I DONT think I'm over reacting

ElleC22

Well I'm feeling a little less than happy at the moment, I wanted to come home snuggle to a feel good movie before bed. 

No, the DH decided to put on SAW the Final Chaper. Thats fine I just CAN NOT watch it, it's entirely too gorey for me at the moment makes me feel like I'm going to PUKE.

Well my best friend who is also a room mate came into the bedroom and was talking to me so he had to pause the movie, during the duration of her brief visit in our bedroom he responded to a text, a friend of his of whom I can't stand and I want nothing to do with because she is a two faced person and has cause nothing but drama for us since we had our brief separation.

I have stated that I don't want her any where near me or my child even after s/he is born, she refuses to meet me because she has rag doll syndrome (if you don't know what that is, its where a child doesn't want a toy until another child has that said toy). In her case its my DH, she won't meet me cause I know she's no good but I'm willing to meet her and put the past behind us.

I simply glared at him when he was texting her, he KNEW I'm pissed but he doesn't understand why I don't want him talking to her.

Adding this on: She's having problems with her BF she thinks he's cheating on her and has broke up with him once already and got back together with him (in my opinion her own stupidity) Now the guy is back up to his old antics of disappearing and not calling her when they have plans. She texting him whining about how the guy is worrying her. My DH is a caring guy and I don't want this I'll be nice and not call her what I REALLY wanna call her...but I don't want her worrying him with her B.S. drama! 

Do you think I'm over reacting or being a witch for NO reason? Correct me if I am wrong. 

And yes, I know this sounds really high school drama. But I'm just pissed and really want to get it off my chest. 

SassyRedhead

No offense but this all sounds very high school drama. Either your husband respects you and your unborn child or he doesn't.  There's a reason he's keeping this chick in the wings.  I know that's not something you want to hear but to a bystander like me it's actually quite obvious from everything you just wrote. 

There is no reason why your husband should be spending his evening texting with another woman about her relationship.   Period.

ElleC22

Thank you Sassy, at least you didn't sugar coat it. I'm pissed at him and I told him as much.

Giambs9807

Honestly, I agree with EVERYTHING that sassy said.  I could understand your husband being a really caring guy and being naive to her wanting him and why it is upsetting you because my husband can be the same way in certain situations lol. However, because of the love and respect he has for me and our growing family, he wouldn't put my feelings or relationship in that type of predicament. On the up side, at least he's doing it in front of you and not behind your back like he's trying to hide something.

countrygrl5533

Long background to get to my point so bear with me.

DH and I have been together since I was 16 (now 25). We broke up for about 3 months in college. In that time, we both dated around a little. There was one girl that was totally into him and very forward. She even joined the woodsmen team that we were both part of. When we got back together, she still constantly IM'd him and called him. It was so bad that he would actually get out of bed with me to go check his AIM and it was always her.

It was a big issue. All our friends could see she was still interested even though she very strongly denied this. He finally saw this and backed off contact. He would not have been happy had the situation been reversed.

So now we have a "rule." High school friends are okay for on FB but for the most part, we are only friends with people of the opposite gender if we are both friends with them. And we don't tend to hang out with them without the other one of us around. It really just keeps all temptation away from everyone involved. It keeps all jealousy away as well. It just works for us. And if he is FB chatting with anyone, he now stops when I need his attention and I know that he has some female friends for high school/early college he still talks to some. They are all married now themselves. We keep it all very open.

But if any one of the girls started pushing to "get" with him, contact would be over. We both agreed to that.

mhollidayesq

I agree with Sassy too! As I was reading your post I kept thinking DH was a boyfriend and not a husband. When I realized you are married my opinion got stronger. He needs to grow up and cut that chick back...she is nothing but bad news! I don't know what kind of relationship you and DH have but sounds like you need to put your foot down. You are his responsibility not her...and she needs to find another confidant who is not married. Men like attention..from their wives and other woman who are willing to throw it their way. But when a man becomes a husband he needs to learn some respect. She doesn't owe you anything but HE does. Hope things work out...your LO doesn't need the stress.

Wifey1012

This made me very thankful for my hubby!

Fussalopesmom

I guess I went through something similar. I had never met his ex, nor did I want to, she's a total crappy person that is addicted to drugs and alcohol. I would never in my life associate with her and so would never ever have DS around her. Before we got married I told DH that I didn't want her destructive lifestyle part of our lives. I'm totally ok with him beingn friends with his other ex's because they're friendly and respectful of our relationship and always include me when they hang out or talk on the phone. They know that DH and I are a package deal.

 After I had DS I found out that he had been talking to her behind my back for years and paying her credit cards and at the time I was the only one working, so in a sense, I was paying her credit cards. Anyway long story short, I had to give him an ultimatum. Me or her and even with a 2 month old baby I was fully prepared to leave him. He chose me, but we had to go to some couples therapy and work on some trust issues after that.

I don't think you're over reacting. I would feel like its borderline emotional infidelity. I personally think that a married man shouldn't "need" to have an ex-gf in his life. It would make me feel like he wasn't over her.

sweet_nitenale

Sassy, your name is quite fitting apparently! Lol But I totally agree. There is NO WAY I would put up with that crap pre-pregnancy but while pregnant with HIS child? Um No! Sassy would sound like a little puppy dog compared to the bark I'd be giving him!

Teneniel

Fussalopesmom:

I don't think you're over reacting. I would feel like its borderline emotional infidelity. I personally think that a married man shouldn't "need" to have an ex-gf in his life. It would make me feel like he wasn't over her.

 

Absolutely this.  Having been through this with an ex, if your HUSBAND is not willing to cut off contact with another woman whom you do not feel comfortable with, and he can't stop communicating with her, it is like an emotional affair.  It sounds to me like an absolutely inappropriate relationship, even if nothing physical happens.

ElleC22

Thank you to all who replied to this. I was sitting here reading it and he got mad that I'd POSTED this. In my opinion I can post what ever I like on here, its not like I'm saying his name or giving out essential information only how I feel that is what this place is, support when we need it.

He's 25 and I'm 23. (I can't remember who asked)