SAHM do you feel lonely?

cs1007

I stay at home with DS, and I am feeling kind of lonely lately. We are constantly doing things and keeping busy. I have some mommy friends through playdates/groups, but I am still feeling a little bit out of touch....I find myself thinking 'what am I going to do with my life' after kids and getting a little bit overwhelmed. Then again I alsojust found out I am pregnant with #2, so maybe that has something to do with it?!

LoveEeyore

The cure: a co-op preschool.  Even better, get on the board.

I generally don't feel lonely because we have a lot going on, and  I am fairly content to stick to "Hi nice to see you- oh your boy is cute getting so big, okay, bye!" But  I feel lonely when I go to the grocery store alone.

When I do make the rare social outing, I find I am more amused by my kids than my cohorts.  Yeah, I'm that mom.  But I do find myself invigorated doing some work.  I've had a couple new clients referred by friends/old clients.  I was hesitant because I didn't want to work at all, but it made me realize that a part of me misses being part of a team, having my intelligence and competence acknowledged, doing something great for someone else. 

Maybe pregnancy is part of it, maybe the hormones are creating a lot more emotions and as SAHM you have no appropriate outlet, making it seem lonelier. Maybe a prenatal yoga class or something? I liked being around people experiencing the saame thing, but I didn't have to actually interact with them- that helped me a lot.  Hope you feel better soon!

macchiatto

I've had phases where I did. E.g the first 10 months of my boys' lives, DH and I shared a car (and he needed it for work) so I really only got to socialize during the week if a friend came over. The first 3 months I had visitors several times a week but then they tapered off. What helped for me (after getting a car) was:

* taking advantage of nap time to catch up with friends online

* joining a women's group at my church that meets one morning a week (with childcare provided)

* trying to schedule play dates at least once every week or two

* getting a family membership at the Y where I can work out, go to exercise classes, etc. while the boys are taken care of in the ChildWatch for up to 2 hrs/day

 

SailorGray

I am a WAHM and, yes, I feel pretty lonely. Unfortunately, I cannot do a lot of things mentioned in the above posts b/c I need to be at my house working.  I plan on looking for a job outside of the home in the new year. I have no friends and my family - well, that's another story.  My H also is OOT quite often, so it's just me with the LO.

DarcyLongfellow

No, I'm honestly not lonely at all. I have a wonderful group of friends that I made from joining my local MOMS club (our kids were all in the same playgroup). In addition to seeing those friends, I do one or two MOMS club events per week. I also go to a weekly book club/support group for moms at my church (they provide childcare). I also use nap time to chat on the phone with friends who live out of town. I feel like having a little one has been a great way to meet friends for me -- but I did have to force myself to get involved with various activities to see which ones worked for me.

WiggleBaby

cs1007:

I stay at home with DS, and I am feeling kind of lonely lately. We are constantly doing things and keeping busy. I have some mommy friends through playdates/groups, but I am still feeling a little bit out of touch....I find myself thinking 'what am I going to do with my life' after kids and getting a little bit overwhelmed. Then again I alsojust found out I am pregnant with #2, so maybe that has something to do with it?!

i feel the same way a lot of the time, it kind of goes in waves.   i'm very involved in two different playgroups (and plan events for both myself so i know everyone).  me and DD have two scheduled classes each week and we often hang out with a friend here and there too.  but i completely understand the the out-of-touch thing you are talking about.  it's mostly surface mommy-relationships with those people and very few real close friendships.  i'm actually trying to convince DH to get a pet again, because it was nice having another body there to hang out with during naptimes.    the phone and internet are great, but i'm an extrovert (need interactions with others in order to feel recharged) and being stuck at home is hard.  my DH is an introvert (needs time alone to recharge) and he is so envious of my situation.... if i were more like that it would definitely be easier.

and yeah after DD is grown, i feel very nervous about what i'm going to do... i keep pushing that out of my head cuz i don't want to deal with it, but i know i have to...

i recently started an evening exercise class so DH is home to hang out with DD and just an hour every other night is pretty great.  (or for you, prenatal yoga or a pregnancy swim class maybe?)

 anyway this is just a low point but i'm sure you'll get into a better place again soon!  good luck with baby #2 and have FUN with it as much as you can!  g/l

 

cs1007

Thanks for all the advice and understanding...it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone and that I have a place to vent!

fussybunny

I just posted almost the same thing in SAHM. I feel isolated and like im a mommy "machine". My DH isnt home very often and I do 90% of the childcare. Sometimes I feel like I dont have an identity anymore. I was working PT 2 days a week which helped a bit but earning less than I was paying someone to watch DS obviously doesnt make sense.

Your not alone