Trying to Get Pregnant

Hopeless Vent

This month, I'm really starting to feel hopeless when it comes to TTC.  We've been BDing without protection since March 2010.  And with increased BD since October 2010.  (I know some have been trying longer.)  My BFF just got her BFP after maybe one month off BC.  (I know her fertility has nothing to do with mine.)   Every new BFP post on TB makes me a little sad (selfishly, yes).  We're already out this month because DH is traveling and won't be home until Friday.  FF is predicting Saturday.  But it was predicting Friday before AF ended.  And, of course, our bodies don't care what FF says anyway... So, it could be Friday or Saturday... or some other day.   Although, my two months of temping have shown ovulation to be on the same day for those two months.  SA results aren't in yet.  I've decided to only temp this month... no OPKs, CM, or CP tracking... and I've been trying to focus on DH and BDing without worrying about TTC.  But more and more, I feel like God (if you believe in Him) is punishing me - and, thus, I won't have a kid until I do "xyz".  (If you believe in Him, fine.  If you don't, fine.  I'm not interested in starting or participating in a religious debate...)  And I just feel hopeless... and like it is never going to happen.  Maybe I need a TTC break too.  /end vent.. Flame away.
Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C

Re: Hopeless Vent

  • imageTheAnne:

    Some days are worse than others...  You are taking the right steps in temping to make sure you are ovulating and getting a SA done since it has been over a year.  Waiting for information is always hard but hopefully you get good news from all the testing and just need to keep at it and be more patient. You have every right to feel frustrated from time to time.  Hopefully things get brighter soon.

     As far as being punished goes...  I think that opening the door to that line of thinking is really a bad idea.  Then you have to think that anyone that has anything bad happen to them are being punished for something they have or have not done and, in my opinion, that's a terrible way to go through life.  

    I agree with this and would like to add that whatever difficulties we go through in life, it is better to think of them as opportunities to grow rather than punishment.  Maybe you are learning patience or endurance or long-suffering.... whatever you get out of your life ordeals, make it positive.  It's easier said than done, but you have to or else you're going to drive yourself crazy.

     

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  • On a positive note, you say you have only been temping for 2 months and your O date has been the same both times. But, that's not really that long to be temping to develop a pattern, so maybe you will O later this month. I never O on the same CD each month, maybe yours will be a little later this month and you can get down to business this weekend.
  • imageThankful1000:
    imageTheAnne:

    Some days are worse than others...  You are taking the right steps in temping to make sure you are ovulating and getting a SA done since it has been over a year.  Waiting for information is always hard but hopefully you get good news from all the testing and just need to keep at it and be more patient. You have every right to feel frustrated from time to time.  Hopefully things get brighter soon.

     As far as being punished goes...  I think that opening the door to that line of thinking is really a bad idea.  Then you have to think that anyone that has anything bad happen to them are being punished for something they have or have not done and, in my opinion, that's a terrible way to go through life.  

    I agree with this and would like to add that whatever difficulties we go through in life, it is better to think of them as opportunities to grow rather than punishment.  Maybe you are learning patience or endurance or long-suffering.... whatever you get out of your life ordeals, make it positive.  It's easier said than done, but you have to or else you're going to drive yourself crazy.

     

    As someone who also believes in God, I completely agree with this. I see every difficulty in life as an opportunity to look to God and work on yourself. Good luck!
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  • imagemrsz2008:
    imageThankful1000:
    imageTheAnne:

    As far as being punished goes...  I think that opening the door to that line of thinking is really a bad idea.  Then you have to think that anyone that has anything bad happen to them are being punished for something they have or have not done and, in my opinion, that's a terrible way to go through life.  

    I agree with this and would like to add that whatever difficulties we go through in life, it is better to think of them as opportunities to grow rather than punishment.  Maybe you are learning patience or endurance or long-suffering.... whatever you get out of your life ordeals, make it positive.  It's easier said than done, but you have to or else you're going to drive yourself crazy.


     

    As someone who also believes in God, I completely agree with this. I see every difficulty in life as an opportunity to look to God and work on yourself. Good luck!

    Great thoughts from all three of you.  It's certainly easier said than done.  But I'm going to work on changing that thought process.  Because, you're right, it's not a good road to go down... It keeps my eyes focused on the past instead of the present and future.

    Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
    July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
    March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
    09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
    Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
    12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C
  • imageJBM1204:
    On a positive note, you say you have only been temping for 2 months and your O date has been the same both times. But, that's not really that long to be temping to develop a pattern, so maybe you will O later this month. I never O on the same CD each month, maybe yours will be a little later this month and you can get down to business this weekend.

     

    *fingers crossed*  Smile

    Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
    July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
    March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
    09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
    Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
    12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C
  • I think it's completely normal to have those hopeless moments.  I know I had quite a few months when I would tell my husband we were done because I couldn't go on anymore.  Luckily for us, we did keep trying.  And you will too.  Maybe not this month, but next month.  I agree with PP that you have to look at it as a chance to grow, don't let trouble TTC knock you down. 
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  • imageBlsd4given:
    imagemrsz2008:
    imageThankful1000:
    imageTheAnne:

    As far as being punished goes...  I think that opening the door to that line of thinking is really a bad idea.  Then you have to think that anyone that has anything bad happen to them are being punished for something they have or have not done and, in my opinion, that's a terrible way to go through life.  

    I agree with this and would like to add that whatever difficulties we go through in life, it is better to think of them as opportunities to grow rather than punishment.  Maybe you are learning patience or endurance or long-suffering.... whatever you get out of your life ordeals, make it positive.  It's easier said than done, but you have to or else you're going to drive yourself crazy.


     

    As someone who also believes in God, I completely agree with this. I see every difficulty in life as an opportunity to look to God and work on yourself. Good luck!

    Great thoughts from all three of you.  It's certainly easier said than done.  But I'm going to work on changing that thought process.  Because, you're right, it's not a good road to go down... It keeps my eyes focused on the past instead of the present and future.

    I wanted to jump in on this, as well.  I completely understand your frustrations.  My DH and I decided to start trying for a LO back in the spring and we have missed O date every cycle due to his business travels.  As a fellow Christian, I have been trying to focus on a Phillipians 4:6-7(Do not be anxious about anything...). This scripture always brings me peace and I hope it does the same for you!  GL to you! 
  • Oh man, I commiserate with the traveling husband infertility! I put my predicted O dates on the calendar so he can hopefully schedule around them. I'm only on cycle 5 this time, but my heart sank when I saw spotting today. It can be really frustrating, it's OK to vent here anytime.
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