Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

What a horid experience. Joining - ticker warnings! (long)

I lost my 2nd child on Sunday/Monday and I'm just gaining the strength to write/vent about it. First ... the F*ing bump won't let me change my ticker. I spent 20 minutes searching for how to update it then 10 minutes looking for bump memorial tickers (that don't exist) and I'm just pissed. I'm pissed at everyone who is saying they know how I feel. I wish Facebook didn't exist because I'm close to b*itching out half my friends and family. Who don't deserve it, but I'm so angry I can't help it. I wish it was 5 days ago and I went to the hospital at the first twinge of pain instead of googling round ligament pain to calm my nerves. 

 I'm so sorry for all the losses on this board and I am grateful to have been lurking for a few days and finally getting the courage to tell my story. On Friday I had slight cramping that had me worried but I thought I could hold out until my check up Monday morning. I took it really easy on Saturday and felt much better. On Sunday I felt back to normal and went to church, the store, cooked dinner and cleaned. At 11:30 that night I woke up in severe pain and knew I had to go to the hospital immediately. We were there in about 20 minutes and I was examined within 10 of getting there. The ER doctor said, "I don't have any confirmation of this but I'm sorry, it feels like something is coming out." After an ultrasound they confirmed my membranes and baby were moving into the birth canal. I delivered a boy at 2:10 am at 17w2d. At some point between the ultrasound and delivery his heart stopped. It's a "grey area" between miscarriage and stillborn.

I'm so heartbroken, thank you for being here and letting me vent. I have found support on this board already and I hope I can give some too.  

Re: What a horid experience. Joining - ticker warnings! (long)

  • I am SOOOOOOO sorry that you are going through that!   Thoughts and prayers are with you! This board definitely helps with the grieving process

    BabyFruit Ticker BFP #7 2/4/13- EDD 10/20/13
  • My thoughts and prayers and with you!  I cannot imagine what you are feeling.  I have had some bad experiences on the bump but have had nothing but great ones on this board.  Maybe you need a FB break.  I do that every once in awhile and always feel much better.

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  • I am so very sorry for you loss. My heart breaks for you and your husband. I'm glad to see you figured out how to get your memorial ticker. Hoping you find comfort and support here. We're all here for you. ((hugs))

    *Offering Help regarding Facebook:

    In your newsfeed you can hide stories you don't want to see. Place your mouse on the story you don't want to see - in the top right corner of it there is a down arrow - click the arrow and then 'hide story'. It will no longer appear in your feed and you won't have to see it anymore (it will stay on that person's wall, but you'll only see it if you go to their profile.) I have done this a lot this week and it's great!

     

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    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it" 
    --Helen Keller 

    4 miscarriages: Nov 2009,  Jan 2011, Sept 2011,  Oct 2012
    IVF Round 1:
    3/4/15: Egg Retrieval
    16 Eggs Retrieved -- 15 Fertilized via ICSI -- 10 Blastocysts Biopsied for PGD & PGS -- 2 (male) Blastocysts Remain for Transfer
    5/13/15: FET -- 5/26/15: BFN
    CANCELLED IVF Round 2.

    Living a happy, child-free life with my best friend.
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  • So sorry you are going through this.  It's a difficult path.  The ladies here have been great and this board is such a good source of comfort.  Know you're not alone in this.
    image
    CRAFTY ME

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    my read shelf:
    Kasi's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • I'm so sorry for what you're going through.  I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to have to have a late loss like that. 

    In regards to FB, I deleted my account altogether last week.  It's been really therapeutic for me to not have to deal with Facebook.  For me, FB was always like a train wreck- if it was there, I felt I had to look at it.  Deleting my account was one of the best things I did for my own personal sanity.  I don't regret it one bit.

    ((Hugs))

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #1 5/2004 Karina Frances born February 6, 2005 8 lb., 6 oz.
    BFP #2 8/2010 Hadleigh Abigail born April 7, 2011 8 lb., 11 oz.
    BFP #3 7/2011 EDD 3/27/12 Missed MC at 12w3d (Sara Grace)
    BFP #4 12/13/11 EDD 8/19/12 Praying for this little baby!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am so very sorry for your loss.  Unexpected 2nd tri losses are traumatic and my heart goes out to you.  I can still remember my delivery like it was yesterday.

    I hope you can find the support you need here.  The women here are wonderful. If you ever need to talk/vent, please PM me.

     Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
    Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012

     After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows

    ((BFP 7/29/13))  ((EDD 4/12/14))  It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!

  • I am so, so sorry for your loss. I had to take a few days away from facebook and email and everyone. I'm just back at work today and inching my way back into the world. I hope you start to feel better soon.
    TTC #1 since Aug 2010 * BFP Aug 2011, EDD April 16 2012 * MMC @ 7w5d, D&C @ 10w5d
    BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
    Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012

    Lilypie - (kqKn)
  • I am so very sorry for your loss, that had to be tough!  (((BIG HUGS)))  as PP said, forget facebook.  You, yourself need to heal, we are here for you, that's what this board is for.  But, again I am so sorry for your loss.  
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