F/U to WAHM post
Thanks to everyone who chimed in on my WAHM post a couple weeks ago. I have hired a mom from my natural parents group to come and watch the baby for a few hours two days a week. We've had two attempts now, and both have been pretty miserable. My LO (3 months old) cried and cried and cried when I handed her to the babysitter, and after about 20 minutes, I came out of the office and ended up holding her, then nursing her to sleep. So basically, I ended up paying someone to watch me hold my baby, then watch my baby sleep. I can do that for free. So frustrating.
Any tips on helping LO adjust to having someone new in her life?
ETA: LO was well fed and well-rested when the babysitter arrived. We started by playing together in her room, and then I left after a few minutes while they were happily playing.
Re: F/U to WAHM post
Sadly, I found that I had to leave the house at the beginning to give DD time and space to adjust to the other person. She would stop crying as soon as she couldn't sense me around anymore. The running joke was that I was actually a WACSM- work-at-coffee-shop-mom.
I felt terrible running out while DD was crying, but even DH confirmed that the minute the door closed and I was outside, DD stopped crying.
Jacob and Melissa | Sept. 3, 2007 | Riviera Maya, Mexico
My Knot Bio | My Nest Bio
Leaving the house also helped with the refusing a bottle issue. It was like she refused to drink out of a bottle if she could smell the source nearby.
Our bottle attempts involve having DH or MIL offer the bottle, while I'm either on the opposite side of the house or in the backyard. One time I completely left the house for about 30 minutes, but she still wouldn't take the bottle. We've tried about a dozen times and have always ended up with a frustrated baby. She doesn't even attempt to suck. Just pushes the nipple out of her mouth with her tongue. Do you have other tips we could try? I'm afraid we just waited too long to offer it.
Jacob and Melissa | Sept. 3, 2007 | Riviera Maya, Mexico
My Knot Bio | My Nest Bio
Re: taking the bottle - what worked for us was having DH offer one for one of her MOTN feedings. When she was half-asleep, she took the bottle just fine, and after just a time or too, she had no problems with it during the day either. We also used to have a nanny while I WAHM, and for the first 5 days (7 hours each day), DD was fine playing with the nanny, but when it was time to nap or eat, she'd cry for me. I just let the nanny try to put her to sleep/give her a bottle, then went in if it wasn't working after 5-10 minutes. Eventually on the 6th day, DD went to sleep for the nanny and all was fine after that... so maybe just give it a few more days?
So basically, I ended up paying someone to watch me hold my baby, then watch my baby sleep. I can do that for free. So frustrating.
You paid someone to get to know your baby and handle things so that you could work. Most people do factor in a transition period for the baby before they start work. Consider this your transition period and don't get so upset. Your sitter will figure out what works best with you.
You just described my WAH experience to a T! It took C until he was 6 months to not cry the entire time (sorry I know not helpful). I would go to the McD right around the corner, it was the closest place with wi fi. C would never take a bottle either. we tried and tried for months with no luck. My sitter would pretty much just wrap C and sit on an exercise ball in front of baby einstein (the only time C saw tv until recently). They also would go for walks or just walk around the house. A bath was also a good way to calm him down.
Could your sitter wear your LO?
I got so far behind at work I had to switch positions or get fired. Work was amazing and understanding, but i just felt like my heart was getting ripped out every time I left him, so I rarely left him and work just piled up. I swear C started seperation anxiety at 2 weeks old!
Sorry I don't have anymore advice. The good news is, something magical happened when C learned to crawl. He no longer cried when I wasn't around and he put himself on an eating "schedule". I could plan my days and not feel like a horrible mother everytime I left. He started "school" this week and didn't cry either day I dropped him off. He is social, well adjusted, and has very little seperation anxiety for a toddler that was so incredibly clingy as a baby.
It gets better I promise!
*oh another thing I would do when I needed to work is wrap C and bounce on an exercise ball. I wish I would have learned to back wrap him earlier, it would have made the process so much easier! I would perfect a back wrap and swap out your desk chair for a ball! C took almost all his naps in a wrap with me at the computer.
Hang in there mama!
Ditto PP about having to leave the house.
DS wouldn't take a bottle for us either. I even left for about 3 hours once (once!!!) when my MiL was watching him (the only person who ever got him to take a paci, btw) and he didn't eat the entire time. What I finally did was started him on a sippy cup close to 4 months. We started with these:
https://www.amazon.com/NUK-Learner-Silicone-Single-Colors/dp/B002UXQRLG/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1317354198&sr=1-1
And the first one we used we even cut a slit between the two holes so that the milk would come out regardless. Whoever was giving the sippy had to hold DS in an upright position (I think pointed away from them) so that it was in no way like nursing, or he would flat out refuse. Since pumped bm was literally dribbling into his mouth this way, he caught on that this was another source of food that he could live with if I'm not around.
The really weird thing is around...maybe 7 months we tried Tommee Tippee bottles like this:
https://www.tommeetippee.us/ctn/522521_blue.html
with fast flow nipples and he took to it really well. With the next kid we plan on trying the Tommee Tippee ones right off the bat. We tried every other bottle we heard of and none of them worked. The Tommee Tippees just do seem to mimic real nipples better than most. Well, they mimic MY nipples better than most, which is the whole point with my kiddoes.
HTH!
Thanks for sharing your experiences! My friend and I decided to give it a month, and see how things are going after that. I know it's an adjustment for everyone involved. It's just hard to be patient when your baby is crying.
And thanks for the link on the sippy cup! I ordered one to try out. Fingers crossed!
Jacob and Melissa | Sept. 3, 2007 | Riviera Maya, Mexico
My Knot Bio | My Nest Bio