Potty training - Home: good. Daycare: bad. Help? — The Bump
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Potty training - Home: good. Daycare: bad. Help?

Okay, if anyone has any tips please feel free to share.

Brady has been wearing underwear full time at home with us (including sleeping and nap time) for 5-6 weeks now.  He really seems to have the pee thing down and will poop on the potty sometimes but really only if we catch him at the right time.  He doesn't tell us 100% of the time that he needs to go but if we take him frequently we have no accidents.

He has been wearing pull-ups at school during this time and they take him to sit on the potty every time they have diapering/potty time and he was going anywhere from 1-3 times per day in the potty and other times in the pull-ups.  So, thanks to some advice on here and from other people we decided to start sending him to school in underwear to see if we could get him out of the pull-ups and going regularly on the potty.  

Well, we started underwear on Monday and he has not peed in the potty at school a single time (including today - I just called to check) and basically is now getting mad when they try to make him sit on the potty and refusing to go.  Even though they have been taking him every 45 minutes - 1 hour today he has not peed in the potty once and has had 5 accidents so far!  When he was in pull-ups he was not fighting them like this when they sat him on the potty.

So, this is terrible.  What do we do?  Do we just back off and put him back in pull-ups for a while until he starts cooperating more?  Do we give it the rest of the week to see if things change?  Is there anything we can/should do to get him to sit on the potty at school rather than trying to jump off and refusing to go?  I mean, he doesn't always want to sit on the potty with us, but we usually can talk him into it pretty easily.  He took to potty training at home so quickly and we're really at a loss for why he is doing so poorly at school.

Like I said, if anyone has tips feel free to share.  Thanks! 

 

ETA: Oh, and he also will go potty for us when we're out shopping or in restaurants, etc., so I don't think it's an issue of only going at home. 

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Mommy to Abigail Elizabeth (11/4/11) and Brady Jasper (7/2/09)
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my blog

Re: Potty training - Home: good. Daycare: bad. Help?

  • We had the opposite problem.  P NEVER had ONE accident at school once we put the panties on.  However there were some accidents at home.  We just stuck with it and by the time a week went by the accidents were a thing of the past.  So, just stay consistent.  He'll get it.
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  • Sounds like he is making it a control battle for them.  Opposite of what most kids do, but certainly not unheard of.  I would ask his teachers what they prefer.  They will probably say Pull Ups so go with that.  It probably won't affect his PT at home at all.  Whatever you do, don't make it a battle!  Send him a few pairs of underwear and tell him that he can ask for them if he wants and ask his teachers to remind him they are in his bag/cubby but not force it. 

    Also, ask them if they can let him go in when the other boys are going.  This is 100% how Gavin learned to pee standing up.  We thought he would pee sitting down till he went to college!  All the other boys at school would stand in a circle around the toilet and pee.  She said Gavin stood and watched for a long time.  Then one day, out of nowhere, he walked up and did it too.  He's been doing it ever since.  I swear, every single kid has his/her "catch"- some part that just takes a while to click. They might get A and B, but C is a struggle.  For Gavin it was poops.  But eventually, right when I was about to give up (after 6 LONG months!), he got it.  So hang in there!!! 

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  • I disagree with slw...(respectfully :) )  I think you should stick with the undies.  If you (or they) cave and do the pullups you are giving him an inch, he'll take a mile...he's 2!  He needs to know you mean business.  If its a control thing, show him you are in control by getting out fresh undies instead of a pullup.  Every time.  The daycare staff have dealt with worse than a few accidents from a stubborn 2 yo!  I think the PT thing will work out faster (and better for everyone) if you just stick to the undies.  Otherwise you are sending a message that he can control you with the accidents, IMO. Haven't you ever watched Supernanny?  The waffle-y parents have 4 yos still peeing their pants on purpose!  I'd tell them to say "Its no biggie but big boys go potty." and move on with life.  P literally had like 4 total accidents (pee pee) at home by just sucking it up and dealing with it.  If he were 18 months and you were just trying to get him PT'ed before November I'd just say wait until he is ready, but clearly, B is a big boy and its time.  Be ready for some more regression once your baby arrives, though.
  • Thanks ladies.  We're definitely sticking with it at least the rest of this week and seeing how it goes.  I just don't want it to turn into a negative experience for him.  We just continue to try to be very encouraging when we are with him and he does sit on the potty and remind him that big boys pee in the potty.  We are trying bribery, too.  I told him if he will just sit on the potty and "try" then I'll have lots of stickers for him when I pick him up and we have a special toy for him if he starts peeing in the potty at school again.  Who knows if it will work but we'll see.

    And yes, we are definitely expecting regression when the baby comes.  He's got about 6 more weeks to practice this before that, though, so maybe we can at least get a solid foundation before then.  Fingers crossed!  :) 

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    Mommy to Abigail Elizabeth (11/4/11) and Brady Jasper (7/2/09)
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  • imageebearwife:
    I disagree with slw...(respectfully :) )  I think you should stick with the undies.  If you (or they) cave and do the pullups you are giving him an inch, he'll take a mile...he's 2!  He needs to know you mean business.  If its a control thing, show him you are in control by getting out fresh undies instead of a pullup.  Every time.  The daycare staff have dealt with worse than a few accidents from a stubborn 2 yo!  I think the PT thing will work out faster (and better for everyone) if you just stick to the undies.  Otherwise you are sending a message that he can control you with the accidents, IMO. Haven't you ever watched Supernanny?  The waffle-y parents have 4 yos still peeing their pants on purpose!  I'd tell them to say "Its no biggie but big boys go potty." and move on with life.  P literally had like 4 total accidents (pee pee) at home by just sucking it up and dealing with it.  If he were 18 months and you were just trying to get him PT'ed before November I'd just say wait until he is ready, but clearly, B is a big boy and its time.  Be ready for some more regression once your baby arrives, though.

    See, but here's the thing.  Parents are NOT in control of this!  Potty and eating are the 2 things that kids CAN and will control.  Forcing him into underwear can backfire big time- that's how kids end up constipated or with bladder infections from holding it.  I was pretty hardcore with the 3DPT and followed it to the letter.  But there were times when we had to go back to Pull Ups for a while afterwards just because of circumstances (illness, travel, new school transition, church, etc.)  It really never impacted his willingness to go potty... but putting him in underwear when he was asking for a Pull Up definitely backfired on us more than once.  So, yes, I agree with giving it the rest of this week and then if its still going on... I'm sticking with my original answer... do Pull Ups at school for a while and let his teachers make the decision when to try the underwear again.  If you like his teachers and you trust their judgement this is a no-brainer.  Yes, the teachers have dealt with worse, but personally, I don't think its right to expect them to clean up messes all day long.  It's more than wiping up a little pee- they have to actually sanitize everything (toys, rugs, blankets, etc).  It can be quite an ordeal and there are plenty of centers that will just put him in a pull up regardless if they think he's not ready.  Now, if you're questioning his teachers (like I did with Gavin's old school) then that's a whole other issue!

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  • I would it give it a try and keep having him wear his underwear for a couple more days. Hopefully, he'll get used to it and move forward with pottying at school. Best of luck!

  • He loves the big boy underwear and was actually fighting me in the mornings when I would take his underwear off to put on his pull-up for school.  That's why we were so surprised that he is acting this way at school now that he is in underwear.  We will probably back off for a week or two and go back to pull-ups at school, though, if there is no improvement today or tomorrow.  His teachers are on board with this and have been pretty understanding this week.  I'm sure it will all work out eventually, it's just hard to figure out what is right for him since all kids are different and have different issues.
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    Mommy to Abigail Elizabeth (11/4/11) and Brady Jasper (7/2/09)
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    my blog
  • I don't have any advice but wanted to wish you lots of luck! I'm bookmarking this for when we try PT again in a couple months.
    Derek 6.30.09 & Parker 4.1.11
    Family
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