Did it take you awhile to be taken seriously?

smalltownmama

Thinking back on this long journey, I know I had a *feeling* that something was wrong very early on. Maybe b/c when TTC #1 we were mostly NTNP for a good chunk of the 6 months that it took to get pregnant, and when we started hardcore trying I conceived pretty soon after. This time we were hardcore trying from the beginning, charting, etc....I just knew after a few months that I *should* have been pregnant.

When I first went to the doctor, she totally blew me off. According to her, my husband and I were obviously fertile b/c we had conceived fairly easily the first time. She refused to listen to my concerns (weird sciatic pain during the TWW...which ironically, we still don't know if it is related to our infertility or not, heaven knows we have enough other issues going on.)

Even after we found out that DH had a severely low sperm count and that conceiving naturally again was very unlikely, my friends and family just really didn't believe that we weren't going to get pregnant. My mom was convinced it would happen again "soon", one of my friends was all, "Well, so maybe it will take 8 months this time instead of 6. Keep trying!" (this was before he had varicocele surgery- he had 3 million total sperm *eye roll*)

Now DH's count is borderline normal, but I have DOR at the ripe old age of 27. After 2 years of TTC, one m/c and 15 months after being told about DH's MFI......I feel like people are FINALLY starting to believe that we have a serious problem.

pmarie33

We don't tell people we are TTC.

jdp

Since DD people (even close family) have made comments like, "oh, since it already happened it should be no problem"  Dumb, especially that it took us 3 1/2 years to get pg with DD (totally shocking bfp).  That is really too bad that your Dr is on that bandwagon.  Personally I would switch doctors and find someone who will really listen to what you have been through.  Good luck!

JMay

I felt blown off by doctors for a long time - by an Endo when I was young (he thought I was too young and too unmarried to be worried about my reproductive health), then by a string of OBs.  I realized eventually that I wasn't the problem - the problem is that they didn't know what they were talking about, in spite of good intentions.  Same with family.  The few who know either don't know what they are talking about, don't know what to say, or are tired of hearing about it.  (And then of course there are the few who dismis you entirely because you have one already, it's not like you don't have "any")  It's for this reason that I choose to keep my mouth shut and just talk mostly to you Ladies.  I talk to my Mom once in a while, and I have one good friend who understands and has been incredibly supportive, but can't relate as she's about to pop w/ #4.  She's really the only one who I feel takes me seriously though.  I just stopped trying to get people to understand and come to the Bump! 

smalltownmama

jdp:

Since DD people (even close family) have made comments like, "oh, since it already happened it should be no problem"  Dumb, especially that it took us 3 1/2 years to get pg with DD (totally shocking bfp).  That is really too bad that your Dr is on that bandwagon.  Personally I would switch doctors and find someone who will really listen to what you have been through.  Good luck!

 

Oh, my doctor switched gears after DH's seman anaylysis/my labwork and told us we have less than a 5% chance of getting pregnant. I basically went from everyone blowing me off to being told I would never have more children.

smacb

I knew we had a problem with my second miscarriage.  The doctor blew me off.  My Ob took me seriously when I had my ectopic, but one of the other doctor's in the practice was really dismissive and refused to do any blood work.  I had to find a new OB and beg for blood work.  I specifically asked for a thyroid test.  A third Ob finally referred me to an RE

Coxity

I was blown off by my OB, but my RE has always been welcoming and respectful. My OB had me start some tests for #2 (knowing my history with DD#1), but then never called me with results until 2 months later when she called to tell me that my day 21 progesterone never showed up. Yeah...that bus left the station a loooooong time ago.

I, luckily, had the results sent to my RE, too, and she took care of me from there. At my earlier appt, My OB refused to refer me to the RE that I had seen for DD#1. She wanted to send me to her guy and ignored my protests that I had already developed a relationship with the first person. I did an end run and called the RE directly. I'm questioning whether I'll go back to the OB if/when I get pregnant.

byrne15

I feel the exact same way.

Except DH's still thinks that we will have another child even if all the IUI's don't work.  Somehow magically, I'll get pregnant after 7 failed IUI's and MFI.

AmandaMacD

After 2 1/2 years of TTC #2, certain people STILL don't believe we have a problem.  Apparently, I am just trying to hard to force something to happen

I am fortunate that most family and friends are very understanding and supportive, but there are the few that don't get it.

choirgirl

By doctors? No. For once, my age was helpful. After 5 months of TTC DS, but at age 38, my OB took me seriously and did a clomid challenge test, had me get an HSG, and did one more month of clomid before turfing me to the RE. So for him I was 38 and had tried for 7 months, so no issue. (we conceived spontaneously on a break before we were about to do an IUI).

After DS, and we had tried for 4 momths, I knew something was wrong and DH thought I was crazy, We saw the RE again and he immediately did BW and found I definitely had issues, and recommended going straight to IVF, which we would have done if it were covered by insurance.

So, so, not with the doctors. But with DH? Yes, in fact I don't think he thought there was a problem until maybe 2-3 months ago.

With friends? With the ones who went through IF or 2IF, no. The ones who never had problems still barely think there's a problem or think at age 41 it's time to just raise the one I have. The ones without kids just think I'm crazy, but I understand that.

 

 

lillinzlou

AmandaMacD:

After 2 1/2 years of TTC #2, certain people STILL don't believe we have a problem.  Apparently, I am just trying to hard to force something to happen

I am fortunate that most family and friends are very understanding and supportive, but there are the few that don't get it.

YES! I have family members who say, "Look at your daughter, you can't tell me that your not supposed to have another one." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you have a direct line to God and he told you something that he didn't tell me. 

Oh, you're just trying too hard. Well, we didn't try at all the first 6 months...Fertile people drive me crazy!

 The first visit with my RE he said, "You've had one pregnancy in 4 years. It's a good thing you came to me first." No problem with the doctor, obviously.