I'm think I may be in a jam with my ex-SIL

lilbit923

I made my niece a princess dress for Halloween. My older brother and his (2nd) ex-wife are in the middle of a heated court battle. It's a freaking nightmare. Well, I think my niece is feeling the issues from this. It's just sad. His ex and I still talk but instead of our convos being about our friendship it always turns to my bro and his new wife. Ugh.

So I got the costume done tonight.
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Halloween this year is on a Monday and Katie will be with my brother, not her mom. I haven't said anything to my ex-SIL about the costume because it always turns into her trying to pump me for information. I can't stand being caught in the middle. I made this, not as a favor to either my brother or ex-SIL. I want my niece to have something pretty for Halloween since she thinks dresses like this "don't come in her size".

So when ex-SIL sees pics of her daughter in this dress, I know I will get texts, calls, emails, etc. What do I say to her? I'm sure she will word it like I'm on my brother's side. I'm not. He and I don't speak. I have this feeling it will be turned around like somehow I suck as an aunt.

What would you do?

GHBEA

I would just say that niece said they don't make dresses like this in her size and you wanted to make it as a surprise for her.  Because you are a super aunt.

lilbit923

GHBEA:

I would just say that niece said they don't make dresses like this in her size and you wanted to make it as a surprise for her.  Because you are a super aunt.

I've been through divorce and it sucks. When you have LO's while going through it I've found it adds a whole different dynamic to emotions you go through and the kids do too. Katie's parents are fighting over who gets custody so lots of mud slinging is going on. I would like to see Katie have normal experiences in her life without the arguing between those two parents she has. I really don't want to see a nice gesture get twisted into something bad.

rae_dylanzmom

lilbit923:

GHBEA:

I would just say that niece said they don't make dresses like this in her size and you wanted to make it as a surprise for her.  Because you are a super aunt.

I've been through divorce and it sucks. When you have LO's while going through it I've found it adds a whole different dynamic to emotions you go through and the kids do too. Katie's parents are fighting over who gets custody so lots of mud slinging is going on. I would like to see Katie have normal experiences in her life without the arguing between those two parents she has. I really don't want to see a nice gesture get twisted into something bad.

I think you said it very well in this post. Sometimes it's difficult to be direct when emotions are so high, but if you said/wrote (most of) this to them it would explain your actions well. GL!

rimjob

Just let her know that you made the dress for Katie because she wanted a princess dress.  End of Story.  Even if the mom can't see it now, she will when the dust settles.  This is about Katie and has nothing to do with either one of them.  Someday I would hope that she will be able to see that and be thankful that you were there to make it.  GL

OctGirl80

rimjob:

Just let her know that you made the dress for Katie because she wanted a princess dress.  End of Story.  Even if the mom can't see it now, she will when the dust settles.  This is about Katie and has nothing to do with either one of them.  Someday I would hope that she will be able to see that and be thankful that you were there to make it.  GL

 

All of this.