BFN/People's Ignorance rant

MrsParker44

Hello again!

 AF is 4 days late to the party, and this is the latest I've ever been. Ever. I'm 18 DPO, and I just couldn't help it... I took the dang test. I was CONVINCED it was going to be positive. And it wasn't. What. The. Heck. I have never been late. Ever. I've been spotting all week, cramping for 2.... all abnormal for me. Couldn't drink wine last week... VERY abnormal! I know I shouldn't have PIAS, but I did. And it did nothing but make me very frustrated. I mean, okay. Fine. I'm not pregnant. Can I just start my period already so I can try again next month? I mean come on! 

That brings me to ignorant people. I'm done asking for advice from friends and family. I hear:

1- "Just relax and let it happen!" Obviously, the people that say this have never PLANNED a baby before. You can't "try to not try". It doesn't work that way! 

2- "Don't think about it so much!" I can't. It's impossible. I have never been on BCP, and always tracked my ovulation to know when my "safe time" was. I -can't- not think about it. When you do something for 7 years, you can't just STOP.

 3- "You're stressing yourself out! That's why your period is late!" Thanks Dr. Stupid! That must be the reason I started my period on my wedding day, 3 days early, right? Or the reason I started the day my sister got into a wreck and almost died... or the reason I started the day I had to go to court to take out a restraining order on my dad. Stress totally makes it not happen! NOT! I'm blowing a whole in that theory... Because God knows I could have definitely afforded to be late during my wedding!

 

Wall o' text, I know. I'm just so.... frustrated with this process, and the "advice" that people give. I did call my OB/GYN office today, and at the nurse's advice, if I don't start on Monday, I'm going in for a blood test. She immediately made me feel so much better.... she was the only person to tell me "Don't stress!"

 Am I the only one that gets so frustrated with the things other people can say? lol 

MissGOP

You're not the only one who gets frustrated, I promise. AF is actually late for me when I'm stressed, but I know that everyone's body is different. I try not to talk to my family about TTC because I don't want any 'advice" or feedback.

Do you chart? Are you sure you are 18DPO? I'm not doubting you, just curious to see what your chart might look like (while I'm still learning charting, too). Good luck to you and keep your head up!

MrsParker44

MissGOP:

You're not the only one who gets frustrated, I promise. AF is actually late for me when I'm stressed, but I know that everyone's body is different. I try not to talk to my family about TTC because I don't want any 'advice" or feedback.

Do you chart? Are you sure you are 18DPO? I'm not doubting you, just curious to see what your chart might look like (while I'm still learning charting, too). Good luck to you and keep your head up!

 Nice to know I'm not a weirdo!

 I tried charting last month, and I DID stress. Bad. (For the record, I was 28 days like clockwork. lmao!) I was literally obsessed with it, to the  point that I was looking at my chart multiple times a day, analyzing every little shift in temperature... And when AF reared her ugly head, I cried for an entire day. So, I stopped. 

 I'm 99% sure I'm 18DPO. I've always "known" when I O, because I'm one of those rare women that actually feel it. I've confirmed it with my OB/GYN that it really is what I'm feeling. I also keep an eye on my fluids, and they're always the same. You can almost set your calendar by it! My mom feels it too, I've recently found out. It's... interesting! Most people think I'm nuts when I tell them. -shrug- 

Moose2000

I understand you are frustrated with other peoples comments, however understand also that not every one knows what the "right" thing to say is. When frustrated, I try to remember that allowing myself to be stressed over others comments does not achieve anything better for me. And a majority of them really do mean well! If anything, take their comments as support and love because they want you to reach your goal. GL!

MrsParker44

Moose2000:

I understand you are frustrated with other peoples comments, however understand also that not every one knows what the "right" thing to say is. When frustrated, I try to remember that allowing myself to be stressed over others comments does not achieve anything better for me. And a majority of them really do mean well! If anything, take their comments as support and love because they want you to reach your goal. GL!

 

Oh, I totally understand! I'm certain that I'm being overly dramatic and sensitive about it, haha! (Probably the fault of AF hormones... or BFP hormones, preferrably!) But it still is frustrating. Like, for instance, a girl at work (who always makes weird, way inappropriate jokes) came up to me, poked my belly, and said "OOoh! I see your baby movingggg! Ha Ha HA!" I almost knocked her out! She knew I'd cried about it at least twice, and she says that?! Not funny. Not funny at all. >:(

This is my 2nd month TTC... I'm sure if I do get a BFN this month again, next month will get easier, just like this month was easier than last month. (Never EASY, I know, but a bit more so than at first). I have learned this month that I just won't ask for advice IRL! Thanks

mrsmommya

I agree totally!! I hate that waiting game every cycle...it's almost like I wish AF would just come like 10 dpo that wait we all don't have to wait to try again!   As for people's advice not really being what you need..this is why me and DH have decided not to tell anyone we are TTC except for my BFF and my sister.  It does kill me every day not to tell my mom and my DH's family (cause they tell us everyday its time) but I know I won't be able to take the extra stress of them always asking me for an update...then I would def. have stress problems!!

Good luck either way!!   baby dust!

MrsParker44

Mrs Mommy:

I agree totally!! I hate that waiting game every cycle...it's almost like I wish AF would just come like 10 dpo that wait we all don't have to wait to try again!   As for people's advice not really being what you need..this is why me and DH have decided not to tell anyone we are TTC except for my BFF and my sister.  It does kill me every day not to tell my mom and my DH's family (cause they tell us everyday its time) but I know I won't be able to take the extra stress of them always asking me for an update...then I would def. have stress problems!!

Good luck either way!!   baby dust!

 

The waiting wouldn't be so hard if the symptoms weren't EXACTLY THE SAME! Sore boobs, cramping, spotting, bloating... Ugh! That's my whole thing right now... Just start the dang bleeding so I can get this show on the road!

 I wish I could keep my big mouth shut about TTC... It would make this easier! Everyone asking me for updates constantly is starting to make me crazy, so I'm just going to slowly start telling people that they will know when I know.

Good luck to you too!!!  

dimples128

Sorry to say but the comments don't really end.  We are on cycle #15 and people still make remarks about it and try to give me advice.  It's extremely frustrating at times but try to find ways just smile and change the subject.  Don't even talk about it with people, just your husband and those who are closest to you.  Just my 2 cents....good luck!

MrsParker44

dimples128:

Sorry to say but the comments don't really end.  We are on cycle #15 and people still make remarks about it and try to give me advice.  It's extremely frustrating at times but try to find ways just smile and change the subject.  Don't even talk about it with people, just your husband and those who are closest to you.  Just my 2 cents....good luck!

 It is VERY frustrating! If there's anything I've learned from this, it's how to talk to someone TTC.... just give them a hug, wish them luck, and move along, you know? "Easier said than done" has been my mantra for the last week. lol

 Baby dust to you!