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Toddlers: 24 Months+
jessNdean
member
i feel like i'm am going to lose it or maybe i lost it
jessNdean
member
DD's attitude has just been horrible. She will NOT nap. and of course when she doesn't she is a devil. her attitude yesterday was so unbelievable i had no idea who she was. I am at my whits end i do not know what to do. i feel myself falling apart every day. i just want to lay down and cry myself to sleep. At bed time ...now instead of just sleeping on her own i have to sit in her room for an hour and rub her and constantly tell her to close her eyes to go to bed and when she finally passes out an hour later i can leave her room. I am so exhausted. and i'm feeling very depressed. is this just a phase.
Help!
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Re: i feel like i'm am going to lose it or maybe i lost it
Hugs. Take a deep, deep breath and let it out. Seriously. Do it. Do you have a spouse or SO that can help you? If so, you need to tell them that you seriously need a break. Go to a movie by yourself. Do something you enjoy by yourself. As far as your DD goes, I think you may need to go a bit hardcore on her. She's got to have some accountability and responsibility for her own actions. Make her put herself to sleep at night. Wether she cries for an hour straight at night or whatever. She's a big enough girl to know that Mommy loves her and letting her cry herself to sleep for a while is not going to make her insecure or think you don't love her. You can't keep trying to make her world perfect every night. She's got to develop her own sleeping skills and learn how to cope by herself.
Make her go in her room/bed every day at nap time no matter what for at least an hour. She can cry, play, sleep or whatever, but she will know that this time comes every day without negotiations. It is routine, like it or not.
I don't do time outs with my DD yet, but maybe it is something you should think about with yours, depending on your circumstances with her behavior. Just try to remember to praise her wonderfully for good behavior when it does occur. Try to stay positive with her as much as possible to encourage the same attitude from her. It's very hard work to raise a toddler, so don't discount the good job you are doing!
Good luck, and make sure you get that time out for yourself somehow. You need it to regroup and recharge!
Oh I know!! I hate it too. My dd falls asleep with one of us every night iN OUR BED. Half the time we dont even mover her to her Big Girl bed, b/c we are lazy and tired. She says NO to everything and constantly asks for: gum, cookie, or whatever pops in her head.
Let's pray it gets better!
thanks ladies,. I just feel so crappy!
I have a husband who helps out but he is working all day. and thankfully when he gets home he give me that break i need. I just hate that i even NEED a break. or that i want to be out of this house it makes me feel bad although i know i need or deserve it. I do tonssss of time outs. too many in my opinion. I tried nap time at 12:30 today. she cried then she was fine...she cried then she was fine. All the way up until 3pm i finally got her to nap. But I had already yelled at her at this point a 1000 times. then i regroup i have a different attitude and still nothing. i take her things away and tell her she isn't allowed to have them back until she naps. i made her sit on the couch with no tv. no toys. i told her she has to either sleep in her bed (which she has a toddler bed now) or sit on the couch and do nothing. I just dont know why she gives me such a hard time about this. in the last 3 weeks she is just a different child. We took the binky away and she doesn't ask for it anymore. she has been doing great with out it. is the change because of that too? even though she doesn't ask for it!?
Thanks again ladies. i feel like its just my kid!
Hmmm, maybe you are picking too many battles? Perhaps setting her up to fail too often?
You can put her in her room and tell her she needs to take a nap, but if she doesn't, I wouldn't keep battling with her about it. I would just leave her in there for a least an hour with no discussion about it. If she doesn't nap - fine. Just put her to bed early that night. If she does get super cranky later that night, just pretend you are deaf and blind while she carries on and acts a fool. Think of it as her problem - not yours!
I think that the constant battling is just reinforcing the negative behavior and making it into a true battle if it wasn't already. Just my thoughts! Hang in there!
First of all, stop being a martyr. We've all fallen victim to it but the difference between you and me is that you SAY you know you deserve a break but you DON'T DO IT. Tomorrow morning get on the phone and make an appt. for a spa, massage, mani/pedi, dinner with a girlfriend, WHATEVER. Instead of saying, "I would really love a mani/pedi" which will probably never happen, say "I'm calling the salon RIGHT NOW and making an appointment for this Tuesday evening." Make a commitment that you know you shouldn't break and that will force you to get out of the house. If you can, designate one evening out of the week as your time. Whether that's to go out with friends, have a bubble bath, whatever.
And seriously, your DH works so hard? And what do you do all day? Give the guy a 30 min. break to decompress when he gets home and then hand the kiddo over. Parenthood is not a part-time gig.
Secondly, ditto everything 2Bulldog mom said.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
I feel your need for rest/peace in your mind. Today I broke down to DH saying that how I feel like everything is chaotic - the house, DSs lack of naps, my lack of care of my own spirit. I said that the house is looking worse, and its like this downward spiral that is so bad, I don't want to address the whole thing, which makes it worse. After a nice long vent/cry, I went to work cleaning...cleaned my home, made a big dinner, and DS was a pretty happy camper.
DS dropped his nap recently...instead of "forcing" the nap, after 30min or so if he doesn't fall asleep then he has "quiet time."
Quiet time is when I dim the lights and put on a nice quiet disney movie. Today, we had quiet time, which turned into a very cranky boy (who started rubbing his eyes). I immediately put him in his crib, and he passed out for 1.5 hours. After his nap, I tend to give him a nice long bath...which quiets him down somewhat...and allows for an easier transition into dinner and then bed.
HTH.
Hey Jess,
We're having "quiet time" again. DS looks peppier than yesterday, so it might be a simple movie.
Try to relearn naptime as now, quiet time. This way your not conditioned to feel pissy when your LO doesn't nap. I was getting grumpy when I would hear him babble in the crib...when I just started to retrain my thoughts into, "Meh...looks like a Disney Movie today."
IMHO Mickey Mouse CC and Yo Gabba seem to be on the same activity level (stimulating wise)...try for something thats a slower pace and has a soothing effect on a person like, Cinderella, Snow White, or even Bambi. When you watch it, ask yourself, "Do I feel calm?" If not, it may not be a "quiet movie."
ha thats a great thought. i need to get her a dvd player. we just gave her her own small tv. But i have to say she did do great in quiet time. No crying. she laid on the floor then she got up and played and put all her animals in her bed and sat there and watched tv. so first time was a plus. she wasnt' mad or upset either when i told her i am closing the door for quiet time ! But yes, I definitely still have to retrain my thoughts from nap to quiet time. Thanks for all the input!
where in NJ do you live princess lilly? i forgot!
i live in Lincoln Park
i hope things are going better for you now! I just wanted to second what Lily said about retraining your mind to be okay with no nap. I used to get so upset when DD skipped her naps, we'd force it forever until i gave up all angry, and call DH to come home early cuz i was so frustrated with her. but now it's just something that happens sometimes, ya know? (DD is 2.5 yrs old)
also i know this might seem weird, but i wake my DD up every morning. i figured out if she sleeps past 7pm she will not nap. so i set my alarm and wake her up, so i figure it's just like if i went to work (even though i SAH). since i started doing this, she is MUCH more regular about her nap. and this works for us, she's happy. i think she needs that break in the middle of the day, and this way she can make it till DH gets home to do dinner etc nicely with the family, so she's not a maniac when he gets home.
i don't want to associate bad feelings with her own room/bedtime/etc, because then she might start fighting it even more often, so we don't ever just force DD into her room. it sounds like "quiet time" is working well so far, i hope that continues, good luck!!!!
Hey Jess,
We're in Hoboken currently.
Anyway, I'm glad she did great with quiet time. I hope it continues! Its sucky that naps start dropping now. I too still need to keep reminding myself that he is just growing up, and may not need as much sleep as he used to. He is sleeping a full 12 hours at night currently too.
ahhh okay thats not that far.
Thank goodness that she sleeps well at night. It might be a struggle for her to finally go to bed but when she does she is pretty good and a 12 hour sleeper most nights! Last night she did pretty good with going to bed, she was probably really tired because of no naps. Its hard with no naps but I guess we just need to adjust...then again...i dont ever nap! I have never been a big napper!
Hope you have a great day! Too bad it calls for rain for the next 2 days! but Saturday will be chilly and beautiful! I can't wait!
Your not a nap person either? Me too! My mom always goes on about how I never napped as a kid...drove her nuts. Still don't to this day -my mind is too busy to nap.
You think this no napping "thing" is hereditary? I'm probably going to take him to the mall to run out some energy at the playground. Toddlers have boundless energy don't they?
Have a great day too
Nope not a napper at all! But I actually passed out after work at 5:20 for an hour. I NEVERRRRRRRR DO THAT! but with having my lady friend for 2 1/2 weeks i think i've just been exhausted! ha ha! What mall? that has a playground?! Oh and I didn't mention in this post before, I work from home. With DD! so i've been a lot frustrated lately than I usually am. Have fun at the mall! wish I could do that instead!