Night weaning (long...sorry!)
terri_doula2010
member
We've been attempting and failing to night wean on and off for about 2 months now (DS is about to be 18 months). We've tried lots of different things (including Dr. Gordon's method), but LO is SERIOUS BUSINESS about his nursing and will scream and scream in the middle of the night until DH gives up and brings him to me and I nurse him again and we say, "Next time!"
DS will wake up for no reason but to nurse. He usually just wants the comfort more than the food and will freak out again (but less) when we try to get him off the boob....even if it has been an hour!
We don't co-sleep much anymore because I don't sleep much/well when we do. We're trying to night wean for the same reason, and because none of us are getting great sleep right now since we're waking up 2-3 times a night and going through this routine. I start work next Wednesday for the first time and DH is trying to find a new job, so soon we may both be working out of the house and sleep is getting even more precious.
Last night the same pattern was going on, but when I gave up and went in his room to feed him, DH encouraged me to hug and comfort DS without nursing. It was SO HARD. DS felt betrayed. He has this way of muscling his way to my boob and I usually let him, but last night I just snuggled him and talked to him and told him over and over that, "Nana all gone! Nana come back tomorrow!" and that I love him. I cried a few times because I felt like I was failing my baby to not feed him when he wanted to be fed. Ugh. We offered him water and milk and eventually he drank milk, and eventually, after a lot more than an hour, he settled down cuddling in bed and went to sleep.This all happened starting at 12:30 and when he woke up again it was 5, which is when we've decided breastfeeding is okay again at this point.
Hopefully this is good progress for us, and we're going to keep it up. I just wanted to vent and ask for advice. Not methods, really, because it seems like we've read it all. We've tried limiting each session, we've tried eliminating every other nursing session...sleep has always been our issue, but in the past few weeks we've finally gotten him to start going to sleep on his own in his crib with just a minute or two of fussing. DH is on the floor in there at this point, and he is "Sleep-lady Shuffling" toward the door. So that is all going great! We just need him to put himself back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing.
Thanks for reading all of this! I'd appreciate any encouragement or advice.
Re: Night weaning (long...sorry!)
Hugs Mama! I night weaned LO around 11-12 months. Before then I would nurse LO down in her own crib, then when she would wake up nurse her again and again, until roughly 5am when I would bring her into bed with DH and us. I wasn't getting any sleep and neither was DH... So we night weaned.
It was hard, extremely hard. I would set a regular routine around the same time every night. Nurse her to sleep and if she woke up before midnight, DH would go in and rock her to sleep. Past midnight I would go in with a big thick robe so it would be harder for her to "find" me boob. I would first nurse her past midnight, then past 3am, then past 3:30am then past 4am, past 5am, and eventually she stopped waking, unless she was sick, or something else. Once we hit 5am and LO woke up I would just tell her that "Mimis" are asleep and will wake up when the sun comes up. I still tell her this when she wakes up too early. And when the sun is up (roughly 7am, I let her nurse).
Sometimes DH and I would trade who would rock her. On the weekends he would do most wake ups until he couldn't take it anymore. Then me. It was extremely hard and took like 2 months. Then started all over again around 15 months because of a move. I hope it does better for you since your going to work. Your doing great. It's possible. GL.
Thanks for the encouragement, Mamas!
Oh man...I so hope this doesn't last 2 months! You are a trooper! I think if it lasts past 2 weeks I may give in. We're beginning Night 6 tonight, and I'm hoping I've seen some improvements. I have to wear a full coverage bra at night in order to deter him, and that is annoyingly uncomfortable. Last night he didn't get super upset for the first hour he was awake, just insistent upon being awake and kept asking for na na. The last half hour or so it got really bad, though, and DH ended up taking him for a drive out of desperation. DS came back asleep and stayed asleep til 5:45, though!
One of the super annoying things is that we live in an apartment with thin walls and our downstairs neighbor has decided it is useful to bang on the floor with something when DS starts crying. A few times that has actually upset DS worse, so last night I yelled, "You aren't helping!" at the floor. I'm hoping they heard and will refrain. I don't know if they think we're snoozing away ignoring our crying baby or what...it isn't like we have a TV blaring or something! We have an upset toddler we're trying to soothe!