Stress, Fights and more. WWYD

nzmum

Hi, I have also posted this on my birth month board but thought I could get some advice from some strong single mamas 

So recently my Fiance and I have been having a few issues. It's more from my end though. I am just sick and tired of his laziness and his attitude. I am honestly questioning if this engagement can go any further. He doesn't talk about the baby or even smile when it's mentioned. I get no help with anything because "he's too tired" after work.

Last week, we had some rotten veges in our fridge that we forgot about and I tried taking them out but it made me vomit twice, so I asked him too and he didn't and said that I had to. I took the veges out to the bin but vomitted three times more. I came in crying and he asked what was wrong in a really snarky tone and I just told him to leave it.

I cannot get a good night sleep as he is a butt to sleep with. He is forever taking up 3/4s of the bed and covers, snoring and grinding his teeth. I have asked if he could possibly sleep on the couch for one night so I could get some decent sleep but apparently because it's my problem, I should sleep on the couch. Every Friday night, he comes home with a 12 pack and will sit in the lounge until 3am drinking and playing video games. He is very clumsy and loud when he is drunk so it keeps me up until 3 am which my body cannot handle! Every time I approach the subject he snaps at me and it starts a fight.

I do not want to bring a baby into this life, I am so confused and feel so alone right now. Please help?

BostonGayGal

He sounds like a loser. Was he this unkind before you got pregnant or is this new behavior? That might make a difference, but unless this is all brand new, I would run away from him as fast as I possibly could.

achase123

Run, don't walk away from this man.  He sounds like a total assshat.  Here's the qualities that I see based on your post:

-lazy

-inconsiderate

-insensitive

-selfish

-possible drinking problem

-emotionally abusive

What is redeeming about him? 

nzmum

The hard thing was that we didnt live together before so I'm starting to see it all. He is nice and caring and sweet but when he gets into this funks he doesnt get out of them until the next morning. I hate the friday night drinking. I don't care if its 6. 6 I can handle but not 12. He says that he's allowed a few drinks after work on a friday and I agree but he doesnt see that 12 isn't a few, its a lot. I do love this man and I know he loves me and the baby but he needs to sort his *** out asap!

kmartinez80

You can't change him or his behaviors; you only control you so you need to decide if this is the life you want to live and the life you want to bring your child into.  If you want out, leave, if not, stop complaining and understand that you are choosing this life with this guy.

lauragetsfit

I agree with everyone above. Take it from me...A Friday night drinker is not a fun person to come home to. Especially if he's already demonstrating those characteristics now. My STBXH was a Friday night drinker. He'd come home with about 3-4 bottles of wine, give me maybe half a glass, and then finish off the rest of the bottles himself. I saw these characteristics a little before we were married, but overlooked them because he'd justify it as "I worked all week. I need to unwind." Unwind my ass...He'd stay up 'til 3 a.m., texting other women, FB-ing other women, calling other women, and just being an all around jerk. I regret that I overlooked it for so long. Now, only 9 months after our wedding, I'm filing for divorce, and I'm 12 weeks pregnant. Honestly, if he's acting like this when they baby isn't even here, then it'll just progressively get worse when the baby arrives. I say good riddence to him. Be strong for you. Be strong for baby.

peeps61308

achase123:

Run, don't walk away from this man.  He sounds like a total assshat.  Here's the qualities that I see based on your post:

-lazy

-inconsiderate

-insensitive

-selfish

-possible drinking problem

-emotionally abusive

What is redeeming about him? 

OP, I am afraid that you might be engaged to my DB. You described him 100%. He always had a$$hat qualities, but after we were married and having a baby it got a million times worse. I promise you, if you are having these issues now, they are going to be magnified once the baby is born. While deciding to go separate ways is never an easy decision, it much easier (and cheaper) to walk away now!!

Good Luck

alibabbbs

peeps61308:

achase123:

Run, don't walk away from this man.  He sounds like a total assshat.  Here's the qualities that I see based on your post:

-lazy

-inconsiderate

-insensitive

-selfish

-possible drinking problem

-emotionally abusive

What is redeeming about him? 

OP, I am afraid that you might be engaged to my DB. You described him 100%. He always had a$$hat qualities, but after we were married and having a baby it got a million times worse. I promise you, if you are having these issues now, they are going to be magnified once the baby is born. While deciding to go separate ways is never an easy decision, it much easier (and cheaper) to walk away now!!

Good Luck

That's funny. I thought she was engaged to MY DB/XH! This post has actually been refreshing to me. It's reminding me how happy I am to not be with him anymore (Lately I've been feeling sorry for myself because it was him who left, but the fact is that I was miserable and should have left him long before he left me.).