Mother/MIL/Family Members Vents!

McGibbon51311

I thought it might be nice to have a place where we could collect all of our family related vents. I know a lot of women have constant problems with their MIL or their own mothers, and other family members as well. Vent away!

My vent is that my mother recently freaked out on my little sister, asking her if she was a bad mother. The reason? I asked my great aunt to be my birthing coach. My aunt is an OB-RN and has helped birth multiple babies in our families throughout the years. My mother has no medical training and doesn't even have a college degree (not that that bothers me, but it just goes to show she has no qualifications for being a coach). This came after she told me that she should be the only in the delivery room with me and not MH, more than once. She tried to say she was kidding but I could tell the JK part was an afterthought.  

lulling

I don't have any yet, relating to pregnancy.  I will next week....tons!

MTAtlanta

I find it really annoying when they ask how I'm feeling every time my DH talks to them on the phone because I'll say, "I feel great, but a little tired" or "pretty good, just sick a few days a week" and (esp my FIL) will say, "well, that's just part of it."

REALLY?! Thank you so much for telling me it's all JUST PART OF IT. I HAD NO IDEA!

I know they are being nice and interested which is great, but come one. Every SINGLE time - "Well that's just part of it." I'm never complaining or anything, and that response makes it sound like they think I am. And you're a dude! If anyone can say it, it's my MIL, and she doesn't.

WELL, THAT'S JUST PART OF IT.

speckledfrog

This is perfect, because I was just coming back to say something about my mom.

After I told her about me being pregnant she asked if I was going to work or not.  We haven't really gotten that far yet, but I do know that if we do decide I need to go back I will take off until September and then start again.  I would love to stay home and MH would love for me to stay home, but we need to sit down and really crunch some numbers.  My mom talked about how important it is and mentioned that my brother worked two jobs (while also going to school) so my SIL could stay home.  I was starting to say something about what a bad idea I thought that was when I stopped and said, instead, "Well, we all make the choice that is best for our family."  Go me.

joyfullyfound

Ooo, my MIL drives me nuts in general... but pg-wise, she's been watching what I eat!

She's a huge health nut, and obsesses over what her husband eats to the point of not keeping anything in the house that's even vaguely unhealthy in case he finds it and snacks on it (not that it stops him, he just buys stuff at work... I don't think you can force someone to diet, they have to be committed themselves). DH and I always feel sorry for him, he's not even allowed to drink fruit juice!

 Well, we told our families we're expecting when I was 12 weeks... so almost 4 weeks ago. Since then she's been overstepping her boundaries a little bit. For example, we always have Sunday lunch at my in-laws house, and she'll arrange the food on the table so that the salad and vegetables are near me, and the bread and meat are out of reach. Then when I serve myself, she'll make comments like, "Oh, I'm not sure you should have so much of that," or "Why don't you have seconds of the salad instead?" It's so annoying.

She house sit for us last week while we were camping, and when we came home there was a note on the counter that had a list of items she had 'noticed' in our pantry that I shouldn't be eating. She went through our pantry!! Argh!

I like to consider myself a healthy person, and I've always been pretty petite. I do, however, enjoy the occasional tortilla chip with salsa or bowl of honey nut cheerios... and I do so guilt free. DH and I mostly laugh off her comments, but now that I'm pregnant and more emotional I find that I'm not as good at brushing them off. That's my vent

kclg10

My MIL is a racist b! I know that is cruel to say... but it's true!

She doesn't "like" my SILs son. My BIL and her married when he was 2. He is now 21 and my BIL raised him like he was his own. So you would think at this point... 19 years later my MIL would accept him as her own grandchild. She doesn't! She said the reason why he is the way he is( I don't exactly know what that means), is because he is a half-breed. He is half hispanic half white, apparently they don't "mix" well according to her... I am hispanic and my DH is white... what will this make my child? I couldn't believe she would have the nerve to say something like that to me thinking I wouldn't take any offense to it! I should of said something the second it happened, and now that I am pregnant I feel like I really need to tell her something but the DH doesn't want to cause any drama!

End of vent!!!!

Moandsweetpea

joyfullyfound:

 Well, we told our families we're expecting when I was 12 weeks... so almost 4 weeks ago. Since then she's been overstepping her boundaries a little bit. For example, we always have Sunday lunch at my in-laws house, and she'll arrange the food on the table so that the salad and vegetables are near me, and the bread and meat are out of reach. Then when I serve myself, she'll make comments like, "Oh, I'm not sure you should have so much of that," or "Why don't you have seconds of the salad instead?" It's so annoying.

She house sit for us last week while we were camping, and when we came home there was a note on the counter that had a list of items she had 'noticed' in our pantry that I shouldn't be eating. She went through our pantry!! Argh!

OMG! I don't have anything to vent, but I say bless you if you haven't ripped her head of yet!!

SaintDorothyMantooth

My older sister has 3 kids who all have drug/alcohol related issues because she was an addict when she conceived and was pregnant with each one of them.  When they were younger, she would even drop them off at my apartment while she "ran errands" and would be gone for days at a time... 

NOW, she is giving ME parenting advice???!!!!  She is clean now and has been for a few years, so she acts like nothing was EVER wrong.  She doesn't admit to any of it, so she thinks she should be able to give maternal advice like any of my friends/family with kids.  Every time she says anything about it, it makes my skin crawl. 

ETA:  She is also upset that I don't want her in my birthing room... REALLY??? 

lawright

Moandsweetpea:

 Well, we told our families we're expecting when I was 12 weeks... so almost 4 weeks ago. Since then she's been overstepping her boundaries a little bit. For example, we always have Sunday lunch at my in-laws house, and she'll arrange the food on the table so that the salad and vegetables are near me, and the bread and meat are out of reach. Then when I serve myself, she'll make comments like, "Oh, I'm not sure you should have so much of that," or "Why don't you have seconds of the salad instead?" It's so annoying.

She house sit for us last week while we were camping, and when we came home there was a note on the counter that had a list of items she had 'noticed' in our pantry that I shouldn't be eating. She went through our pantry!! Argh!

I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut.

I would totally start emailing articles about things like chocolate having antioxidents; the importance of protein/meat in a pregnant woman's diet; the importance of not cutting back on salt while pregnant; the problems with carb-free diets, etc.  No matter what you're eating, you can probably find something to email her that says that it's perfectly fine.  Case in point: sweetsurprise.com and high fructose corn syrup.

lulling

joyfullyfound:

Ooo, my MIL drives me nuts in general... but pg-wise, she's been watching what I eat!

She's a huge health nut, and obsesses over what her husband eats to the point of not keeping anything in the house that's even vaguely unhealthy in case he finds it and snacks on it (not that it stops him, he just buys stuff at work... I don't think you can force someone to diet, they have to be committed themselves). DH and I always feel sorry for him, he's not even allowed to drink fruit juice!

 Well, we told our families we're expecting when I was 12 weeks... so almost 4 weeks ago. Since then she's been overstepping her boundaries a little bit. For example, we always have Sunday lunch at my in-laws house, and she'll arrange the food on the table so that the salad and vegetables are near me, and the bread and meat are out of reach. Then when I serve myself, she'll make comments like, "Oh, I'm not sure you should have so much of that," or "Why don't you have seconds of the salad instead?" It's so annoying.

She house sit for us last week while we were camping, and when we came home there was a note on the counter that had a list of items she had 'noticed' in our pantry that I shouldn't be eating. She went through our pantry!! Argh!

I like to consider myself a healthy person, and I've always been pretty petite. I do, however, enjoy the occasional tortilla chip with salsa or bowl of honey nut cheerios... and I do so guilt free. DH and I mostly laugh off her comments, but now that I'm pregnant and more emotional I find that I'm not as good at brushing them off. That's my vent

Oh my!  I am so sorry that you have to deal with a MIL that has an eating disorder.  (And it IS an eating disorder.)  You are a much more patient person that I.  My mother is similar and I just let her have it!  And that was before I was pregnant. 

mishpug

kclg10:

My MIL is a racist b! I know that is cruel to say... but it's true!

She doesn't "like" my SILs son. My BIL and her married when he was 2. He is now 21 and my BIL raised him like he was his own. So you would think at this point... 19 years later my MIL would accept him as her own grandchild. She doesn't! She said the reason why he is the way he is( I don't exactly know what that means), is because he is a half-breed. He is half hispanic half white, apparently they don't "mix" well according to her... I am hispanic and my DH is white... what will this make my child? I couldn't believe she would have the nerve to say something like that to me thinking I wouldn't take any offense to it! I should of said something the second it happened, and now that I am pregnant I feel like I really need to tell her something but the DH doesn't want to cause any drama!

End of vent!!!!

Don't have anything to add, but I have to say I am horrified for you. How awful that your MIL feels this way and yes, you are right, she is a racist ***.