F/U: Not really thrilled with sex

lilbit923

Well I will give DH an 'A' for effort but he still didn't get any.

Just not in the mood and when we were talking the night before last about stuff that bothers us about each other we got on the topic of the girls. Well DH has this irrational belief that when I say I think an actor is good looking then that means I'm going to cheat. Highly unlikely on many levels, whatevs. So DH's comment to me is "Fine! Go play with him. I will take the girls from you." So we were discussing how his threat of taking my children from me makes me feel. He says he was joking (riiight) and then adds "If you remember correctly, when we got together I didn't want anymore children. I only had children with you because YOU wanted them." ::insert deep evil soul burning stare:: (btw this stare is one level above the care bear stare, I looked it up)

He was asking me yesterday why I am not in the mood and I didn't expound on anything other than I don't feel like it, not in the mood, I am tired (which I am, freaking exhausted). He comes home with 5 dozen roses. Cool, you're still not getting any.

He tries this morning when I'm already running late. Not working for ya buddy. I love DH, I appreciate him trying to make me feel better but there's something about telling me you really didn't want children but you just did it to pacify me and if you feel like it you'll take my babies from me. Call me crazy but that doesn't exactly make me want to hop into bed with you.

So how was your evening last night?

Molluskwrangler

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

lilbit923

Molluskwrangler:

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

Why is it men can't just sit there and look cute sometimes? Just when I think I'll toss DH a bone for his efforts he has to do something just to piss me off, then I'm not in the mood and he's ticked.

Or he picks the most inopportune time. Like this morning. I'm up at 0430, try to be gone by 0500 so I can be at the office at 0530. I'm dragging asss, get up after 0440, try to find something to wear and he wants to play. Clearly I hurt his feelings because I was not reciprocating and he just hugged me instead. Sorry DH, we can try again tonight (unless you make another bonehead comment). We made out for a few minutes and I left for work.

Doodle2011

I'm one of the frigid bumpies who barely has given it up.  I feel bad but I have no drive and it's even been painful.  Going to let H get it in for sure this weekend.  I've just been battling back to back strep then a cold and have not felt like getting it on or spreading my germs.  My H picks inopportune times as well.  My least favorite being in the middle of the night.  Really dude?  We barely get to sleep, and you are going to try and chester molester me during said coveted sleep?  Um, no.  And fwiw when H is annoyed with me, life or lack of sleep he throws the whole "we're only having one kid and that's that" line out there, but when he's frisky he's all "let's make a baby".  I think they just know saying anything baby-related will press buttons.  lol

rimjob

I considered giving it up last night because H made a super good meal, buuut then he became a super douche.  I was washing the mountain of dishes he left, he uses just about every dish possible to create a meal.  Oh, and we don't have a dishwasher.  I'm trying to get all these dishes done so I can quicklly put a cake together and get it in the oven before I need to get E ready for bed.  In the midst of me scrubbing pans, H just goes upstairs and gets in the shower.  Umm, WTF!  I'm trying to get all this done and you just disapear?  Not good.  I march up there and rip him a new one over the fact that he just thinks he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. ( Slightly crazed because I slept 3 hrs total the night before).  I didn't speak to him the rest of the night.  He woke me up with a back rub.  I let him go till he tried getting a little frisky then I dropped the you're an ass bomb.  We have made up, but still no sex for him.  I did shave my legs this morning though.

lilbit923

rimjob:

I considered giving it up last night because H made a super good meal, buuut then he became a super douche.  I was washing the mountain of dishes he left, he uses just about every dish possible to create a meal.  Oh, and we don't have a dishwasher.  I'm trying to get all these dishes done so I can quicklly put a cake together and get it in the oven before I need to get E ready for bed.  In the midst of me scrubbing pans, H just goes upstairs and gets in the shower.  Umm, WTF!  I'm trying to get all this done and you just disapear?  Not good.  I march up there and rip him a new one over the fact that he just thinks he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. ( Slightly crazed because I slept 3 hrs total the night before).  I didn't speak to him the rest of the night.  He woke me up with a back rub.  I let him go till he tried getting a little frisky then I dropped the you're an ass bomb.  We have made up, but still no sex for him.  I did shave my legs this morning though.

You know I got you for that back rub right? I cook dinner, do the dishes and when I cook I don't need to use 40 pieces of shiz from the kitchen to do it.

DH tried to hand off Isla so I can change her diaper. Uh huh. So I told him "You know Pampers has managed the damndest thing. They have engineered the diapers to where they are universal. Not only can you affix the tab either right of left handed but they also made them gender neutral in application. Thanks Bear, the wipes are by the bed."

lilbit923

Doodle2011:

I'm one of the frigid bumpies who barely has given it up.  I feel bad but I have no drive and it's even been painful.  Going to let H get it in for sure this weekend.  I've just been battling back to back strep then a cold and have not felt like getting it on or spreading my germs.  My H picks inopportune times as well.  My least favorite being in the middle of the night.  Really dude?  We barely get to sleep, and you are going to try and chester molester me during said coveted sleep?  Um, no.  And fwiw when H is annoyed with me, life or lack of sleep he throws the whole "we're only having one kid and that's that" line out there, but when he's frisky he's all "let's make a baby".  I think they just know saying anything baby-related will press buttons.  lol

Another female officer and I are of the belief that we have "parts". Parts = boobs, booty and vagina. Many a war were waged over 'parts' and since we are the keeper of 'parts' that kinda means we run shiit.

RSMom32011

Not so good here. 

DH and I ended up getting in an argument. Again. He wants to do something every weekend. Go over his parents usually. Or have people over. Our house is constantly a disaster. I'm freaking exhausted 24/7. 2 weeks ago, I told him that R was getting shots, and she hadn't felt good after the last ones, so this weekend I wanted to sit at home, relax, do some deep cleaning. He says fine. Well then last night he starts talking about doing a whole bunch of stuff, mainly going to his parents. I told him no. And it went from there. He basically told me that that was his family and that he was going to go over there. I asked him to think about when the last time we had a date, even just dinner with R, me and him. He couldn't remember. (It was 6 months ago, when R was a couple weeks old) I asked him to think about when the last time was we went to eat with his parents. He said, "Last week." I told him "that was pathetic and that when he starts to wonder why we hardly have sex, to think about the amount of time we actually have alone and the lack of effort he puts into our intimacy." I then went to bed alone.

I'm going to research counselors today... It's getting that bad. He apologized this morning. And said that he would try harder. This has been a problem that I've voiced since we got pregnant. It gets a little better, then gets worse than it was before. 

angelphish2010

Sorry your H is being a doucher.. Men can be really, really good at that.

When my H makes me mad I can't give it up either. Just can't do it. He always asks why we can't have make up sex like other people but I think my vagine closes up shop when I'm p!ssed.

RSMom32011

angelphish2010:

Sorry your H is being a doucher.. Men can be really, really good at that.

When my H makes me mad I can't give it up either. Just can't do it. He always asks why we can't have make up sex like other people but I think my vagine closes up shop when I'm p!ssed.

Oh me too! I can't fathom the idea of make up sex... Forgive me if yelling, crying, and being ticked off doesn't exactly turn me on. And even when we make up... I still feel the need to process the make up internally to make sure I understand everything.  So it's usually a couple days without.

lilbit923

angelphish2010:

Sorry your H is being a doucher.. Men can be really, really good at that.

When my H makes me mad I can't give it up either. Just can't do it. He always asks why we can't have make up sex like other people but I think my vagine closes up shop when I'm p!ssed.

Umm this? Exactly. I don't do make-up sex. Never have. If I'm mad at you? It's done son. Don't come knocking on the door asking for some nookie. There are wash cloths and lotion in the bathroom.

I think it's not just a physical act for me. It's emotional and because it's that way, I need time to process how you screwed me over to rationalize why I want to have sex with you. I know I'm gonna get mine, that's understood but I need to be ok with settling what made me mad in my mind before I let you in.

JerkStore213

Molluskwrangler:

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

No way! He's not cheating. I'm 1738219739718974% sure of that. I get home from work and picking up the baby around 6:30. Then I have to make dinner. Then he gets home at like 7:30 (he has a really shiitty 2 hour commute) Then we both have to eat the dinner and clean it up. He's been doing P90x, and while he does that, I feed and bathe the baby and get him to bed. He finishes with p90x around 10, and at that point I've been doing whatever it is I need to do for the night, whether it's cleaning or doing something I feel like doing.

Then the weekend comes and we have so much crap to do it's insane. Sadly for us, sex just keeps dropping further and further down the list. We're both really busy people, and I guess sex isn't more important to us than the million other things we have going on. It sucks.

lilbit923

JerkStore213:

Molluskwrangler:

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

No way! He's not cheating. I'm 1738219739718974% sure of that. I get home from work and picking up the baby around 6:30. Then I have to make dinner. Then he gets home at like 7:30 (he has a really shiitty 2 hour commute) Then we both have to eat the dinner and clean it up. He's been doing P90x, and while he does that, I feed and bathe the baby and get him to bed. He finishes with p90x around 10, and at that point I've been doing whatever it is I need to do for the night, whether it's cleaning or doing something I feel like doing.

Then the weekend comes and we have so much crap to do it's insane. Sadly for us, sex just keeps dropping further and further down the list. We're both really busy people, and I guess sex isn't more important to us than the million other things we have going on. It sucks.

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. I was the one there for a long time with the high sex drive and DH made me feel bad for it. He'd say "Are you TRYING to kill me?" No motherf%^&er, I'd like a thank you note from your prostate, geez.

Then it went to about twice a week, to once a week and now it's been 13 days since he got some. So I know his man-clock is ringing off the wall but I'm just not feeling it.

JerkStore213

lilbit923:

JerkStore213:

Molluskwrangler:

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

No way! He's not cheating. I'm 1738219739718974% sure of that. I get home from work and picking up the baby around 6:30. Then I have to make dinner. Then he gets home at like 7:30 (he has a really shiitty 2 hour commute) Then we both have to eat the dinner and clean it up. He's been doing P90x, and while he does that, I feed and bathe the baby and get him to bed. He finishes with p90x around 10, and at that point I've been doing whatever it is I need to do for the night, whether it's cleaning or doing something I feel like doing.

Then the weekend comes and we have so much crap to do it's insane. Sadly for us, sex just keeps dropping further and further down the list. We're both really busy people, and I guess sex isn't more important to us than the million other things we have going on. It sucks.

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. I was the one there for a long time with the high sex drive and DH made me feel bad for it. He'd say "Are you TRYING to kill me?" No motherf%^&er, I'd like a thank you note from your prostate, geez.

Then it went to about twice a week, to once a week and now it's been 13 days since he got some. So I know his man-clock is ringing off the wall but I'm just not feeling it.

THIRTEEN DAYS??? We've had sex exactly three times since DS was born. And while I was pregnant, the entire time, we had sex once. So basically in the last year and a half or so, I have had sex with my husband four times.

See? Don't feel so bad! And don't let it get to where I am in my marriage! We're both so freakin lazy about it. I know exactly what you mean though -  I kind of just gave up on initiating sex bc my H was always shooting me down. It did a number of my self confidence and my sex drive. So I left the ball in his court and now my sex life is totally ruined.

angelphish2010

lilbit923:

angelphish2010:

Sorry your H is being a doucher.. Men can be really, really good at that.

When my H makes me mad I can't give it up either. Just can't do it. He always asks why we can't have make up sex like other people but I think my vagine closes up shop when I'm p!ssed.

Umm this? Exactly. I don't do make-up sex. Never have. If I'm mad at you? It's done son. Don't come knocking on the door asking for some nookie. There are wash cloths and lotion in the bathroom.

I think it's not just a physical act for me. It's emotional and because it's that way, I need time to process how you screwed me over to rationalize why I want to have sex with you. I know I'm gonna get mine, that's understood but I need to be ok with settling what made me mad in my mind before I let you in.

LOL!

Yeah if H makes me mad over the weekend he doesn't get it for another week because during the week he works until 2 am.. So I'm always like Really? Was it worth it to pisss me off? Try again next weekend dumb asss!

lilbit923

JerkStore213:

lilbit923:

JerkStore213:

Molluskwrangler:

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

No way! He's not cheating. I'm 1738219739718974% sure of that. I get home from work and picking up the baby around 6:30. Then I have to make dinner. Then he gets home at like 7:30 (he has a really shiitty 2 hour commute) Then we both have to eat the dinner and clean it up. He's been doing P90x, and while he does that, I feed and bathe the baby and get him to bed. He finishes with p90x around 10, and at that point I've been doing whatever it is I need to do for the night, whether it's cleaning or doing something I feel like doing.

Then the weekend comes and we have so much crap to do it's insane. Sadly for us, sex just keeps dropping further and further down the list. We're both really busy people, and I guess sex isn't more important to us than the million other things we have going on. It sucks.

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. I was the one there for a long time with the high sex drive and DH made me feel bad for it. He'd say "Are you TRYING to kill me?" No motherf%^&er, I'd like a thank you note from your prostate, geez.

Then it went to about twice a week, to once a week and now it's been 13 days since he got some. So I know his man-clock is ringing off the wall but I'm just not feeling it.

THIRTEEN DAYS??? We've had sex exactly three times since DS was born. And while I was pregnant, the entire time, we had sex once. So basically in the last year and a half or so, I have had sex with my husband four times.

See? Don't feel so bad! And don't let it get to where I am in my marriage! We're both so freakin lazy about it. I know exactly what you mean though -  I kind of just gave up on initiating sex bc my H was always shooting me down. It did a number of my self confidence and my sex drive. So I left the ball in his court and now my sex life is totally ruined.

I made sure to be very active with DH during my pregnancies and I was trying to have sex about 2-3 weeks after delivery. I didn't want DH going off somewhere else because I was locked up for 6-8 weeks. I don't wanna say DH would cheat but I'm a believer in the "warm hole" theory and I don't put it past any man to cheat if the right opportunity presented itself.

I used to want it several times a week. I was feeling good about myself losing the baby weight and then some but he never says I look good. Not a peep. I guess this is a big assumption on his part that I know what he's thinking. Not so much. Women are verbal creatures. We need to hear what you love/like about us. Otherwise it just doesn't compute. So now he's on day 13 of getting none.

Doodle2011

Jerkstore (great name by the way), I think we've done it like 6 times since DD was conceived through current date.  So you're not alone.  Hang in there.  My H keeps trying, bless his heart, I am the one who has to get over the hump (so to speak).

MissSunny42

Yikes! That is horrible. It would break my heart to hear H say something like that. I am so sorry! I would never let that go.

 

Molluskwrangler

JerkStore213:

Molluskwrangler:

Wow, well that's a whole lot of trying and a whole lot of crappy. sorry love.

Well we had sex and H told me he thought every other night was good. I told him he was lucky we had sex 2x a week. He thought that wasn't much. I told him some women on TB still hadn't done it or only had a handful of times. He informed me their Hs must be cheating. I told him he was nuts and their Hs were dealing with it. H told me again they were cheating. 

I then felt really pissed that this to me meant that if I didn't put out a certain amount that he would wander his ween to other pastures. I never took him for that guy. bleh

No way! He's not cheating. I'm 1738219739718974% sure of that. I get home from work and picking up the baby around 6:30. Then I have to make dinner. Then he gets home at like 7:30 (he has a really shiitty 2 hour commute) Then we both have to eat the dinner and clean it up. He's been doing P90x, and while he does that, I feed and bathe the baby and get him to bed. He finishes with p90x around 10, and at that point I've been doing whatever it is I need to do for the night, whether it's cleaning or doing something I feel like doing.

Then the weekend comes and we have so much crap to do it's insane. Sadly for us, sex just keeps dropping further and further down the list. We're both really busy people, and I guess sex isn't more important to us than the million other things we have going on. It sucks.

I really don't believe that other womens men are cheating just because they aren't getting any. But it made me feel like if we weren't having sex that he would cheat, I wanted to punch him in the d!ck.

NewFamily09

Sorry, but your DH sounds like an immature jerk.  No wonder you're never in the mood.  I wouldn't want to go near him with a 10 foot pole.  What a horrible thing to say that he only had kids because you want them.  I can't imagine any husband so mean to say that.  Wow, I think he has some real issues and maybe needs counseling.  What a jerk.

JerkStore213

Molluskwrangler:

I really don't believe that other womens men are cheating just because they aren't getting any. But it made me feel like if we weren't having sex that he would cheat, I wanted to punch him in the d!ck.

I hear ya. I mean, what other way are you supposed to take that? Did you say anything to him about it or just let it go?

Molluskwrangler

JerkStore213:

Molluskwrangler:

I really don't believe that other womens men are cheating just because they aren't getting any. But it made me feel like if we weren't having sex that he would cheat, I wanted to punch him in the d!ck.

I hear ya. I mean, what other way are you supposed to take that? Did you say anything to him about it or just let it go?

I just let it go, it was late and I didn't feel like fighting. 

lilbit923

NewFamily09:

Sorry, but your DH sounds like an immature jerk.  No wonder you're never in the mood.  I wouldn't want to go near him with a 10 foot pole.  What a horrible thing to say that he only had kids because you want them.  I can't imagine any husband so mean to say that.  Wow, I think he has some real issues and maybe needs counseling.  What a jerk.

He wasn't saying it in a snarky way he was just telling me how he feels. And it wasn't how he said it that pissed me off but that fact that he would say that to me at all, has me ready to junk punch him right up in his man business. He, at times, tends to treat me like he does his ex-wife and I have to remind him that biitch and I aren't the same so he better check that shiz at the door.

What's more is he is wonderful with the girls. Absolutely awesome! Each girl gets designated daddy-daughter play time every evening so they both know they are important. Then he says something like that to me. fvcktard!

 

violaplayer

I love dudes who don't get that sex just isn't gonna happen if you piss us off enough. When I'm pissed, my vag is tighter than Fort Knox. And FFS, don't even look at me or breathe funny! Just sit there and look pretty!

There, I feel better now. Sorry your Hs (Lilbit and Mullusk) are being dumba$$es. That just sucks. You want me to come and twist their stuff? :P 

lilbit923

ViolaPlayer:

I love dudes who don't get that sex just isn't gonna happen if you piss us off enough. When I'm pissed, my vag is tighter than Fort Knox. And FFS, don't even look at me or breathe funny! Just sit there and look pretty!

There, I feel better now. Sorry your Hs (Lilbit and Mullusk) are being dumba$$es. That just sucks. You want me to come and twist their stuff? :P 

I think somewhere in his mind he forgets "Oh yeah, my wife is A COP! Maybe I don't wanna piss her off!" but nooooo, I guess seasons change and somewhere he gets it twisted that he's running shiit and then I have to man-up and explain how it really works. It gets bold in my house.

If I have to I can always pluck his nut hair with tweezers when he's dead asleep.

JerkStore213

I swear our husbands are the same person. He says disgusting mean crap to me all the time too. It's very immature, and it really doesn't nothing to help his case in the sex department. It makes me exponentially less attracted to him.

lilbit923

JerkStore213:

I swear our husbands are the same person. He says disgusting mean crap to me all the time too. It's very immature, and it really doesn't nothing to help his case in the sex department. It makes me exponentially less attracted to him.

THIS! Yes, I think we are related. Cuz I see it the same way. So when he's jacking with me that I would go out and have sex with someone else just because I comment that they are handsome? Really? Um no and here's why jack monkey. NO matter who it is, how good looking they are or how nice they temporarily may be....somewhere there is a woman sick of his shiit. Somethings just aren't worth the hassle.

violaplayer

PLucking hair with tweezers? Yeouch. I like you, you're a thinker. :P

lilbit923

ViolaPlayer:

PLucking hair with tweezers? Yeouch. I like you, you're a thinker. :P

I like you too. Thank you. Stick with me. I'm inventive.