When to have the first post-twins baby?

anniestelle

Hi all.  I am sorry if this is a topic that has already been discussed extensively.  When I tried a few search terms, I couldn't find anything, so I must not be using the right words.

 In any case, I was wondering if anyone who had a baby after their twins would weigh in on the pros and cons of how to long to wait until the next one?  My ID boys are now 22 months old, and I'm witnessing everyone who had a singleton at the same time now getting pregnant with their second. So it's been on my mind.  

I was originally thinking about 4 years until the next one would be best, but now I'm not sure I want to wait that long!  Plus, if we're only going to have one more, I wonder if the next kid would feel lonely with having older siblings that much older?

FYI, since mine are ID, and no one in my family has twins, and I won't be using any fertility drugs, I'm not counting on a second set (though everyone teases me that it could happen!)

 

Thanks!

browneyedgrl4282

I think that is personal decision that everyone will say something different. I think for me I choice to have another one right away because our twins were a result of IVF and I was told my chances of getting pregnant on my own without IVF were slim! My son was born 1 year and 22 days later!

kelliwill

Totally a personal decision.  DH and I are older (35) and so we decided that we would make our decision about #3 by the time the girls are two.  We are totally on the fence.  Either way I personally would want them in HS together and I think 3 years is a good age difference but like you said if you want 4 years difference then go for it.  Even better, your twins might be more help to you if they were older.  We had a friends daughter visit and she was 5 and she was super helpful.  I told her parents....I need one of those!  GL!

gekeler6

I had two consecutive sets of identical twins.  They are 2 years apart.  I was told my chances are better at winning the lottery than having another set of identicals after my first set.  I had four kids under 3 years of age.  Now they are 9 and 7 years old and we are expecting baby #5 and its a singleton.  It happens, just be prepared if it happens to you.

MagPie08

This is a totally personal thing. We want our kids all close together, and got pregnant when the twins were just shy of 10 mos.

DarthNBJenni

My girls will be 3 on Saturday and I'm worried. They are both still very much mama's girls, and are needy. They can walk, but love to be held or carried. I'm trying to wean them from this. Oh, and they aren't the best sleepers. 

I think I would have gone insane if I'd had this one when they were younger.  

kelliwill

gekeler6:

I had two consecutive sets of identical twins.  They are 2 years apart.  I was told my chances are better at winning the lottery than having another set of identicals after my first set.  I had four kids under 3 years of age.  Now they are 9 and 7 years old and we are expecting baby #5 and its a singleton.  It happens, just be prepared if it happens to you.

Okay, this seriously scares me.  If I told DH he'd say for sure we are done! 

amanda31H

gekeler6:

I had two consecutive sets of identical twins.  They are 2 years apart.  I was told my chances are better at winning the lottery than having another set of identicals after my first set.  I had four kids under 3 years of age.  Now they are 9 and 7 years old and we are expecting baby #5 and its a singleton.  It happens, just be prepared if it happens to you.

This scares me too- but then I look at your siggy and it helps!

OP- we are trying now.  We always wanted about a 2 year gap between our kids b/c I'd like to have the "baby making stage" of our life done with in a short period of time. 

Also, I don't want a huge age gap between our third child and the girls.  Somehow I feel that having the age gap closer will help the third child not feel so distanced from "the twins."  It may not make that much of a difference, but for some reason I think about that a lot.

macchiatto

My boys are 2y8m now and I think they're somewhat like DarthNBJenni's girls in that they've both been pretty needy and high-maintenance up until now. Adding another baby at any time in these first 2.5 years would have been really tough, but now that they're getting a little more independent I think it would be easier. I do think it depends a lot on your kids, your personality, what kind of support and resources you have, etc.

keg

It's definitely a personal thing.  I would say that you should get pregnant before they are 2 though.  I used to have big time baby fever and was ready for a 3rd.  However, sometime between 2 and 2.5 I could see the light at the end of the tunnel--they are sleeping well and becoming real little people that I can do things with.  I'm almost scared to go back to the baby stage now.  I'm sure it would have been tough if I had 3 under 3, but in some ways you're still used to the chaos.