5 weeks and losing my mind

jennype

My twin boys are 5 weeks now.  This past week has been the hardest so far.  They are crying like crazy during the day and fight sleep.  I broke down and got a night nurse 3 nights a week but the days are a living hell!  There is at least one baby crying at all times, if not both, and my brain is about to explode.  And I have no one within 6 hrs that can come give me a hand.  i find myself crying right with them.  Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

natb22

Nights were the hardest for me at that age, not days. Are they on any type of schedule? Eating every 3 hrs, etc? Could it be colic? Maybe reflux?

It is so hard at that age because you can't do much to entertain them.

KarliB84

I actually wrote this very post a few weeks back, it was absolutely unbearable! My girls are two months old now and they are just now becoming a little better. They still cry a great deal but they are much easier to calm down and seeing them smile at me makes everything else worth it! So, yes it does get better! I am still having a really difficult time adjusting and hoping by three months that things will be MUCH better! I just wanted you to know you are not alone and things do get better! : )

violaplayer

It does get better. Right now, it's just survival mode. Get through it any way you can.

*hugs* 

E&RMommy

Yes!  Hang in there.  Those first weeks up till about 2 months were the worst for me by far.

It does get better. 

amanda31H

natb22:

Nights were the hardest for me at that age, not days. Are they on any type of schedule? Eating every 3 hrs, etc? Could it be colic? Maybe reflux?

It is so hard at that age because you can't do much to entertain them.

Same here.  But that's because I wasn't sleeping at night!  I remember when the sun would start to go down that I would get teary because I knew night was coming - make it stop!  Everything seemed "easier" in the light of day.

OP - I wondered the same things as natb22. 

If nothing else is up, all I can tell you is that the first 6 weeks were the hardest for me, it got exponentially easier by the 8th week, and when they hit 3 months I finally felt like we'd settled into our new lives.  It's a huge adjustment.  Like others said, it's survival mode right now.  You do what you have to in order to get to the next day.

amanda31H

natb22:

Nights were the hardest for me at that age, not days. Are they on any type of schedule? Eating every 3 hrs, etc? Could it be colic? Maybe reflux?

It is so hard at that age because you can't do much to entertain them.

Same here.  But that's because I wasn't sleeping at night!  I remember when the sun would start to go down that I would get teary because I knew night was coming - make it stop!  Everything seemed "easier" in the light of day.

OP - I wondered the same things as natb22. 

If nothing else is up, all I can tell you is that the first 6 weeks were the hardest for me, it got exponentially easier by the 8th week, and when they hit 3 months I finally felt like we'd settled into our new lives.  It's a huge adjustment.  Like others said, it's survival mode right now.  You do what you have to in order to get to the next day.

iluvadam

You poor thing.  Sending out (((hugs))) and prayers that you get a break soon.  This phase is soooo hard but it does get better.  My only suggestion is going outside.  Take them for walks or put them in a safe place and walk out the front door for a deep breath now and then. 

kafunder

MrsLee04:

I totally understand....at that point I dreaded going to bed because it meant that soon I'd be waking for another day of hell.  The days were much worse because my babies STTN very early, so I did get a good night's sleep.  But my DD cried all day long and drove me insane.  Like you, I didn't have family or help nearby, so it was just me during the day.  But yes, there is a light and it will get better.  0-3 months tends to be the worst, and usually after 6 months it's even better.  Hang in there!!!!

I totally had the same feeling as the bolded part above. I know how you're feeling, and it does get better. It doesn't seem like it will now, while you're in the thick of it, but we've all been there, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For us, it got better around 7 weeks and things were wonderful until about 16 weeks. Months 4-6 were really tough again, but then by 6.5 months, things got much, much easier. 

Hang in there! **Hugs** 

blondek8

I'm sorry. I can't really offer much advice that differs from the above.

The first ... lots of months were absolutely horrible for us. It did get a bit better once we established a bedtime/bedtime routine around 2 months. It gave us a bit more downtime in the evening together. Hang in there Momma. It's rough but you'll make it through. Take it day by day, minute by minute if you need to. Just survive right now. Nothing else matters.

2shihtzus

First off, yes there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel!  You are in the thick of the age that I personally thought was the hardest.  I thought their first few weeks weren't that bad but then around weeks 5/6, I thought that things got a lot harder.

A couple things, do you think they could be gassy?  My boys had terrible gas problems that caused us a lot of tears (all 3 of us) and days of screaming.  We had to use mylicon drops religiously and switch formula (not sure what you can do if you are BF'ing though, maybe a BF'ing mom can chime in).

Also, do you have the happiest baby on the block DVD?  Not that he can solve all problems because even with my BFF Dr. Karp, we still had tough days but the techniques do help - he quite literally saved my life a day or two, I swear.

Mrs. Alice

No advice, but just wanted to say I'm right there with you!  I can't stand hearing one of them cry when I am feeding the other and can't do anything about it.  They finally went to sleep after this last feed and this mama went to sleep too   I hope it gets a little better soon for you!

jxd215

I don't have much to add either, but second the suggestion of mylicon and Happiest Baby on the Block to help you and your LOs get some rest. It does get better, hang in there!

caden

I'm so sorry, OP. It does get a lot better/easier but I know it feels like forever until they hit an age like 6mo or 9mo. Are your boys BF? I wonder if they aren't still hungry. Is there a pattern to the crying?. My boys flipped out during and after feeds so I knew it was reflux related. Prevacid + nutramigen saved my sanity. Otherwise get the DVD of Happiest Baby on the Block and 2 swings (if the swings calm them).

MrsLnt

2shihtzus:

First off, yes there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel!  You are in the thick of the age that I personally thought was the hardest.  I thought their first few weeks weren't that bad but then around weeks 5/6, I thought that things got a lot harder.

A couple things, do you think they could be gassy?  My boys had terrible gas problems that caused us a lot of tears (all 3 of us) and days of screaming.  We had to use mylicon drops religiously and switch formula (not sure what you can do if you are BF'ing though, maybe a BF'ing mom can chime in).

Also, do you have the happiest baby on the block DVD?  Not that he can solve all problems because even with my BFF Dr. Karp, we still had tough days but the techniques do help - he quite literally saved my life a day or two, I swear.

Yes, this.  100000x this!  The first few weeks and months were hard, but I think they would have been harder had I not known about the "SHHHing" (I used white noise) to calm the crying. It was like magic, even for my refluxy baby.

The first few weeks and months are hard but you will get through it. It seems like it will never pass, but it does. I remember holding one of them in the rocker and crying, thinking "they'll never be 7 weeks old ever again..." and feeling horrible because I didn't enjoy that age at all and wanted it to be over.  

They are 10.5 months old now, and the days where I laugh until I cry are far greater than the days that I cry from exhaustion or frustration.  Not that there haven't been bumps along the road but, it does get better.  I know that even 3 months seems like an eon away, but you'll get there. 

*Hugs*

CaliDutchGrl

I am so sorry! I agree with a lot of the other posters that this was the hardest stage...

Have you talked to their pediatrician? Are they arching their backs at all? (My pedi said that this could be a sign of reflux). My nephew was really colicky (he was BF) turns out that he was allergic to the milk that SIL was drinking...could it be something that you are eating (if you are BF)?

 

Also, my pedi told me that if they are fed, changed, burped, etc etc and you are about to lose your mind...it is okay to let them cry it out in the crib for 5 minutes while you just get away! I remember doing this one time...I set them in their cribs and just went and sat in my closet (because their were 3 doors in between that blocked out the noise). I just remember giving myself a little pep talk, crying it out (yes, me and catching a breath!  

Itmamma

Totally agree with above posts!!  6 weeks was my breaking point and I just had to let them both cry their heads off while I went to the bathroom and made myself something to eat.  we all survived

I was also alone and breastfeeding.  It does get better, step away and take a few deep breathes.   I rec getting on a schedule- we continued every 3 hours from the NICU and still do with 1/2 hour flex.  I am trying my best to babywise and they are going longer at night

I wish I read "happiest baby on the block" ealier!!   The 5 Ss, swaddle (too late for me), shhhhhhh ing, swing, side or belly and sucking to soothe- really helped.

I feel for you!!!!    (((((hugs))))

macchiatto

E&RMommy:

Yes!  Hang in there.  Those first weeks up till about 2 months were the worst for me by far.

It does get better. 

Ditto this! It was tough. My MoM "big sister" told me that around the one-month mark it can get really hard because the adrenalin and novelty have worn off and sleep loss is cumulative and the light at the end of the tunnel seems a million miles away. Fussiness also tends to peak at 6-8 weeks so keep that in mind; hopefully things will turn a corner in a few weeks!

For me, things did get somewhat easier at 7.5 weeks when they fell into a good nap routine (thanks to following some of the advice in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child! worked SO well for us!) and then even easier at 4.5 months when they started STTN. It's still tiring and challenging but a lot more fun and for me nothing has been as bad as those first two months. Hang in there mama! Like pp's said, it's survival mode right now but it will start to get better! Especially when they start smiling and then laughing.

macchiatto

jxd215:

I don't have much to add either, but second the suggestion of mylicon and Happiest Baby on the Block to help you and your LOs get some rest. It does get better, hang in there!

Totally agree with this, too, and I'd also talk to the pedi to see if reflux might be a factor.

everam01

Absolutely everything sucked for me around that time. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I told DH he was going to come home to screaming babies and find me rocking in a corner somewhere.

It gets better. Or you just get used to it and it seems better, anyway. 

komurphy

I so sympathize with you.  My twins have colic and reflux.  They screamed from dusk until about 4 or 5 am every night at that age.  My family like 12 hours away and my in-laws live 18 hours away and my husband works nights.  My doctor finally put my twins on prevacid for the reflux and prescribed hypoallergenic formula (i have low milk supply and have to supplement with formula). It helped a little but I still found my self crying alot.  The only tip I have is buckle the babies into a swing or put them in the crib and step outside for 5 minutes. The babies will be fine for those 5 minutes. It really helped me when i found myself getting overwhelmed.  Also, don't be embarrassed to ask a friend or a neighbor to come over and help.  I had a guy friend from college come over.  He did nothing other then hold one of the babies for me but it was immensely helpful.  Only having to tackle one baby at a time made it alot more doable.

 

good luck.