s/o - how do you feel about double middle names?

Tambcat

H and I agreed a long time ago that if we have a boy, he will have my maiden name as a middle name. All of the people in my generation in my branch of the fam are women, and I think I'm the only one who cares enough to pass the name along in some way or form (I also hyphenate my name).

But now H has decided that he wants to pass along HIS middle name, which was his grandfather's name.  I don't want to use it as a first name for various reasons, but I thought about using it as a middle name as a compromise. HOWEVER, it would have to be the first middle name and my maiden name would be the second, b/c they sound weird the other way around. 

So now I am afraid that if we do that, my maiden name will be relegated to the kid's "extra" name and will be excluded from everything for reasons of symplicity.

WDYT? Does anyone have two middle names? Does it suck? Do you just ignore the second one?

To be honest, I'm kind of annoyed by the whole thing since he already gets to pass along his last name to all the kids, and I think we should just use my family names for middle names and agree on first names and leave it at that, but whatever.

Moneypenny424

Now that I'm married I have 2 middle names (First Middle Maiden Married).  It's generally fine, except that I can't use both on most documents, so I have to choose.  I end up using my Maiden name as my "main" middle name because a lot of people know me as my maiden name.

It'll be annoying Scantrons, your license, etc., but other than that, I don't think it will be a problem.

Can you use your maiden name as the first MN?

photonbug

I don't have two mn but everyone does on my moms side and I couldn't tell you what they are.  The second one just gets dropped really.  I would tell him he gets the last name.  You get the middle name and you have to agree on the first name.  I told my DH that I have to do all the work in brining little one into the world and he already gets the last name so I have final say

countdowntolockdown

My friend had 4 names after she got married and she regretted it when she applied for loans, important ID docs, etc.  She said she wishes she would've just gotten rid of her middle name.

My sister somewhat has 4 names because her first is hyphenated.  She often just cuts off the part after the hyphen for professional reasons. So to her it's somewhat of a pain. 

Having said this, I don't think you're being unreasonable.  Seems like your hubby is trying to change the rules in the middle of the game. You're right, he technically gets two names.  

Good luck! 

Tambcat

I think he just thinks of the last name as a cultural given, so it doesn't count as him getting something. lol. If we end up having a boy, I might just tell him to save his middle name in case we have a second boy later. Although, he'll probably be all "but want if we don't!!"

I can't really reverse the order b/c the name he wants is one syllable, my maiden name is two, and then our last name is one. It sounds weird if they are reversed.

I would just use his as a first name, but combined with the last name, it's the name of a famous person... and not just some flash in the pan starlet but someone everyone will know of across multiple generations. I also can't use my maiden name as a first name b/c it's the name of a famous character, and I already get comments just having it in my last name. WOE is me! lol

MarxieVonTrapp

I have a friend with two middle names and it's not an issue for him, although on documents he only uses one.

I had a friend whose name was (changed) Ann-Marie Elizabeth Smith (maiden) Washington (married) and she actually demanded everyone use all those names.  We all called her Ann Washington.

carawestt

My husband has two middle names - Robert & Thomas. But he only uses Robert on paperwork, driver's license, etc.

Tambcat

And I know I don't even know the sex yet, but I'm convinced I'm having a boy, and I already lie awake at night worrying about this! lol. I hate arguing with H.

Tambcat

dup

SKWCM80

All of our children will have more than one middle name. I'm of west african descent, so each set of grandparents get to pick middle name. DD actually has 3 middle names, but only one appears on her social security card.

I'm with you though, I think if your husband gets to pass on his last name, you should be able to use your family names as mm. Particularly, if you have agreed on that previously.

CTbride79

Double middle names are somewhat common in DH's family...one of his sisters has 2 middle names, and she had a baby boy last year who also has 2 middle names, one to honor his uncles (including DH) and the other after my FIL. I don't see a problem with it, except for the fact of what do you do say your middle initial is, i.e. on paperwork etc., it seems like it would get confusing. SIL's middle names both start with the same letter so she just uses that letter as her m.i. but it'll be a different story with my nephew. I would fight to just have your maiden name be the middle name if I were you...you could always tell him the next boy will get his name...although you may just have girls and never have to worry about it!

KaitQuinn

Moneypenny424:

Now that I'm married I have 2 middle names (First Middle Maiden Married).  It's generally fine, except that I can't use both on most documents, so I have to choose.  I end up using my Maiden name as my "main" middle name because a lot of people know me as my maiden name.

It'll be annoying Scantrons, your license, etc., but other than that, I don't think it will be a problem.

Can you use your maiden name as the first MN?

 

I did this as well.  The only problem is that my original middle name was my mom's maiden name so I sound a little like a law firm.  Other than it being a little long it has been fine for me.  When I was changing my name my MIL told me that it is always better to add names than to take the history away

Tambcat

Maybe I could tell H that the tradition with his name seems to be that it skips a generation, so our kid should be using it, not us. He's big on tradition. lol

pensparade

I love double middle names. I know people with them and they don't hate it! As kids they thought they were special for having two mn's.

I work with birth records often and see double middle names all the time. IMO, it's nbd! I'd do it if DH would let me

ImThisBabysMom

I don't like them. It's just too much to me. I told DH if it's a boy, the middle name is my dad's first name. If it's a girl, the middle name is my mom's first name. He said, "what about my parents?" I said, "they already get your family name, our last name."

I think if you can convince him to just let it be the one name, then great. But if not, there are several people that have 2 middle names and it doesn't hurt anyone.

TheOriginalSP

I'm not crazy about it but it's one of those to each their own.  I dated a guy who had two middle names.  His mom's maiden name and then another middle name. 

Having my girls with just one middle name is enough, espcially becuase I use their middles names often!  lol

raynes

My H and his siblings have 2 middle names (don't even get me started on feminizing males names for SILs mn's) and he likes it, because they're meaningful.  On some documents only one and the second's initial show up, on other it's the 2 initials.

Funny story, on his voter registration card they've got one of the initials wrong.  So instead of First J D Last, it's First V D Last.  I joke that he's now a venereal disease.

benoitfan

Our DS has two middle names.  We had decided on his middle name being my MILs maiden name because we liked the name and thought it was a nice thing to do for MIL.  DH decided he wanted our son to have his name as a middle name, so to appease him I agreed, but it is DS second middle name and I never use it.  It is on his birth cert, but that is the extent ot it.

krystalxyz

Tambcat:

I think he just thinks of the last name as a cultural given, so it doesn't count as him getting something. lol. If we end up having a boy, I might just tell him to save his middle name in case we have a second boy later. Although, he'll probably be all "but want if we don't!!"

I can't really reverse the order b/c the name he wants is one syllable, my maiden name is two, and then our last name is one. It sounds weird if they are reversed.

I would just use his as a first name, but combined with the last name, it's the name of a famous person... and not just some flash in the pan starlet but someone everyone will know of across multiple generations. I also can't use my maiden name as a first name b/c it's the name of a famous character, and I already get comments just having it in my last name. WOE is me! lol

 

I am so curious what your names are now, please share! Puh-lease!

Tambcat

I can't share last names on the bump! Sorry.

The name he wants to use is James. I'll probably even delete this. This board seems safe, but some boards are cah-razy!

shealy12

I hate double middle names.  I just feel like it's too much.  My step sister in law (hubby's side) gave her children double middle names.  And on top of that, the kids each have a nickname 'Dub' and 'Chip' - which has nothing to do with any of their names.  The oldest one is 4, and he tells us his first name is his name...not his nickname or middle names.  I just feel like he's going to be soooo confused.  Maybe this situation is why I don't like double middle names - haha.    

I think since you're carrying this baby, you should get slightly more say, and plus your maiden name is not getting carried on any other way.  He can have the next boys middle name   That's what I would tell my hubby. 

manchipollard

I have 2 middle names and use them both. All of my legal documents have the names hyphenated on them. They are both of my grandmothers names and I love honoring them both. I couldn't choice just one. 

FusionLMT

I had two middle names growing up and never liked it. I think they are dumb, and when I got married I dropped my second one since it was never on anything other than my birth cert and SS card, and was just confusing at certain times when applying for things. I did end up using my maiden name as my son's first name, but it is becoming a fairly common one and flows well with the rest of his name.

devious1031

I have 2 middle names but it was a total accident.  Dad wasn't there that day to fill out the birth certificate so the doc put down his last name as a 2nd middle name and gave me my mothers last name. I never use it and it's only recently been added to my social security card (had to, not wanted to).

krystalxyz

Tambcat:

I can't share last names on the bump! Sorry.

The name he wants to use is James. I'll probably even delete this. This board seems safe, but some boards are cah-razy!

 

I understand, but you gotta admit, you're kinda a tease 

biblionerd

I honestly hate dbl middle names. Sorry I had a long regular three word name growing up and Hated it. If it were my dh I would tell him to get over himself for wanting the baby to have two of his names. Or else I'd tell him the baby and I would just keep my maiden name as both of our last names and then he could do whatever he wanted with the MN ..