I met with another lawyer today (I met with one while i was pregnant & absolutely loved her, but couldn't afford her). Anyway, he pretty much said we both have good cases because we're both fit parents & the law doesn't favor one gender of parent over another and that essentially X can be awarded joint custody of LO even though she's a newborn. And that SINCE she's a newborn, there's no established history/pattern of her living w/either parent. Ummmm she's been living with me since she was born dumbasss. Isn't that "history?" WTF?! It started to make me wonder though, is it true? Do I not have a case?
ETA: he also said i should probably file a counter complaint for custody. I didn't think I had to do this since I'm the only one on the birth certificate, isn't it already implied that I have custody until we get a court order saying otherwise (which is what X is doing by filing...trying to get an order. So why would I have to file too?)
A lot of ladies here seem to have their custody situations work out for them in their favor because the dad didn't fight them on it or they (dad) were unfit. But what about if the guy ISNT unfit and IS fighting you for custody?? Then what?
But I guess this is why they make more than one lawyer...I'm not satisfied with his answer. Especially since the other lawyer I talked to said that there's no way a judge would order 50/50 custody of a newborn! (It was a woman....wonder if that makes a difference on how each of them perceive the case.) So the search continues, It'd be a huge blessing if I could find someone who would do pro-bono work. I have zero funds & even payment plans are out of range. I don't even have money to put LO in daycare when I go back to work in 6wks. But I "make too much money" to qualify for government assistance.
Anyway, I still haven't been served. Still haven't heard a word from him at all & it's been exactly two weeks today since I came home from the hospital & he filed papers. It's so frustrating & discouraging, there's no reason that we have to "fight" over her! I was more than reasonable & rational with him, but because he can't have control and have things his way, he runs to the courts! (And it's definitely about control because even though i haven't been served i went to the courthouse...WHERE I WORK! and got a copy of the papers and he's asking for joint physical & legal, but he wants the tie-breaker.) He also wants both of us to pay medical expenses and both of us pay child support. Now i'm not opposed to joint legal (with NO TIE BREAKER, if he gets the tie breaker, he will bully me for the rest of my life, like he does w/his ex...he has the tie breaker w/her). And i'm not opposed to joint physical, WHEN LO GETS OLDER & can understand why she has two houses
It's just heartbreaking because he doesn't have Eden's best interests in mind. If he did, then he wouldn't have let something like her last name & not being on the birth certificate (something that can be ammended) stop him from seeing her (he's never even called her by her name, he always said "the child" when referencing her). I hate myself because I saw the signs of how he was with his ex & I chose to stay in the situation & carelessly got pregnant. Now i'm torn because I love my daughter & realize that she's a blessing but i'm also cursed to have to deal with him.
But Over 9 months of pregnancy. 22hours of labor. Major surgery that I had to be put to sleep for. Countless nights of mental/emotional/physical anguish....I REFUSE to give up that easily.