will not leave my lap.  If I even adjust how I'm sitting, she starts to cry like I'm going to leave her.  A will even cry when she sees the moms we have playdates with, even though she sees them every week.  However, she's completely fine around my parents who she sees once a week.

Is there anything I can do to improve the situation?  Does this sound a bit extreme for her age?  Anyone else go through this and did it just pass eventually?  Thank you for any advice - this is rough!

2shihtzus

My boys had really bad stranger anxiety from about 13-16ish months or so.  It was extremely bad, they would cling to me and freak out if anyone came into our house or came near them.  It has since passed and they are now fine again with strangers (or family members that they also freaked out about during that time).  I honestly didn't do anything, I wasn't sure what to do so hopefully this is just a phase for your girls that will pass soon!

togagirl

My twins were pretty bad until just recently and my singleton is still really clingy.  But my twins are fine now and were one of the only kids who didn't cry the first few days of preschool.  I think it is a combination of age and leaving them at the babysitting room at the gym.  It worked really well for them.  I started off leaving them for about a half-hour at a time when it wasn't busy.  The first few times they cried (a lot) but I think me leaving and them realizing I was coming back very soon was what really helped.

srh08.05.06

Thanks for your reply.  Sorry you had to go through the same thing, but am glad to hear your boys are better around strangers now.  If the phase lasts as long for A, hopefully she won't have much more than a month of this, since it's already been going on for 2 months.  I'm going to ask the pedi about it at her 18 month appointment next week, but I'm guessing there is not much I can do but wait it out. 

srh08.05.06

togagirl:

My twins were pretty bad until just recently and my singleton is still really clingy.  But my twins are fine now and were one of the only kids who didn't cry the first few days of preschool.  I think it is a combination of age and leaving them at the babysitting room at the gym.  It worked really well for them.  I started off leaving them for about a half-hour at a time when it wasn't busy.  The first few times they cried (a lot) but I think me leaving and them realizing I was coming back very soon was what really helped.

Thanks for your reply.  I leave them with my parents for a few hours a week, but since she knows them, A has no issues.  The funny thing is I'll tell her I'm leaving and she doesn't even care or notice I'm gone.  I like the idea of finding a gym where I can leave them for a short period of time - I may have to look into that!