"Assigning" a gift

Happily Overwhelmed

Not really a baby showers question but...

MIL keeps telling DH and I to "assign her a gift". This is super awkward for me! Not only do I not have a clue what her price point is, but don't feel like gifts should be "assigned". DH and I pretty much have baby things taken care of and I don't have a clue what else is needed at this point. She acted upset when she found out that the crib was already taken care of (it took 14 weeks to order...did she really think we're going to wait until the 3rd trimester?).

I feel like buying her grandchild a gift is important to her. But don't feel like it's my job to "assign" her anything. For some reason it kind hurts for her to even say it like that...

Anyone have something to suggest?

weddingbells2010

My MIL was the same way, and when it got to the point that I put my awkwardness aside and just said, "we could use X, Y or Z".. she didn't want to get any of those things anyway.  It's a no-win situation.

If you've registered, just tell her to go through the registry and pick out whatever she'd like and surprise you.  If you say it enough she'll get the hint. 

zurawsk5

Keeping with the non traditional route suggested by a PP, what about a gift certificate for sitting fees with a photographer? Or some sort of photo package for newborn/3 m/6m/9m/12m/family/whatever pictures you want?

Liz4444

My MIL told us to just buy whatever and she will give us a check, maybe she would want to pay for the crib even though it's already been ordered? 

She could also get you the layette.  It's an important thing, fun to buy, and she can get it at any price point from any store depending on her budget.  If she goes to Saks or Bloomingdales, if you spend a certain amount of $ (I believe $150 at bloomies and $250 at saks), they give you a free moses basket and wrap it up all fancy.  It's a really nice gift. 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

Have your husband tell her, "sorry, we're not going to assign you a gift"

 

My IL's are divorced and my MIL is pretty immature about the whole situation so we were running into her competing for getting a better gift than her ex.  It was totally ridiculous.  My father has extra money to throw around and she's just scraping by on her own.  The whole situation sucked.

Happily Overwhelmed

Thanks ladies. I guess I just wish she would have asked sooner. I'm excited she wants to buy us something...I'm just not really sure what at this stage.

I'm going to make a list of a few things and see if anything perks her interest.

MarSamWhitney

She probably means well, and just wants to buy you something important. Good Luck!

hisbeautyalways

My mom wanted me to tell her what to get us as well... However, when I asked her budget, she said she didn't know.

We settled for printing off our registries for her (at her request), and she mentioned she would prefer to get multiple moderately priced items than one large one, so the registries will be a perfect guide for her. Maybe you could just refer her to your registry and state that you prefer not to know what she's getting ahead of time?

Happily Overwhelmed

hisbeautyalways:

My mom wanted me to tell her what to get us as well... However, when I asked her budget, she said she didn't know.

We settled for printing off our registries for her (at her request), and she mentioned she would prefer to get multiple moderately priced items than one large one, so the registries will be a perfect guide for her. Maybe you could just refer her to your registry and state that you prefer not to know what she's getting ahead of time?

Unfortuantly since we're not having a shower we don't have a registry. DH and I talked about it last night and are thinking about making on Amazon with a few items. I'm hoping she'll be like your mom and be okay with a few moderately priced items. Being this far along and the offer just coming we're pretty much prepared.

lylipad

Good Luck, I am in a similar situation. Everyone In-laws and parents and Gparents were all super excited when we told them we are expecting and everyone said to let them know what they could get us (and repeated the sentiment the over the next couple of early months). Now that we have things picked out no one is offering to buy anything... I don't really care because its not their responsibility to supply us with baby gear but I feel like I am going to have purchased everything and then they will be disappointed that they can't contribute. On one hand I feel bad on the other I feel like if they were still interested they would follow through when I offer up " Oh guess what I picked out today..." hints.

shamilton223

You can always suggest curtains or something else sold in parts.  Curtains, for instance, are typically sold by the panel.  One panel might run $15-$30 so your MIL could buy one panel or 4 depending on how many you need and her budget.  Even though she is a little late, her heart is definately in the right place, so cut her some slack.  Plus, if there is something you were really wanting and don't have yet, she might be really excited to pick that up for you.

kat81again2

something in the same price range as the crib. carseat, stroller, breast pump, etc.