ok, so when you did CIO...
bosha711
member
I know this has been talked about to death already, but if you don't mind...
Please tell me about your process for going in & checking LO, did you pick them up or just rub their back, etc? How long did you let them cry? How long did it take overall? and anything else you may want to share.
If it were solely up to me, I would have done CIO several months ago. DS is not a terrible sleeper, but I would love it if he would consistently sleep straight through without waking in the middle of the night. We've had a handful of nights where he has gone 8-5:30, but other than that, he typically wakes up once anywhere between 1:30am-4am. I try to sooth him, but usually end up caving in & nursing him back to sleep.
MH is slowly coming around to the idea of CIO. So, I think if I presented him with a clear plan, he may be willing to try it.
So, please help me!! Thanks
Re: ok, so when you did CIO...
I know I've posted a lot this week about it!! I did straight up "extinction" CIO- no going in at all. LO gets too worked up if I go in, and it starts the whole process all over again- he ends up crying longer overall.
We had 2 night wakings for a while, and I did CIO to drop one of them. He had one waking (between 1 and 3) for like 3 months. We just started CIO again last Wed night, so it's been a week and going great!
We started by going in every 5-10 minutes, rubbing his back, and quietly walking back out. It only made him more hysterical, and he would flip out (falling down, bumping his head on the railings, etc.).
Finally, we just realized that if we were going to do CIO, we had to go full-fledge. When we would leave him to cry, he probably thought, "Oh, if I cry for 10 minutes, they'll come back." or "20 minutes and they'll come back," etc.
The first night we decided to not go back in, he cried for over an hour. I wanted to die! It was horrible, but I was able to watch him on the monitor, and I knew he was fine. He slept through the whole night after over an hour of crying. The second night, he cried for 20 minutes. The third night, he didn't cry at all, and he's been sleeping 10-11 hours a night since!! He does wake and cry occasionally, but he easily puts himself back to sleep within minutes.
We also saw that since we did this, not only have his nights been awesome, but he's napping better during the day too! Two naps a day (the first is usually around 2 hours, the second 1-2 hours). He is such a happy baby, and I'm so glad I sucked it up and did CIO. It's been great for us!
we did ferber(ish) at 5.5 months.
we had been trying to soothe him to sleep and it wasnt working anymore, he would cry for up to 2 hours in our arms until he fell asleep. one night my husband set him down to take a breather (and came to tell me he was a bad dad) and then it was quiet. he fussed himself to sleep in 2 minutes. within a couple of weeks of the initial fussing to sleep he dropped his night feedings on his own. first 2 and then a few weeks later, the 3rd phased out.
however, he would not nap and i was having to bounce him to sleep 3 times during each nap. so our sleep training was really just for naps. we did the check ins exactly at the intervals that ferber advises. we did not pick him up but would pat his bottom or give him his lovey and walk out. it would make him pretty angry and i think did take longer than extinction would have (8 days i think) but its what we could emotionally handle at the time. night time would not take as long i dont think.
you could also try phasing out the night feeds by giving less milk...like just one side. or if your husband isnt comfortable with CIO still, have him walk LO. that will take a while though, and he might cave to CIO.
good luck!
We did extinction too. No going in while LO is crying because it just get worse. I do however time the crying. If she's crying for more than 20 minutes and not calming down, I'll go in because more often than not she's dirty or woke up from a nightmare.
This is where we struggle- DS definitely cries harder when we come in the room, but yet we can't stand letting him cry longer than like 10 minutes. So, maybe I'll start with that time limit & go from there?
Thanks for all your input!
This was pretty much us. We initially did CIO to get her to go to sleep on her own and stay asleep (she was waking after 45 minutes most nights), and then again to eliminate her one night waking. For the night waking, it only took 3 nights, and she has STTN since. GL!
griffin used to go crazy and cry even more if i peeked in on him during a night waking and not pick him up. thats how i knew i had to just let him CIO.
DH wanted to try CIO at 3 months but that was way too early for me. we tried it at 5.5 months and im happy we did. if i were to do it now griff would be standing up and crying 'mama' and that would kill me. its totally worth it though. GL!
Extintion is was worked the best for us as well.
Now that he STTN consistantly, if he has an off night and cries in the middle of the night I give it 5-10 mins before going in - since I know something must be off since he normally is a great sleeper.
Even though his teething we've heard him wake up once or twice in the night randomly, but he goes back to sleep with only 1-2 mins of crying.
We used Ferber when M was younger (trying to break away from hourly wakings). Now we're trying to cut out feeds, we're using extinction - mostly because, as the others have said, she cries more when we 'check' her, and I'm trying to cut out crying in teh middle of the night, so as to not disturb DS.
We started again last night (we were back to 3 wakings with the last bout of teething), and last night it was 25 min of on and off crying before she went to sleep. We are working on cutting out her first feed (anywhere between 11 and 3), and then will work on the second, etc. But I think we're going to do extinction. She's in her bed, we're there, she's cross with us for not going to her, maybe a little hungry out of routine and habit, but that's it.
We did Ferberish. Went in at 5, 7, 10 and patted his belly, sang a few lines of our goodnight song and went back out.
Now that he's a little older, I think we'd go more extinction because seeing us would just make him madder.
Good luck!
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
We did it at 7 months. I was SO TIRED! After 7 months of waking 3x a night, I was done. So I think that helped because I was exhausted. We decided no matter what, we would not get him when he cried.
I was really skeptical....but it worked.
He typically would awake at 12, 3 and 6. Nurse and go right back down.
Night one he cried an hour.
Night two 10 mins.
Night three slept through the night 9pm-5am without waking.
Has done it almost every night now for nearly 3 months, but now sleeps in longer.
If I could change one thing, I'd done it sooner.