Anyone keeping their baby's name a secret?

ChavayJakov

Soooooooooo many people are pushy about the baby name thing.

I know, I know, for most it is just a topic to make conversation with - sort of the new "how are you doing?" when speaking with a pregnant woman.  They could care less about the answer.

However, I've run into a few who keep repeating and pumping me for information.

We have a list that we are working with (it's always been a short list) and only the mn is a definite (unless we select a certain first name making this one a III).  Other than our adult children, we haven't shared with anyone.  Well, that's not true, DH broke his promise and told a couple of his family members.

My thing was, and remains, I don't generally want to hear your feedback on our names (general "you").  I don't want to be told the only kid you knew by that name was a nose-picker, or that your ex-wife's lover was that name so you have a bad association with it, or that the name rhymes with banana and the kid will be teased, or that the initials will spell something effeminate or that your favorite name is Daniel or Nickolas and we should run with that.  I don't want casual acquaintances putting things into my head doubting what we love,  or relatives to tell me that they "hate" the name choice or to attempt campaigns to name it after their Uncle Archibald...and I certainly don't want Uncle Pete to be all like "what am I? chop liver?".   I want my child's name to be associated with my child, and the reasons for our choosing the child's name to be our own.

I also don't want to be the mom who goes through her pregnancy calling her baby William only to lay my eyes on him and think oh, he's definitely not a  William.  (Have you heard the stories of mothers having things engraved only to have to fudge around when the baby turns out to be a different sex or the name didn't suit him for some reason?)

OK, it sounds like a vent...it's really not...it's just the further I go in this pregnancy, the more people are expecting to give them status updates.  One woman (the creepy old lady who I told you rubbed my belly a couple of weeks ago) repeated 3x in a row in the same conversation trying to force it out of me.  I'm all like "I don't even know yet" but I'm not sharing my lists either.  

The thing I want to enjoy is officially introducing my little guy to the world.  The name is going to be part of that, I would imagine. 

digwriter

We're definitely keeping the name a secret. For the same reason you've listed and because the middle name will be in homage to either DH's dad or my mom and we want it to be a fun surprise.

MrsJordanalmond

we didn't tell anyone with our first, and won't with this baby ... for the same reasons, not interested in the feedback. 

it pissed off my mother (she thought it was personal ... she thinks EVERYTHING is personal).  but after 42 years i'm quite good at ignoring her ... and honestly, anyone else who doesn't like they way we decide to manage our family.

 

YaraC

We kept the name of our daughter secret and will do the same with this little guy. While my mother never pressed me for the name, it drove my SILs crazy that we wouldn't tell them, to the point where they would get kind of pissy about it. I have no idea why they cared so much as none of them has shown a huge interest in my daughter since she arrived... but I digress.

I didn't want to look at my child and think she didn't look like a Caroline or get anybody's feedback on my choice of name. We had a nickname for her all the way up until her birth and never called her Caroline until she was born. For some reason that seemed like bad luck to me. 

Anyway, this time around I am just telling everybody we haven't decided yet.

benoitfan

With my DS, as soon as we knew he was a boy, we started referring to him by his name.  We weren't shy about it and soon everyone was asking how Carter was doing, rather than how he or the bump were doing.  Honestly, I knew the name fit and it so does.  If he had been a girl, we had a name picked out for her too.  If this one is a girl, we will use the same name and will likely start calling her by that name right after the anatomy scan.  If it's a boy...we are in trouble as to this point we can't agree on a second boy name.  I absolutely refuse the names my husband likes...they are names for dogs, not people!

aglenn

MrsJordanalmond:

we didn't tell anyone with our first, and won't with this baby ... for the same reasons, not interested in the feedback. 

it pissed off my mother (she thought it was personal ... she thinks EVERYTHING is personal).  but after 42 years i'm quite good at ignoring her ... and honestly, anyone else who doesn't like they way we decide to manage our family.

 

This - exactly - including my Mom's reaction!    With DD she would refer to her as "the nameless baby" just to try to get under my skin.  Whatever.

We'll keep it to ourselves with this one, too.  It's our decision and it doesn't need to be up for public debate IMO.

trishinbanff

We call our bump "Hundy" (our last name is Watt and my husband wants to call him Hundred Watt, yeah I know, I know).  But we are not telling for all the reasons you stated.  stick with it!

I tell everyone it's going to be a surprise. Although I told my best friend.  but I tell her everything. 

CheezeFace

I wouldn't tell people even if we had a name figured out.  For all the reasons you listed. 

DH and I are having a silent stand-off on the name issue.  He likes his name, I like mine - I think we are just waiting to wear the other one down.  I'm pretty sure, though, that after I push a baby out of my body I will have the upper-hand in this argument so I'm not worried.

Punken13

With DS#2 we had a name and shared and ever one was like "Well...blah blah" so we changed it and didnt tell a soul until he was born.  The doctor delivered him and said ok whats the name.....and all I could say was can you put me back together first??? (c-section) lol  So this time the name will remain a secrete until the baby is born then I think we will let our boys tell everyone!

Geeps2

We have the double whammy we aren't finding out the sex of the baby so that gets peoples panties in a bunch and we also aren't going to share the names we finally and painstakingly picked out just for the reasons listed below.  EVERYONE has an opinion and we finally agree on a girl name and a boy name and that was nothing short of a miracle so we aren't taking any chances by spilling the beans.  We just  lie and say we are still battling it out.  The only people who know are my sister and my 4 year old niece because she is so excited about having a new baby cousin.  I could name the baby pig pen and my niece wouldn't bat an eye

appylovee

We aren't telling anyone the sex of the baby OR the name.

JFH2010

Definitely not sharing the name with anyone! Not that we've decided on one yet...but I'd rather tell them as a matter of fact, rather than as something they feel they can give an opinion on.

Ximena M

I made the mistake of telling my little sister of the names I was think of and now people have already started to say something.  I had to back track and say it was just the thought process.  I'm not telling anyone until the baby is out.

jb2rn

Well, we have not decided upon a name yet, but we are not sharing the three we have in mind. They will all know when he arrives!

mamasixpack

We had the same problems when we were naming our last. I don't know what is up with people lately that they feel that their opinion actually matters when naming our baby! We had been sharing name ideas until we got a heaping helping of all that you described, then we decided to back track and keep it a secret until he was born. My mother took it very personally but most people were ok with it. It was also a nice surprise how much we enjoyed "introducing" him. We will be doing that again with this baby.

keluptown

Both my husband and myself are not good at keeping the name a secret....we got so excited...we told everyone..LOL...Most loved the name and some do not...I dont let it bother me...I dont remember anyone asking me for my feedback when they chose their baby names

 Good luck Ladies!!

Cristal604

Gender is a secret, and we have even stopped discussing possible names with people because we are not setting on a firm decision until baby is here.   MH's family are loudly opinionated and anything I mention will get analyzed, criticized, etc. 

My MIL asked me again what names we were thinking of, and when I told her that we were not telling, the said "you're horrible!".  Yes, I am horrible, for not wanting everyone in the free world to have open season on what I should name my child. 

Painted Sky

We are keeping the girl name a secret and can't decide on a boy name.